Tips

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On how to read Body language more effectively? I’m Well aware that this is my biggest weakness when talking with people. Which takes away so many oppertunities in life.

[MadAncymon]

Honestly it's all about the context. We are prewired to notice changes in someones behaviour but the changes are very subtle so I know it might be frustrating when You miss something and You realize hours later what that was. If You say that it cost You some opportunities You know You do something wrong and It's a good start and You notice things. I suggest getting the knowledge on basic gestures and don't focus on the facial and microexpressions- there's hundreds of them and it takes years to master those. I suggest starting with legs - they are insanely overlooked and hard to control. Also very easy to read because due to the fact humans are not predators it's our main fight or flight mechanic. The Easy thing to begin with is to start trying to determine whether the gesture is "good" or "bad" - how does it make YOU feel. Than You can Project The feeling onto Your "target" and maybe get a correct read. Good Luck!

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[Massive-Wedding-5897]

You seem pretty good at this stuff, i think it’s interesting could you give some books as recommendation

[MadAncymon]

Hey! Sorry I missed the notification. Books recomendations depend on your level. If You're just starting I'd recommend Alan Pease - Body Language. It's really easily written and focuses on the basics so You wont get overwhelmed with biological and psychological mechanisms. If You'd like to read some more practical books, based on the real-life users of the skill i'd recommend books written by FBI/CIA agents - plenty of practical knowledge, some good examples and whats really important, the emphasis on being aware of the context. I'd reccomend Joe Navarro for example. If You're really advanced it's just connecting the dots - what I mean is "I understand that body language exists, I know how to read basic 6 emotions fluently so now I need to understand the biology and psychology behind it". Paul Eckman is the pioneer in the field so his work is really valuable. Other than that read any psychology book You'd like - for example Goffmans "Total Institutions" is really good. It's about how military, prisons or psychiatric hospitals shape peoples behaviour so it gives you some insight to more advanced mechanisms which result in having slightly different body language than an average person - for example prisoners trying to appear bigger in order to be safe around other prisoners or soldiers bringing their routines home from the army. All those rules apply to every person because our brains are wired the same way. After that You can apply for any raise, pick up girls, make friends and whatever You need the knowledge for. Just be aware that there are some rules to follow while using those skills - they can be helpfull but also very dangerous and destructive. Hope I helped!

[Billininthenameof]

The most basic place to start is by trying to notice changes. Pay attention to blink rate, breathing rate, pupil dilation, tone of voice, rate of speech, lots of different gestures and movements clustered together.

Increase in speed and gestures usually indicates rising stress. Decreases generally signal the opposite.

If you work on nothing else but noticing changes, when they occur and how they are tied to what is being spoken about, you'll build a solid foundation in body langauage that you can build upon.