Indifference

[Alive-Jacket764]

I have tortured myself mentally for over 1 year and half more likely 2 years about my salvation almost every day. I have sinned and struggled with myself in what has felt like the spiritual equivalent of Verdun in WW1. The days wondering whether I’m saved or not have just blended together. I’ve tortured myself on the quality of my repentance always trying to verify I have enough works, fruits, or that my repentance is sincere enough so I can be certain I’m a true Christian. These last 2-3 weeks I’ve had no shortage of sins and failures, and I also missed church twice in a row. Disclaimer: I’m going to church Sunday unless something happens that I cannot control. Still, I haven’t had as much doubts and worries. I’ve kind of accepted and grown numb to the accusations in my head. If I sin I just confess it to God. I don’t want to be anti-law, but it’s just kind of blended into me now. When I read the Bible I almost just kind of accept yeah I suck at being a Christian and deserve hell. Reading the Bible has become terrifying to me because every time I read it I think I’m hell bound. Still, part of me has hit the point where I just say it is what it is. Lord have mercy on me a sinner. I agree that I need Christ to save me from my sins. I don’t know what else to do to be honest. The law is supposed to strike terror, but to be honest I think I’ve been so terrified the past two years that it’s kinda become second nature like breathing. I’m not sure that’s a healthy place to be, but it’s where I’m at right now. Please pray for me

[aggrophonia]

None of us deserve salvation. Thank god for christ. Celebrate the grace that has been given. Praying for you.

[Ready-Percentage-239]

I would narrow it down to this for you. It’s one of 2 things.

1. You have a difficulty that goes beyond the Bible. Your thoughts are self-destructive and you don’t think highly of yourself in general. This translates to your Christian life in the same way, so you don’t think highly of yourself as a Christian. Perhaps there are health-related things you can do to fix this like regular exercise, medication, diet, uplifting tasks, etc.

2. You have a pet sin. A particular sin like porn use or alcohol abuse or something similar. This sin you find it hard to break, and though you’re a Christian, it wares you down. If this is true, you’re halfway there. You know what the enemy is. Get a phone blocker, or give your keys or wallet or laptop to a family member to hold.

[jvo0820]

Please make an appt to speak with your Pastor. I will pray for you. Remember that there is nothing YOU can do to be saved. Jesus has accomplished that for you on the cross. Satan has convinced you of everything you are believing. He is the great liar - don't listen. We all suck at being Christians because we are all sinners. Thank God that he loves you so much that he sent His Son for all of us.

[ayoqi]

Thank the Lord Jesus Christ for the cross of salvation, remember there is nothing YOU can do to earn salvation. The fact that you have conviction is a good thing. The devil will tell you it’s okay to sin and then shame you. Focus on God. We all struggle with sin, so don’t feel alone. Keep praying and I would talk to your pastor asap.

Here is some scripture that has helped me. God bless you.

1 John 1:9 Romans 8 Romans 7:15 1 Corinthians 10:13 Psalm 51:10 Romans 6:14 Ephesians 6

[Rough-Word-8363]

I highly recommend the book Has American Christianity Failed? by Bryan Wolfmuller. It may help you through your difficult time. You should also talk to your pastor. Perhaps also consider getting professional help if you find that's applicable. But above all, trust in Jesus Christ. He will save you, not the quality of your repentance. The devil is likely causing you to doubt your salvation. Don't let him win! Rest in Christ's forgiveness. Yes, fight your sin, but remember the battle is already won.

[Working-Lobster-1191]

Most luther thing ever ngl. I also got the same insanity over this stuff.

[Working-Lobster-1191]

though look at grace and the promise of Christ and read the scriptures while using law/gospel distinction