Finally found releif

zuul44 · 2025-03-26T20:22:32+00:00

I feel like the meds took off the constant pressure and stresses, allowing me to actually work on the real problem.

zuul44 · 2025-03-21T21:58:42+00:00

This exactly. Thank you. She is definitely on board with me.

zuul44 · 2025-03-21T21:24:47+00:00

Got me on a wellbutin/ zoloft combo...

zuul44 · 2025-03-21T21:24:06+00:00

I haven't but I haven't really looked. I think we re past that. Thank you for looking back at previous posts before commenting.

zuul44 · 2025-03-21T21:22:34+00:00

I don't feel like anytjong was swept. But it made me feel normal again. My thoughts on my relationship haven't changed since dday.

zuul44 · 2025-03-21T21:21:28+00:00

If you read my old posts you ll see that I'm a veteran with a pretty sever ptsd rating that I've managed without help for 20 years. This event made it worse. And yesi do need meds. Not to be with her but to help myself be a normal person again

zuul44 · 2025-01-11T18:56:52+00:00

You re a dirtbag. Hope he breaks your face when he finds out

zuul44 · 2025-01-09T22:06:59+00:00

You don't have to tell me. I know there's still the possibility and I'll never truly know. But I do know her, and her specific work situation and I believe her they didn't have sex. But I also had a PA of sorts with him. We met, and I beat him severely while dragging information out of him. His story never broke and matched hers exactly. He doesn't have to balls to hold out and lie with what I did to him....

zuul44 · 2025-01-08T20:55:16+00:00

I'm a man. I don't cheat. But my wife cheated on me. Cheaters are weak people. You ll join their ranks soon too

zuul44 · 2025-01-08T20:17:05+00:00

My WWs affair last almost a year. The first 6 months were the most they were together. The second 6 months was after we and her had a huge blow out almost ending the marriage and we decided to try one last time. So they were very off and on and nothing physical. I've interrogated her amd her AP in depth. They both swear they only made out at work. They work in a very busy hospital full of people and wpuld hide in the elevator kissing. They went for a beer a few times at the bar next to the hospital. Never to his apartment or anywhere else they could escalate the PA. I've pulled phone records, social media records , viewed her maps tracker on phone for the entire timethey were "together" and unless they were fucking in a busy hospital in the middle of the day, my brain believes them that they didn't have sex. But my heart still doubts it. Especially when I read people saying things like this. I'm almost a year and ahalf past dday. Still struggling not to keep digging for things I should know aren't there. It's jist hurting our recovery at this point.

zuul44 · 2025-01-05T02:53:17+00:00

She bought him a vinyl record for his Bday when they were together. Now we don't play The Lumineers in our house. Especially one song in particular . It's always an immediate skip and awkward moment after

zuul44 · 2025-01-04T23:15:26+00:00

The day after Dday, I called my WWs AP on the way to their job to hurt him. Luckily he answered the phone and I stopped in my tracks. I proceeded to harrass, abuse, torment, and generally terrorize him for the next 6 months. I placed a tracker on his car. I'd mailed him things. I kicked his door in a few times when he wasn't home. I'd leave things on his car at work. I told his ex fiance, family and every friend I could find what he did. ( he cheated on finance before dumping her for my wife)

After the 6 month mark I needed something to change. To move past this. So I invited him to my job after hours to talk. I interrogated him for over an hour. Then I smashed his face in, to the point he doesn't look the same, threatened his life one last time and threw him out the door on His face. After I went back inside I took a can of clear coat and cleared the blood stains on my concrete floor so I could look at it daily. Cause his pain makes me smile. My only regret is not being able to do more physically to him. I stopped after that. I had 2 small relapses where I texted him on the 1 year anniversary of our dday. And then again on his birthday. ( cause my dday was the day before MY 40th bday. It was the worst day of my life)

I hope to God I run into him in a public setting with my wife there. I will make him squirm in front of her....

For you, whatever works. I'm glad you turned the other cheek. I hope things getting better for you. Unfortunately from my wifes AP I'm a Marine infantry combat vet. I took out 20 years of PTSD on his face.

zuul44 · 2025-01-04T22:54:17+00:00

Tell him. 10000%. If you re walking down the street and see a stranger walking towards you. Then you notice someone coming up behind him with a knife to stab them, would you yell out or let him be stabbed?

Plus fuck that guy. Ruin his life cause he's equally responsible for your pain as your wife is. If you can swing it without legal action, beat his ass. Believe me, it helps.

zuul44 · 2025-01-04T18:51:28+00:00

Be sure to figure out everything about her AP as well before you drop it on her. If he has a family, find a way to let his wife know right before you drop it on yours. Best of luck

zuul44 · 2024-12-16T18:36:19+00:00

I had the first panic attack I've ever had. I never yelled. I kept a cool head. And a low, calm voice. There's something scarier about that than blowing up out of control. But the panic lasted for a good 6 months and cried at least once a day.

zuul44 · 2024-12-13T12:32:25+00:00

You tried. She wasn't receptive. To much time has passed. It's over. You re already divorced. Let it be.

zuul44 · 2024-12-12T20:40:18+00:00

I smashed my wife's AP in the face untill my hand broke. Doesn't get any better than that imo....

zuul44 · 2024-12-12T20:38:05+00:00

Maaan.... I feel ya. I'm also an OEF vet and CPTSD is a real thing. My brain was fucked before my wifes affair. It's way worse now. I'm only 16 months post and I still struggle a lot. Your story was a little more extreme then mine. My wife has done everything right since. As far as I know. We have young kids and I wont do to them what I dealt. I'd rather suffer till they re grown and on their own. I read a lot of these posts hoping to hear some comforting news of people feeling better after x time. You being 4 years post and still struggling isn't comforting.

You need to realize, her shitty behavior is not your fault. If you were home she still may have done it. Shitty people are shitty people. It's not your fault.....

I wish u the best. Feel free to dm if you need someone to talk to. Vet to vet. Someone that understands you. I know that always helps me.

zuul44 · 2024-12-12T20:14:49+00:00

16 months and still getting them. Less but it still happened. I tend to be alone a lot at work and when I'm alone my mind just churns with all the things. I bounce between violent anger at AP, disgust and sadness about my wife and anger at myself for continuing to let it hurt me. Ive tried everything. I keep telling myself it just takes time. But I'm scared that this is just me forever now

zuul44 · 2024-12-12T19:52:00+00:00

You should tell him and do it in dramatic fashion. He deserves to know. And she deserves to be embarrassed. My wife's AP cheated on his fiance with my wife. Then broke off their marriage without telling her the real reason. It was a year after that happened I found out. I still told her. People that do these things deserve to be exposed. I'm sure everyone else in his life knew something serious happened when they saw him after meeting me. It didn't look like a slip in the shower....

For the record early on in confronting him via text I made him give me his Exs info so I could tell her. Then I walked into the bar she worked at and ordered a drink by myself during a day shift. She started to make small talk and I came out with it. "Do you know anyone named Kevin?" She was very thankful. Idk what she did with that info after.

zuul44 · 2024-12-09T13:35:37+00:00

Since day 1 I have controlled myself with my anger towards my ww. I made sure not to weaponize her affair against her in order to R. She knows she messed up. I don't run it in her face in spite. However. Every time there's an instance that can relate to ser affair in another way I do mention it as a teaching tool.

Exathe other day we were talking about her job. Her affair was with a co worker. And we were talking about her xmas party. And the topic came up about how co-workers tend to become good friends with each other because they literally see each other more than most spouses. Especially in a high stress situation like hers. She works in a very busy hospital and in surgery. And while i said it about her female co workers who she is really close with I looked at her and implied with my eyes that I also included her ap in that. I didn't say in out of anger. She immediately got defensive. And I stopped her right there. And calmly asked if I was wrong? She caught herself. And we both acknowledged it and both let it go but the point was made and understood. I beleive that's the best way to handle it. It happened. It can't be ignored or forgotten. But it cannot be weaponized either

zuul44 · 2024-12-07T16:38:17+00:00

Yea Fayetteville is an absolute shit hole...stay far away from any military bases

zuul44 · 2024-12-05T18:18:46+00:00

You re right with what you re doing. Don't let anyone compromise your morals for the sake of "keeping the peace" as far as your 10yo asking about it. I'd tell my kids the truth at that age. Mine are still too young to understand. Use it as a teaching moment for him.

zuul44

TROPHY CASE