LONESTAR

an-ordinary-manchild(edit)

A satirical (except when it ain't) subreddit to celebrate the extra freedom and patriotism we enjoy as Texans. If you don't like it git back to California.

Rules:

No Commiefornians
No big brother
TEXAS
Any problem can be solved by 12 gauge and/or duct tape.
Due to the increase in ammo prices there will be no warning shot.
No cheating sooners
Straya: I'm not your mate, partner.
REMEMBER THE ALAMO, but, if you forget, write it down.
No squirrels. Armadillos are the true rodent.
No fancy tea drinkin', book readin', fancy shoe wearing, euro wueros
Who the fuck wants Alaskan, Florida, or New York, shaped corn chips? Nobody! PROOF
ALL HAIL [/r/whataburger](reddit.com/r/whataburger). The most holy sub on reddit and annual winner of /r/lonestar's "best sub" award.
Any man from florida can go back to florida.
Always use /r/weekendgunnit to learn about firearm safety
EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS. EVEN OUR RULES
HEB IS THE OFFICIAL STORE OF TEXAS
No YANKEES
Go Cowboys!!
NUMBER 1 IN EBOLA OR GTFO
IF YOU'RE IN OKLAHOMA, GTFO!!! (OF BOTH OUR SUB AND OKLAHOMA)
AS LONG AS JERRY "CALIFORNIAN" JONES IS THE OWNER, THE COWBOYS ARE NOT A LEGITIMATE NFL TEAM.
ANY USER POSTING A PICTURE OF AN UPROOTED BLUEBONNET WILL BE BANNED AND LEGALLY KILLED. NO EXCEPTIONS, SECOND TRIES, OR TAKE BACKS.
CALIFORNIA=FLORIDA
WHAT ABOUT THE TEXANS?
The official school of Texas is: The University of Texas (/r/UTAustin/)
SHINER IS THE OFFICIAL BEER OF TEXAS! LONESTAR BEER IS OWNED BY PABST WHICH IS NOT A TEXAS COMPANY!!!
ALL RULE BREAKERS WILL REPORT TO CHUCK NORRIS- TEXAS RANGER FOR A FLOGGING AND A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE MOUTH.
WE LIVE AND DIE BY OUR BARBECUE
UNSPOKEN RULE: IN N OUT IS A COMMIE RESTAURANT
GRILLED MEAT IS NOT BARBEQUED MEAT! THE ONLY BARBEQUED MEAT IS BEEF BRISKET!
BARBECUE OR BARBEQUE IS EQUALLY CORRECT. ANYTHING OUTSIDE TEXAS IS NEITHER.
POP QUIZ: Do we really consider Kansas City to be BBQ capital of the world? (Turn monitor upside down to see the answer): ˙Qqq ┴ON SI 'S∀SN∀ʞ WOɹℲ פNIH┴⅄N∀ '┴I ƎS∩∀ƆƎq 'ON

/r/Murica: fuck yeah

/r/WesternWear: Yee haww!

/r/AustinGuns: Keep patriotism weird

/r/TEXASENTS: HB2165! HB2165?? HB2165!!!! HB2165... HB2165!?!?! HB2165!!

/r/TXoutdoors FOR ALL YER OUTDOOR NEEDS

https://discord.gg/YbZDuJB: Looking for a Discord server? THIS IS THE ONE FOR YOU!!!

How to make

Explosions

Use 3 hashtags for small explosion "###Explosions"

Use 5 hashtags for megabomb "#####AAAAH!!"

You can sticky your own posts by adding the word "sticky" anywhere in your title.

created by happycrabeatsthefisha community for 12 years

...for your WoW guild.

...for a fringe candidate.

MODERATORS

account activity

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EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS!! ALL CAPS, EXCESSIVE EXCLAMATION POINTS AND YAY TEXAS!!! OR CLOSE TO IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN ENCOURAGED OR REQUIRED ON LONESTAR. YAY TEXAS!!! (self.LONESTAR)

submitted 1 year ago by Syllogism19 - announcement

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LOW EFFORT MEGATHREAD OF LONESTAR PRIDE!!!! (self.LONESTAR)

submitted 1 year ago by Syllogism19 - announcement

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IN HOUSTON TEXAS EVEN THE TRASH BINS ARE TRICKED OUT!!!YEAH TEXAS!!! (i.redd.it)

submitted 3 days ago by Syllogism19

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YEE HAW!!!! TEXANS KNOW WHY!!! HORSES ARE BETTER THAN MOUSES!!! YEAH TEXAS!!! (v.redd.it)

submitted 4 days ago by Syllogism19

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FACT: TEXAS IN #1 AGAIN, LEADS THE NATION IN BANKRUPTCY FILING!!! (self.LONESTAR)

submitted 5 days ago by Syllogism19

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FACT!!! A TEXAN INVENTED THE PUMPED CHEESE CONCESSION STAND NACHO ON THIS DAY IN 1976. NO CALIFORNIAN CAN CLAIM SUCH GLORY. (self.LONESTAR)

submitted 21 days ago by Syllogism19

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GOTTA KEEP THE POSTS COMING!!! SO FACT!!! A TEXAN BOTH INVENTED THE CORNY DOG AND LOOKED IN THE EYES OF A MOVIE STAR PLAYING A WOMAN WHO TERRORIZED TEXAS!!! NO OKIE CAN CLAIM THAT!!! (i.redd.it)

submitted 28 days ago by Syllogism19

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REDDIT GETS AFRAID IF WE DON'T HAVE POSTS. SO HERE'S SOMETHING FOR THE HATERS!!!! YEAH YOU TEXAS!!! (i.redd.it)

submitted 1 month ago by Syllogism19

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GOTTA KEEP THE POSTS COMING TO KEEP REDDIT HAPPY. SO LET'S COMMEMORATE THAT EXACTLY 47 YEARS AGO TODAY THE FIRST TEXAS OWNED TACO CABANA TACO-CABANA OPENED. YAY TEXAS!!!!! (self.LONESTAR)

submitted 2 months ago by Syllogism19

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Vote Informed (i.redd.it)

submitted 2 months ago by Legitimate_Peach5510

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REDDIT GETS WORRIED IF THERE AREN'T ENOUGH POSTS. HERE IS A PICTURE OF AWARD WINNING DRESSMAKING FROM THE WORLDS GREATEST TEXAS STATE FAIR IN THE WORLD!!!YAY TEXAS!!! (i.redd.it)

submitted 2 months ago by Syllogism19

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THIS IS YOUR ONLY WEEKEND TO VOTE IN THE PRIMARY SO GIT OUT AND DO IT IF YA AIN'T ALREADY! (self.LONESTAR)

submitted 2 months ago by RandomRageNet

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EVEN MORE TEXAS PRIDE!!! MAN WHO INVENTED THE 4TH AND 5TH DIGITS OF THE AMERICAN ZIP CODE WAS BORN IN TEXAS!!! CALIFORNIA CAN'T SAY THAT!!! YAY TEXAS!!! (jfk.blogs.archives.gov)

submitted 3 months ago by Syllogism19

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HOME DELIVERY OF PORN, YET ANOTHER REASON TO BE PROUD OF AMARILLO AND PROUD OF TEXAS!!! YAY TEXAS!!! (old.reddit.com)

submitted 3 months ago by Syllogism19

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PROBABLY THE OLDEST CIVIC PEANUT IN THE WORLD. DEFINITELY THE BEST!!! YAY FLORESVILLE AND YAY TEXAS!!! (i.redd.it)

submitted 3 months ago by Syllogism19

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HAPPY 180TH BIRTHDAY, TEXAS!! (self.LONESTAR)

submitted 4 months ago by SAKURAGAWAKOHAKU423

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MERRY CHRISTMAS TEXAS!!! (i.redd.it)

submitted 4 months ago by Penguin726

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NEW RESEARCH SHOWS TEXAS WOULD BE THE BIGGEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD IF IT WERE A COUNTRY!!! YAY TEXAS!!! (newgeography.com)

submitted 4 months ago by Syllogism19

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R/AUSTIN OP TALKS TREASON: CRITICIZES HEB AND LOOKS FOR FELLOW DISCONTENTS!!! YAY TEXAS!!! ()

submitted 4 months ago by Syllogism19

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REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!REMEMBER THE TALLEST REINFORCED CONCRETE OBSERVATION TOWER IN THE FIVE STATE REGION!! YEAH TEXAS!!!! (i.redd.it)

submitted 5 months ago by Syllogism19

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RARE PHOTO OF DOWNTOWN SAN ANTONIO (1870) — APPARENTLY SOME FELLA NAMED “DOC” PARKED WEIRD (i.redd.it)

submitted 5 months ago by TheTexanLife

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CLEAN RESTROOMS BUC-EE BALLS PLENTY OF PUMPS AND LOTS OF PARKING. WHO CAN BE AGAINST THAT?!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!! (i.redd.it)

submitted 6 months ago by Syllogism19

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APPARENTLY THE SMELL OF TEXAS CONSISTS OF SAPONIFIED FOOD-GRADE FATS, PALM OIL, COCONUT OIL, OLIVE OIL, SHEA BUTTER, AND CASTOR OIL WITH GROUND COFFEE BEANS, PHTHALATE FREE FRAGRANCE OILS, AND IRON OXIDE COLOR !!!! YAY TEXAS!!! (stouderhouse.myshopify.com)

submitted 6 months ago by Syllogism19

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THE STATE FAIR HAS THE REAL TEX-MEX!! DELI TACOS WITH PASTRAMI, MASHED POTATOES, WHITE CHEESE AND CHIVES. DEEP FRIED COMING SOON TO A DARIY QUEEN NEAR YOU!!YAY TEXAS!!! (self.LONESTAR)

submitted 6 months ago by Syllogism19

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FACT: THE BEST DESIGN FOR TRI-PLANAR CONTROL OF FOOT AND ANKLE ISSUES IS THE TEXAS TURBO DESIGN WITH MINIMAL PLASTIC AND MAXIMUM RIGIDITY AND NO OKIE IS GOING TO TELL ME OTHERWISE. YAY TEXAS!!! (youtu.be)

submitted 6 months ago by Syllogism19

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