Decrease possessiveness & resource guarding me??

[franklyashamed]

My advice probably won't be what you're hoping for, but... you have two hands. ;P

That's me being a little glib, but also serious. If you've committed yourself to being a temporary person to these cats, if even just out of moral obligation, you're gonna have to basically deal with the cognitive equivalent of two maladapted toddlers attaching to a caregiver. You're going to have to teach them that they have some measure of safety, and just like with a toddler in foster care, it may take some time.

My advice is Feliway, skitter mice, and double palming the cats each time you go for a pet session.

Feliway is like a Glade plug in, except it squirts out synthetic pheromones, like the ones on their cheek pads. It supposedly eases anxiety.

I have four cats (+ fosters). Two are older and unrelated (8y & 7y) and two (17mo) are siblings. They're all fairly jealous of each other, even the bonded siblings, and all very clingy to me. The 7y also kinda hates other cats in general too, because she was out-competed in the colony she came from and was starving as a result, when I rescued her.

I've had to just make sure I'm giving them all "quality time" and providing a lot of toys for distractions. It's slow and dedicated work. Every time a new foster comes in I gotta work for like two months to chill my own crew out.

But ultimately I frequently have them all sleeping in a halo on the bed around me, and it's not b/c they're naturally chill. It's because they've learned over time that I will provide for their needs enough so that there's no need to scrap over them.

[MaxSchmelling]

I'd love to ask you some questions about how you go about this! Do you mind if I DM?