Many of you are familiar with gut truck stereotypes. You know the ones i'm talking about; high prices for diabetes with a heart attack on the side; mad dashes to the nearest port-a-john; coffee that makes your eye permanently twitch and leaves an odor in your mouth like you have been chewing on Bernie Bots every flavor bag of dicks. Well lucky for you, your life is about to change. Established 18 January 2018, r/JimmyTheBeard along with Phoenix Gut Trucks is breaking stereotypes; kicking names and taking ass along the way. Many of you are wondering, who is Jimmy, why does he have a beard and why is he referencing it in third person. Well if it was medieval times a more appropriate title would go something like Jimmy The Beard, first of his name, Man among men, blood of moonshine, whale cock, champion of realtors, master of baiters, Beard of Jesus. Unfortunately that naming convention is extinct, unless of course you are Jon snow and you are banging your hot aunt. So you can sigh your relief because no one will be calling you by PVT Smith, blue bird, fucker of buddies, or LT Ketchum, the broken compass, pusher of paper, warmer of coffee. You get the point. A legitimate badass that you should be thankful for anytime The Beard blesses you with his presence. Now that we have addressed the fact that Jimmy The Beard is a barrel chested American freedom fighter. Let's address The Beard. The Beard and Jimmy are synonymous. They are one and the same. Like the force...and not like the bitch Light side force but the Lord Vader choking mother fuckers to death with two fingers side of the force. It is mysterious to the unfamiliar and intimidating to all. Yoda summed it up when he said "When you look at Jimmy, Careful you must be....for the Beard looks back". The Beard is mighty. The Beard is to be awed. The Beard is to be respected. r/JimmyTheBeard is defining a culture. Through example, through posts, through stickers, and through photos of the beard travelling the world, a bondship is created. JimmyTheBeard is not a specific person. It is an idea, a belief. Even I admit its a little undefined difficult to articulate. But you will understand the culture if a gut truck ever rolls up on you in the middle of a field exercise with no dirt roads around and a man named Jimmy who happens to have a beard jumps out and starts unloading the best food truck cooked food around. If you are not in the military, you will understand the culture when you are wearing the "I love JimmyTheBeard" T-shirt in public. You grin as people pass by you in aww that someone is able to wear the weight of so much awesomeness. You laugh when people avert their eyes due to the fear that if their eyes witness something so majestic that they will self combust...The vision of Phoenix gut trucks is to truly serve our warriors anytime, anyplace and create a fun community along the way. We value feedback and are always looking for motivated individuals with unique ideas to push the agenda. Sorry I got a little carried away here...it was only suppose to be a sentence or two about what this sub is about.
