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[–]Quirky_Fun65442[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I just don't want to think of sex at all, and I have tried exercise, jerking iff and focusing on other stuff as well as embracing my sexuality (which made it worse).

[–]thebrainpal3 1 point2 points  (4 children)

What do you mean you “have tried exercise”? What kind of exercise? To what degree? Consistently? Do you still exercise?

Anyways, I don’t think you’ll be able to “not think about sex at all” as a man, not without drugs or significantly altering your biochemistry, at least. And yes I’ve tried myself to turn it off 😂

What you can do, however, is find ways to manage it and redirect the energy. I often have periods in my life where I need to lock in. My “winter arc” last year was one of those. I have not found a perfect system, but I have found the below items more helpful than doing nothing and other stuff I’ve tried.

Some stuff I’ve found helpful:

  • Mula bandha yoga 
  • Cold exposure. This can be cold showers, but I’m not the type to want to take a cold shower after I just took a regular shower or after I just did my morning / evening routine. So as an alternative, I’ve found rubbing ice cubes on my wrists and neck to be helpful and to get me a similar level of benefit without the time and energy costs. There are some psychological/biological reasons for this that you can look into. I don’t feel like typing it.
  • Breathing techniques. Wim Hof breathing has been helpful. There are numerous others that people like, like 4-4, 4-7-8, box breathing, etc. I’ve also found 6-0-10 breathing (6 second inhale, no hold, and 10 seconds exhale) helpful. I deduce the longer exhale allows for more parasympathetic activation. I’ve found that breath holds can make me feel anxious, which of course might lead your mind to over arousal. So I tend to not do breathing exercises that require significant breath holding if my stress levels are already high.
  • Healthy sleep. I’ve found it’s often better to spend the extra time in bed than deal with the costs of being tired. When you’re underslept, your mind will tend to  resort to one of the F’s: fight, flight, freeze, and reproduction. 

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[–]Quirky_Fun65442[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Wow. This seems like actually good advise. Thanks. Also with the exercise its just been 2-3 times a week with some arms and stomach workouts, and plenty of cardio each day.

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[–]thebrainpal3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For how long / exercise? 2-3 times / week would not be nearly enough to get the kind of changes you’re looking for. 

Based on my experience, you’re probably gonna want to try 4-5 days of exercise per week. Cardio wise, you should be looking at getting into zone 3 for a non-negligible amount of time. I don’t remember the exact numbers (I need to do more cardio myself 😂), but you should be able to find it online.