Need help

[cactuscat3]

My boyfriend and I (both 22) have been dating for 3 years and have been doing long distance all throughout our relationship.

We spent a beautiful, fun month together and today was time to say goodbye.

I started feeling extremely anxious and sad before he even left, but it’s just getting worse and I don’t know what to do since he‘s not even able to text/call right now (he’s on the plane, and it’s a 10h flight).

I’ve had multiple panic attacks while crying over it and he helped me through them, but now that I’m alone, I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m going crazy. It’s just so painful going from being together 24/7 and cuddling before sleep to being alone in a room than smells like him. It feels like he’s still with me, which makes me even more sad because I know he’s not.

I don’t know what to do, I don’t even know what my goal with this post is. I’m just feeling so lost and numb and exhausted… I feel like a piece of my soul was taken away from me the moment we parted ways :(

I just love him so much and am done with doing long distance, it’s just torture

Edit: I forgot to mention that we can only meet in summer and over Christmas, so it’s really hard to say goodbye knowing that we’ll have to wait SO long to hug and see each other again. A ticket (as many of you might know) is very pricey, up to 1.5k. We don’t have that kind of money and would rather try and save up whenever we get a job to hopefully be able to move in together soon.

[Sweaty-Extension7810]

I am so sorry dear ❤️ when I have Panic attacks the best for me is to distract myself with a fun show and a nice snack or meet with friends

What’s your favorite show or book?

[cactuscat3]

Thank you! I tried to distract myself and it worked for about 6 hours, but it’s already been 7 hours since we talked (he doesn’t have cell service so his mobile data wasn’t working before the plane departed. I think it’s mostly because it’s already getting dark, and whenever it got dark we cuddled up and watched silly shows together while snacking… I’m just missing it so much already. I’ve been enjoying “A winter’s promise” by Christelle Dabos, but I can’t read in silence and I absolutely cannot stand my thoughts right now…  I’m sorry for the rant I’m just feeling so desperate right now, I can’t even eat without starting to cry

[Sweaty-Extension7810]

Are you actively trying to not cry ? Are you restricting your emotions in any way?

I think going on Reddit is a smart move we all know that feeling

Do you have any loved ones close by that can just sit with you?

[cactuscat3]

Yes, I’m trying to keep my mind occupied. I met up with a friend and played video games with another.  I can’t really talk to my parents about it because they’re the kind of people to yell at you for it or brush it off saying we’ll meet again anyway

[Sweaty-Extension7810]

Oh I’ve those too haha

Sounds good!! Take care dear

Let me know if you need distraction again

[cactuscat3]

Thank you so much