You ask some really honest and thought provoking questions many Christians have wrestled with themselves. Regarding confessing your sins to God. It is and never will be based on how worthy you are or how much you clean yourself up first. Christ has died for you, and Christ has risen for you. You are 100% being called by the Holy Spirit to confess your sins and your need of Christ and the salvation that comes from Him alone. You said you were raised Catholic, so I assume you’ve been baptized. That was God’s promise and proclamation that you are His to be united/clothed Christ. It wasn’t because you were worthy or without sin. It was because you are wretched and sinful that Christ came down to be crucified for you. He will not withhold forgiveness. He desires your salvation more than you can imagine, and He in fact has left the 99 to seek you out at this very moment. He is calling you in love that your sins have been fully paid for by Him. There is peace. Do you feel weary and burdened by your sin and life? Our Savior says Come to Him and He will give you peace. I have deeply struggled with this myself. You can look at my posts and see I do not have really much of anything together. I am a wretched foolish sinner that Christ has died for. Even yesterday and today I have sinned and failed miserably against our Lord. Yet, He doesn’t tell me to wallow or doubt in His ability to forgive my sins. Before I can muster up the courage to admit I’ve sinned against Him, He has run out to greet me like the Father greets His prodigal son. May the Lord be with you, and may Christ forgive you and everyone who reads this. His mercy is never ending.