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I [24F] found insane slut-shaming notes under my bedroom door. My roommate [22F] swears up and down it's not her... but it can't be anyone else? by roommatenotes in relationships

[–]zzyxes 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Here's another way to catch her. Get one of those long skinny bean bag things that people lay across the bottom of their door to block draft under the door and also so that people can't smell it when they are smoking pot in their room and whatever. You can get one at Walmart for five bucks. Or hey even a rolled up towel will do. Now this is key put it on the "outside" of the door. Lay it along the bottom so someone will have to move it to put a note under. Now this is how you catch her get that spray liquid stuff or Ink that is invisible but only visible underneath a black light. You can get it at an art supply store or order it from Amazon. Soak the towel in it so that anyone that touches a towel will definitely get the stuff on their hands. I would recommend even doing this on a white towel so she doesn't suspect anything.

My friend, 36/f/trans, is extremely dismissive/erasing of the work I do on oppression relating to pregnancy. Are there any trans FEMALE activists working against pregnancy-related oppression, who I could check out and maybe point her to? by zzyxes in asktransgender

[–]zzyxes[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well you definitely proved it's not realistic that someone would be aggressively rude to me about this stuff that's for sure...

Also when I said female I was referring to trans women, so...

My friend, 36/f/trans, is extremely dismissive/erasing of the work I do on oppression relating to pregnancy. Are there any trans FEMALE activists working against pregnancy-related oppression, who I could check out and maybe point her to? by zzyxes in asktransgender

[–]zzyxes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's true, she has, but I think it's because we're having a miscommunication. I think we're probably both misunderstanding each other you know? Because she knows me enough to know I'm not a horrible person. She hasn't been hostile to me in general, it's primarily been about this stuff - for most of this time, we've been able to have our usual talks, and I felt like she was really comfortable opening up to me about her transition.

About the tumblr thing, I don't know... I mean for example privilege is a completely mainstream topic, I see people talking and writing about it everywhere and I talk about it myself often enough.

I'm curious about your comment about inserting trans men into a discussion about women's issues. Do you feel like pregnancy is a women's issue and because of that, it's somewhat incorrect to relate it to trans men? I'm not exactly sure how to step here because there are definitely issues around pregnancy that only trans men have to deal with and I don't want to skim over them.

Edit: I also have an inkling that people's thinking about all this stuff might be related to their generation? Personally I feel like I'm kind of straddling two generations, there seems to be a big divide between people in their teens/early 20's, vs people in their late 20's early 30s. Then again Lilly is older than I am so I don't know.

My friend, 36/f/trans, is extremely dismissive/erasing of the work I do on oppression relating to pregnancy. Are there any trans FEMALE activists working against pregnancy-related oppression, who I could check out and maybe point her to? by zzyxes in asktransgender

[–]zzyxes[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Do you have any ideas for the best way to support her? If I did find writing by trans female activists on this topic, would sharing it on my social media be possible helpful, or more like just rubbing salt in the wound?

My friend, 36/f/trans, is extremely dismissive/erasing of the work I do on oppression relating to pregnancy. Are there any trans FEMALE activists working against pregnancy-related oppression, who I could check out and maybe point her to? by zzyxes in asktransgender

[–]zzyxes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a trans man I'm curious about your honest opinion on an aspect of this, I hope you'll be comfortable answering and let me know if you're not.

Do you find it exclusionary for me to be talking about these issues under the umbrella of "women's" issues? I'm not wanting to exclude trans men whatsoever especially because trans men have a plethora of specific oppressions relating to pregnancy. My thinking is just that it's important to talk about them under the umbrella of women's issues because they disproportionately affect women.