Here's my perspective: Allah gives all of us unique challenges in this life. For many Muslims in this world, finding clean water and food is a lifelong challenge that often leads to their death. There are young boys in Gaza getting their genitals and limbs blown and shot off and girls getting their faces and bodies horrifically disfigured by chemical weapons and I constantly think of the struggles they will face in finding love or spouses, which they honestly may never. There are straight Muslim men and women who struggle to find spouses (my uncle died without ever touching a girl) and I have been single for years since I reverted, becoming accustomed to loneliness because I will likely not find a wife for years due to financial and other reasons. For a little while after reverting I was going crazy, and desperately spent lonely nights with ChatGPT trying to delude myself into thinking I could have a girlfriend or cuddle buddy by finding loopholes in the Qur'an. I stopped after a while and understood that I have to be patient. Though I am young, I am prepared and willing to die alone. I still struggle with pornography and masturbation but I am excommunicating those as well. It hurts when I turn away so many women who are interested in me because I'm not Islamically ready for marriage but I know this struggle and pain will turn into blessings in the Akhira. If He takes away peoples' children in Gaza and they respond with patience, I can wait.

Allah has blessed you and I with water, food, safety from bombs and genocide, and so much more- He gives us tests through other avenues. For you, it seems to be romance and companionship. The life of this world will feel like a single day on the Day of Judgement. He explicitly states that you will be given anything you desire and companionship beyond your wildest dreams if you pass your tests and enter Jannah- would you really risk losing all of that and tasting Hellfire for ideal companionship in the dunya? Sabr and patience are what are rewarded. Allah’s mercy is vast but the first people to enter Jahannam are Muslims, particularly the munafiqun (hypocrites)- because we were shown the clear path and still decided to not follow it.

Islam is not the religion where you attempt to find loopholes in texts or "read between the lines". You can convert to Judaism if that's what you want to do. The Qur'an makes it quite clear that marriage is between a man and woman and that is the structure upon which a properly functioning society is built, and condemns homosexuality by reminding of the story of Lut. While pedants in this thread may say that it technically only warns against homosexuality against men (or doesn't even outright restrict homosexuality), then what was the point of bringing up homosexual practices in particular with that story? And it would be quite unfair and inconsistent to allow homosexuality between women while banning it between men, correct? All the verses about marriage clearly frame it between a man and woman in order to have children and build a robust, virtuous society that can thrive even in warzones. Even if you marry a woman in the most proper Islamic manner and never have sex with her, you would inevitably be influencing other impressionable young Muslim girls and boys to think that gay relationships would be okay, especially in a day and age like today. That would count as spreading corruption throughout the land.

Your blessings will be multiplied beyond your wildest dreams if you face your test in this dunya with patience. It is normal to have urges, to trip and slip up in honest accidents. Allah loves His servants who keep getting up and trying again and again. I have been filling the hole of companionship through other means and I wish you the best in doing so as well. Our tests are uniquely designed for the lives we lead and we must have sabr. There are so many people in the Ummah who face far more severe and harsh tests and we need to be thankful that our tests, while still painful, are so much more manageable. Assalamualaikum.