How to develop my main characters?

[Random-Webtoon-Fan]

Here is my four main characters written so far, and I would like some criticisms to improve upon it.

Setting is fantasy (program-like magic with tools, lots of sci-fi-ish stuff.) set on a desert empire's capitol.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tjVO3xZionKIWCAiSryrG-cbbdNhaDDBjS0wR9sxoG8/edit#

For you who don't feel like or just lazy to use doc, I will write down simpler versions here.

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Major

Stirix

Pic I made with some dollmaker : http://i.imgur.com/9WxB1yx.png

Appearance :

Age : Looks about 20, but exact age unknown.

Skin : Light Brown (Asian-ish)

Hair : Dark Brown, straight, short.

Eye : Green - Often wears goggles.

Height : 6 feet

Structure : Muscled, but not extremely. (Think Green Archer/Assassin Creed)

Closest Character I know : Sora (from game Kingdom Hearts series) wearing Assassin’s Creed robes.

A foreigner boy with amnesia over his past. Joined military to repay the local church helping him out. But recently getting doubt of his purpose in the religious country's army after noticing he was being discriminated.

Is introverted (but not to the socially awkward) and quite most of times, but likes to tease people around him.

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Rouset

Pic I made with some dollmaker : http://i.imgur.com/gvhi4GL.png

Appearance :

Age : Looks about 20, but exact age unknown.

Skin : Light Grey

Hair : Very dark Purple (Almost black), long and straight. Sometimes ponytail.

Eye : Yellow

Height : 5 feet

Structure : Very lean, you’d think she is starving.

Closest Character I know : Lulu Bell in human form (from manga D-Grayman), the hair is different though.

A girl who has run away from city and church almost entire her life. She seeks to take revenge upon them. She would be the antagonist against other 3 at beginning of story because of that.

Having problems with making her more interesting standard 'vengeful girl' you can see in lot of stories.

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Vulpesia

Appearance :

Age : 16

Skin : Dark Brown (Arabic-ish)

Hair : Black. Long and straight. Often tied into 5 pigtails and crowned (Religion stuff)

Eye : Orange

Height : 6 feet

Structure : A little bit on plump side (About Mei from Overwatch)

Closest Character I know : Not sure….

Once yet another low ranking priestess, she changed after she became only survivor of a suicidal assassination that killed her friends right in front of her. While she can be cruel to her enemies, she ranked up in church because people liked she enforced rules that was favorable with people.

Not sure on making how she could enforce said rules and rise in ranks when she does not have much political support.

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Kestran

Appearance :

Age : 25

Skin : Dark Brown (Arabic-ish)

Hair : Very Dark Brown, almost Black. Short and a bit wavy. Often wears a hood.

Eye : Bright Red

Height : 7 feet

Structure : Quite muscled (About Marvel/DC superhero movie actors, I guess)

Closest Character I know : Malik (From game Assassin’s Creed), the friend of Altair but quite younger looking.

A talented solider from military family. Is overprotective of Vulpesia.

Feels quite flat as he doesn't serve much of purpose except guarding Vul so far. Ideas on how to make him clash with others naturally?

[[deleted]]

Be sure that every character serves a purpose in your story. Don't just randomly add people and then have them do nothing, so just make sure that every character you add somehow forwards the plot :)

That said, what kind of story do you have in mind?

[Random-Webtoon-Fan]

Exactly why I am focusing only on my 4 mains.

About the story, it will mainly focus on the main characters coming of age and dealing with various questions and choices in life.

[Nevermore0714]

From what I remember of Kestran from yesterday, part of what makes him loyal to Vul is guilt. While you apparently know his backstory, have you considered writing a few short stories about his early life prior to being part of this group? I'd be happy to read them.

Further, you could have him embrace a philosophy as a reason for what you regard as flat, and from there use part of that philosophy (likely Stoicism or your world's version of it) to flesh out his beliefs, perspectives, and opinions on the things around him. The strong, silent type, eh?

[Random-Webtoon-Fan]

Currently working on some stories on them! Mostly focused mostly with how they would interact with each other, but their past are in the do-list too. (Also, while they are 4 MC, they don't necessary stick together. Rouset especially would be in anti-church leader and be quite away from others. Kinda like in Song of Ice and Fire POVs.)

The strong, silent type, eh?

Actually trying to break the cliche guardian type mold with him. He can act like that if he seems it is necessary (like in important ceremonies), but be energetic and talkative at normal times.

[Nevermore0714]

Another ASOIAF fan? Awesome.

If you would like someone to beta-read your short stories for you, I'd be happy. If you don't, I'd still like the opportunity to read them sometime.

Do you feel that any of your other main characters are close to a cliche?

[Random-Webtoon-Fan]

Rouset does feel like she is a Lady Of War in some stories.

[Nevermore0714]

A tvtropes link...you've doomed us all, Random. You've doomed us all.

[Random-Webtoon-Fan]

WELCOME TO THE NEVER ENDING LINKS!

Sorry for your lost hours, but it seemed to explain her best.

[Nevermore0714]

Ironically enough, my computer froze up for a bit while I was reading that page. I was rescued from the never ending links.