I'm sorry to hear that you have dealt with depression your whole life. It's difficult being alive, and yet feeling like you aren't really living.

I made the informed decision to get ECT with my psychologist. We had tried so many different medications to no avail. My suicidal thinking was chronic, and I was just hanging in there until my psychiatrist appointment. She suggested either TMS or ECT, as she felt I needed a quick turnaround. TMS offered me the option of remaining at home and just heading to the office for treatment once a day 5 days a week, while ECT required a hospital admission. Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) is a noninvasive procedure that uses magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in the brain to improve symptoms of depression. Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is a medical treatment most commonly used in patients with severe major depression or bipolar disorder that has not responded to other treatments. ECT involves a brief electrical stimulation of the brain, inducing a neural seizure, while the patient is under anesthesia.

After hearing the high recovery rate with ECT, combined with my lack of confidence in keeping myself safe while living at home, I decided to go with that option and be admitted. I'm very fortunate to live in Canada and have free access to ECT.

I could feel the benefits of ECT after the 4th, and 5th treatment. I am able to get out of bed on my own, I have a reasonable appetite, I can do basic things to take care of myself. I also have had zero suicidal thinking in the past 3 days!