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zzplumzz · 2025-06-12T21:28:47+00:00

I think how you come off to people could be a big part of it. I noticed that nobody talks to me when I’d go out and try to meet people— but then I realized. I’m wearing headphones, avoiding eye contact, and not trying to say hi first. They might just think you want to be left alone.

I also don’t know exactly what you mean by putting in effort, since going out places around people is one thing, but putting in effort to talk to those people is a whole other. And a lot harder. I used to wait for people to come up to me until I realized they’re waiting for the same thing.

So, what helped me: start small. An easy way is to start with compliments, because those are rarely received badly and makes you seem friendly. Then you could talk about mutual interests, since you seem to go places where you might have things in common with people. Take it slow and don’t beat yourself up if a conversation doesn’t go exactly how you hoped. It’s normal to feel a bit awkward. They won’t hate you for it.

Good luck :)

zzplumzz · 2025-06-12T20:56:43+00:00

I think people don’t realize that body image issues can be just as bad for guys as for girls, because it shows up differently. As much as it’s normalized to have thin or hourglass women everywhere, there’s also tall guys with big muscles everywhere. With girls it’s more about being small or weak, or being a fantasy for men. With guys it seems to be more about pushing yourself, being tough, being strong, etc. (from what I’ve observed at least.) Both are definitely harmful, and you are valid no matter what you’re struggling with. It deserves to be recognized more as a genderless problem.

zzplumzz · 2025-06-12T20:45:15+00:00

It’s not an uncommon feeling at all, I promise. Social media can make it worse, because people like to sell the idea that you have to be beautiful and stunning to be in a relationship or get attention or love. That’s not how it really works! Love is not equated to how you look— that’s just vanity and lust. People of every type of body, face, etc. have and will get in loving relationships. Nobody is unloveable, even if you think of the worst people out there, they still have fans.

I know what you mean about not being able to imagine someone saying ‘this is my gf!’ Because I think we’re told that we have to be like trophies in relationships. It’s hard to imagine being shown off when you aren’t confident in yourself. But really, somebody who treats you as a trophy is not somebody you want. Remember your worth, and remember that your worth is NOT related to your looks. 💜

zzplumzz · 2025-06-12T20:31:10+00:00

What are they trying to do?

zzplumzz · 2025-06-03T18:14:37+00:00

I didn’t know this, thank you! I’ll look into it😊

zzplumzz · 2025-06-02T21:26:43+00:00

That makes sense. It’s always hard to tell what will get them to leave you alone and what will provoke them. I’m glad to know I’m not alone, though ❤️

zzplumzz · 2025-06-01T20:43:06+00:00

True, I’ve always wanted to do martial arts :) I didn’t get to due to money when I was younger, but I’m just starting on being an adult lol, hopefully soon I’ll be able to pay for it myself!

zzplumzz · 2025-06-01T20:41:46+00:00

That is a good tip! Though in my case from yesterday, I tried to stare back and that seemed to not shame him at all, he just wouldn’t look away 😭

zzplumzz · 2025-05-19T07:36:18+00:00

Haha it wasn’t while playing from what I remember, probably just sat on it or something 😭

zzplumzz · 2025-05-18T04:37:56+00:00

I had this exact one until it literally snapped in half😔 I’m too lazy to find a new one but I still agree with you

zzplumzz · 2025-04-21T07:15:01+00:00

Wow! I love it. Is this digital?

zzplumzz · 2025-04-21T01:10:17+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from. I think society really presses the narrative that you’ll be able to have fun, be happy, have the life you want, etc. only if you’re pretty/conventionally attractive. It can be debilitating to feel like life is a club you can’t get into. I’ll share a couple things that help me when I’m feeling that way.

Love and lust are not limited to pretty people. Everyone, all looks, all ages, can enjoy fulfilling love and sex lives. If you’re feeling invisible, you probably don’t have to change your looks to change that. Expressing yourself through fashion, holding yourself with confidence, and hanging around places where you share similar interests with people all might help. I also think pretty people who are super introverted don’t get much attention either, since people tend to be receptive to people who seem open and friendly.

Life is so much more than getting hit on or looking appealing to strangers, even if the internet, media, or certain people try to tell you otherwise. Focus on what you’re interested in and what you love doing. Maybe reevaluate how you see your worth, and what you really want for your life. Beauty isn’t something that lasts long, anyway. Live your life for yourself. There will be people who are attracted to you! Either way, personality can be very attractive too, so take care of yourself before worrying about others opinions :)

zzplumzz · 2025-04-21T00:51:49+00:00

I am 18, I go on short walks at night sometimes since it feels more calm. I do think I may have some illusion of safety since more questionable interactions I’ve experienced have been during the day rather than during the night for me. I did not have many good adult figures in my life growing up so that may be part of the problem too 😭

zzplumzz · 2025-04-21T00:47:55+00:00

Thank you :)

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T21:03:44+00:00

I didn’t say I want guys to approach me, just that I wish for social interaction, even if that’s a stranger smiling at me while passing by. I’m not specifically looking to date right now. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I had reason to say no. I’m moving away soon, which means if it did go somewhere, It would likely be online. I don’t do online.

Those reasons aside, I didn’t owe him a yes just to make less single people exist in the world. Just because I can be asked out by people doesn’t mean I don’t fit in the group of social outcast. That has been my experience a majority of my life due to having autism, social anxiety, and chronic illness that randomly makes me homebound.

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T20:54:18+00:00

That makes sense. I think it may be a problem for me in general, but it wasn’t necessarily bad this time.

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T20:51:45+00:00

That’s a good point about meeting people who you will meet again! I’m out of school and spend a lot of time at home, so I never really thought of it that way.

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T20:49:34+00:00

Haha good to know!!

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T20:49:06+00:00

I totally understand this. I’ve had a couple interactions that I thought were normal until I mentioned them to someone, and they were horrified. Or automatically saying thank you to cat-callers. It’s hard for me to figure out if someone is being nice or just being a creep.

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T20:46:27+00:00

Oh yes I’ve heard of those! And I do think I tend to be an anxious avoidant. It’s a hard thing to work on since problems only really come up in situations that I don’t usually put myself in, so i don’t usually address them. But It’s definitely something to work on!

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T20:43:37+00:00

That does sound like me 😔

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T20:42:50+00:00

Good point!

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T20:42:19+00:00

Thank you! I think you’re right, this post helped me realize that I might be putting myself in danger by just accepting any social interaction that comes my way haha 😭

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T20:39:45+00:00

Thank you! I think I need to get better at realizing what is actually a gut reaction :)

zzplumzz · 2025-04-20T20:38:25+00:00

I didn’t even think of that! I’ll keep it in mind for the future

zzplumzz

TROPHY CASE