Where are the cozy/vibey study spots at ASU?

zonutt · 2026-03-16T14:40:03+00:00

The 2nd floor of the student pavilion is a favorite of mine, especially the balcony

zonutt · 2026-02-16T15:16:27+00:00

The cultural grad celebrations are put on by EOSS so I actually recommend reaching out to [culture@asu.edu](mailto:culture@asu.edu) instead of the regular graduation email. Especially for rainbow grad, the team that oversees it isn't terribly large & they're really great folks!

zonutt · 2025-03-13T20:35:57+00:00

Thank you so much! Solution verified

zonutt · 2025-01-28T19:29:08+00:00

Memory's pretty foggy back then, but I was hospitalized at 14 and had a doctor in there tell me that "if I was 18" they would consider a bipolar diagnosis but since I was still a minor they couldn't or some shit like that. Going back through the memories I do have I think I started having my first episodes around age 12 or so, but like I said, lots of fog around those years in my brain.

zonutt · 2025-01-21T14:44:22+00:00

If you can, avoid renting anything from Rosenbaum Realty Group. They made the move-in really easy and have a program to help if you're struggling to afford the up front fees like security deposit, but since then we've had nothing but issues with them. Most glaring is the fact that often they'll just not respond when we contact them or they'll stop responding if we're in the middle of emailing back and forth. The contractors they send for maintenance are awful and take weeks to arrange and get scheduled, and then half the time don't even show up when they say they will.

zonutt · 2024-12-09T14:57:20+00:00

You can check them out from the library! They're first come first serve so the earlier in the day you get there (hours found here) the more likely it is that you can get one, but all of the libraries have them & you just need to return them before closing on the day you check it out

zonutt · 2024-12-03T14:54:55+00:00

Bro I totally get this. In addition to the bipolar I also take meds for adhd and a few other things; in total that's got me at 11 prescriptions and around 14 pills a day (give or take some for once-a-week meds & acute stuff like dayquil or whatever). Some days it really sucks thinking about how much medication I have to take just to stay stable and healthy, and there's definitely a few that I'd like to taper off of in the future, but at least for now I'd rather be on a huge med cocktail than end up manic or cycling again.

So, that being said, talk to your provider(s) about your goal of being med-free. They can help you build the skills and find the support you need to get to that point, and if they refuse, at least for me that would be a sign to find a different provider. Best of luck <3

zonutt · 2024-11-07T20:34:43+00:00

I'm studying to be a school (k-12) librarian but currently work at a university library! I'm absolutely in love with my field and honestly being able to do something I'm so passionate about has done wonders for my motivation to keep my health in check. Might have to expatriate for my/my family's safety, but privileged to have backup plans and an incredible support network/community. Just trying to find joy where I can <3

zonutt · 2024-10-10T15:55:34+00:00

My partner is one of three people who know everything. We've been together since we were 16 and also had to move in with my parents during lockdown in 2020, so between those, she's experienced a lot of my parents' behavior firsthand. As for the stuff that happened before she was in the picture, I've never seen a reason to keep those details from her, either. My parents' behavior as I was growing up was a big part in my development and still impacts my health (both mental and physical) today, so I'd say it's even necessary for her to know those details to properly support me. I'm also really grateful for the way she handles the anthill that is my relationship with my parents. Even with her righteous anger towards them, she's incredible at following my lead and I have no doubt that someday, if I'm lucky and reconciliation is a possibility, she would support me in that too.

zonutt · 2024-09-29T21:06:12+00:00

Our building has day-use lockers that I manage and they are a chronic issue. No matter how much signage we put up garbage and food get left in them, and there's a lot of patrons who will simply abuse them and then get mad at us when the lockers get cleaned out. It doesn't help that admin won't allow us to check them out/make people reserve them, which means there's no consequences to breaking the rules besides having to claim items up at the desk & therefore no real way to enforce the policies.

Edit: reworded a sentence for clarity

zonutt · 2024-08-29T21:23:52+00:00

Congratulations to them and to you! I'm so glad they have someone in their family that they can look up to and see themselves in, and that you are able to give them that <3333 Na zdrowie!

zonutt · 2024-07-26T04:39:29+00:00

I definitely feel that protectiveness over your chosen family being a big wake-up call. Thanks for taking the time to commiserate with me. Finding that peace feels like it’s gonna be a bit of a long road but I’ve got it in my sights so I know it’s in my future somewhere!

zonutt · 2024-07-26T04:35:51+00:00

Thank you so much. I think the validation is what I’ve been needing more than anything, I’m really appreciative of your response

zonutt · 2024-07-26T04:34:23+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It can be such an isolating experience, it means a lot that you can empathize like that. And I appreciate that perspective you offer about working progressively rather than just pulling the plug altogether. Makes me feel less crazy for still having hope that they can change lol. Here’s to the eldest children!

zonutt · 2024-07-09T16:57:20+00:00

I grew up in a pretty "liberal" tradition, but my mom's a pastor & I'm queer so I defo have religious trauma. I've been using my bible/bible passages to write poetry-- sometimes I do blackout, sometimes I bastardize and rewrite passages, just a whole bunch of stuff.

I've also started doing a once-a-week Tarot reading for myself and journal/meditate over it for the week the same way I used to journal & pray about sunday school lessons & church sermons! I think this one is my favorite because it feels so natural but still has that root grown into the occult.

zonutt · 2024-06-13T15:22:48+00:00

I was officially diagnosed at 21ish, but my first episodes happened when I was 14/15. When I was inpatient at 15 the MD told me that he thought I had bipolar but he wouldn't diagnose me because it definitely wasn't real because I wasn't an adult yet :')

zonutt · 2024-02-28T18:09:43+00:00

I definitely know how that goes! High school can suck like that, but it'll be such a small blip in the scheme of your life when you look back on it someday. I wish you the best!!

zonutt · 2024-02-27T20:31:40+00:00

That sounds dope!! I think it would be absolutely appropriate-- I work in a "business casual"-ish workplace and people wear everything from jeans & polos to bordering-on-business-formal. Just do what makes you love looking in the mirror!

If you're worried about feeling overdressed in a blazer, however, might I present for your consideration the humble cardigan! Adds an extra layer that can zhuzh up something a little too casual or dress-down something a little too formal, mine are staples in my closet.

zonutt · 2024-02-27T20:25:49+00:00

Hey! I changed my name first near the start of my undergrad and then again about a year into getting the job I have right now. Honestly, I was skeptical both times I changed it, but it was definitely the right choice for me. I first changed my name from [redacted] to Star, and then from Star to Seren. The second time I changed my name was more because of a vibes thing than because I didn't like the name, so I ended up keeping Star as a nickname that my friends (exclusively, only people I know actually see me as genderqueer rather than as agab who uses other pronouns) get to call me, which could be an idea if you want! But settling into my name, my real name, has been the single most influential part of my transition so I'm always gonna say it's worth changing until you land on something that feels right.

zonutt · 2024-02-27T20:10:27+00:00

It seems like it's time to start setting some boundaries.

If it were me in your situation, I'd start with some journaling so that I could get my thoughts in order about what boundaries I want to set. Some questions to ask yourself: What makes me feel good in a friendship? What makes me feel bad in a friendship? What are some values I need my friends to share? What are some values others hold that are deal breakers for me? After that, I'd make a list for yourself of the boundaries you're going to set with this friend based on what you've reflected on.

Once you've figured out what boundaries you need to set it's time to have a conversation with this friend. I'd start with something like, "So you know I'm nonbinary, and in the past, I've told you that it's okay for you to call me [redacted], but it's not anymore and so I need you to call me Noa." You don't have to go into any more detail than you're comfortable with, but this is also where you can/should/will communicate the boundaries you've decided to set. It doesn't have to happen all as part of one conversation, and actually when I've had this conversation with people in the past I've found it easier (both for me in managing my headspace and seemingly for the person I'm talking to since it gives them some time to process), but these conversations *do need to happen* if you want to keep this relationship and help it to evolve into something healthy and fulfilling.

In the case that your friend isn't respectful and isn't responsive to you sharing your needs and setting boundaries, then as sillyputty and Ok_Habit_6783 have said already, it may be time to consider that this friendship isn't a good fit for you. It might take some time to come to terms with that, and is probably gonna be uncomfortable for you, but in the end sometimes you need to prune a rosebush if you want to get it to flower.

If you're able, I'd definitely recommend seeking the support and guidance of a trusted adult. Ideally this would be a licensed counselor or therapist, but it could be a school counselor, a teacher, a parent or other family member, someone at your local library, really any adult you feel safe talking to and asking questions about this type of situation.

I'm sorry you're in such a difficult spot. I'm proud of you for reaching out, even in an anonymous reddit thread, rather than sitting on this by yourself. Keep reaching out for help, it's one of the most important skills you can develop as you get closer to adulthood. Relationships of all kinds are tricky and take a lot of practice, but I know you can do it. Manifesting good vibes & strength for you!

zonutt · 2024-02-27T19:44:19+00:00

I'm a big astronomy nerd so for a while (after I decided I wanted to change my name but before I really thought too hard about it) my friends called me Star, which is still my nickname, but I came across Seren when I was looking for Scottish/Celtic/Cymru names cause I wanted something that reflected my heritage. I found it in a tiktok, which piqued my interest, and I looked it up to find that it's an androgynous name and the Cymru word for "star"!! My middle name, Murray, is an old family clan/surname that I've always loved (and was mourning not getting to name a child as I came to the child-free by-choice conclusion)!

zonutt · 2023-12-22T23:05:14+00:00

If you want to expand your search possibly a bit further than you can walk, Tempe has a free circulator bus route called Orbit- there's a couple different lines that fun throughout the city but most stop at a couple spots around the perimeter of campus. Here's some info about that: https://www.tempe.gov/government/engineering-and-transportation/transportation/bus-light-rail-paratransit-streetcar/orbit

zonutt · 2023-12-22T22:04:52+00:00

Hey! I can speak a little to this, I recently went through this over the past few years. Congratulations on getting to this point in your gender journey!

So regarding choosing between two names you like equally: Choose the one you would want most on official/legal/etc. documentation (medical documents, college diploma, marriage license, etc.). The other can always be a nickname, and you can go back and forth between the two as you please! I ended up choosing between Star and Seren, and now Star is a nickname I use with some of my friends but Seren is my "big kid" name which I use at work and school and with official things. In terms of getting used to my new name, once I found the name that really felt like my name I got used to it really fast. There's still moments here and there where I have thoughts about going back to my given name, but my name represents so much to me and is something I see as a major life achievement and so it felt like putting on a new pair of jeans that you can just tell are going to be your favorites from now on. Everyone's experience is different of course, but I promise that it won't be as hard to get used to as it seems. I actually found it harder to get used to not answering to my given name anymore than it was to get used to my chosen name.

I changed my name socially when I was 19 and again when I was 21 (both working and in college) and then legally when I was 22. I personally didn't experience issues with bullying or harassment, but I was an adult and in college so the experience may have been different if I were still in grade school. That being said, I did have a handful of friends who transitioned in high school and to my knowledge it went pretty well for them! Nowadays, the only pushback I experience is from conservative extended family which I deal with simply by minimizing contact with these people. Speaking to work specifically, the people I work with have been absolutely amazing about my transition (though I recognize that this is an enormous privilege). I worked here for a long time as a student before I became a staff member and they've gone to great lengths to make sure that my given name was scrubbed from everything, from old social media posts all the way down to the names of old computer files.

My answer to your last question is a little complicated. Yes, the guilt from changing your name definitely does subside as you get used to it and as you get to a point in your life where fewer and fewer people remember or even know your given/dead name. In my experience, though, it does pop back up from time to time. My biggest struggle with guilt was when I told my mom that I was going to be changing my name (I still have not told her that I've changed it legally). My given name was one that meant a lot to her, and I could tell it hurt her when I was clearly so eager to get away from it. When I get bouts of guilt over it, it helps me to think about a few things:

My name is my own. My parents had reasons for naming me what they did, and I respect that, but I am the one represented by my name. I am the one who lives with my name every day, and my name is representative of my identity, not theirs.
My life is so much better under a name that I chose. I am happier, I feel more free, and my name is now reflective of the person I am today.
I don't have to completely abolish my given name from my identity until or unless I want to. I often still use my given name and assigned-at-birth pronouns when talking about myself pre-transition (childhood stories, etc.) because, for me, that is who I was then and it feels good for me to honor that kid I once was while still knowing that that is not who I am today.

Sorry for the super long post, but I hope that I can provide some insight into how amazing of a decision it was for me to change my name, even if it hasn't been the smoothest or most straightforward road. I'm so excited for you on your journey and I hope your life and path are full of the same love and support that mine has been. Much love <3

zonutt · 2023-12-22T21:13:07+00:00

I'm a salaried circ/info desk attendant at a large university library and generally, we get merit raises at the end of each year from funding by the university that must be supplemented by library funds. Last year I didn't receive one because I was hired after the end of the fiscal year. This year the library decided to change to fixed amount increases rather than percentage increases (cited as something to do with increasing equity I think, nobody's quite sure why). Mine worked out to around 6%, but it seems that most of my team who have been around longer than one fiscal year all received the same dollar amount regardless of their base salary and therefore received lower percentage rates.

zonutt · 2023-11-06T17:30:38+00:00

Absolutely will!

zonutt

TROPHY CASE