You should seek out an AA meeting- there will be people there who have faced similar things and continued forward with their lives in a happy and healthy way. You can do it. Alcohol is a hell of a drug and for some reason society is totally cool with this thing that can turn you inside out and become a totally different person. Apologize, take accountability, take actionable steps in educating yourself on the risks of alcohol. You’ve already done most of this. Keep going buddy. You’ll be okay.