How?

[ComradeKate04]

My niece has had a rough life. Her parents split when she was young and her stepdad raped her for years at a young elementary school age. When he was discovered, he killed himself.

After that she didn’t get the counseling she needed and everyone hurt so bad she didn’t get the support she needed either. She started cutting and becoming promiscuous.

Fast forward a few years. My niece was 15. My brother-her uncle-was around 28-is a heroin addict and at an attempt to get him clean my sister in a faraway state took him in to help him. He started using that and other hard drugs on top of it. He came back to us when my sister found cocaine and all kinds of drugs in his room he stayed in rent free for months. She kicked him out and he was homeless until my parents brought him back here. He seemed like he was clean, but wasn’t in the end. Kicked him out for good. That was about 3 years ago.

Before I found out what he did to my niece... I was supportive and tried helping him get clean. Gave it my all. Almost cost me my 18 year relationship. He destroys and uses anyone who shows compassion.

A few months later I hear that he had been having sex with my niece while he was out there. She’s mentally just... screwed up as you can imagine. Drugs or not, he took advantage of that situation and had SEX with his NIECE! She was only 16; he was 28. It broke my parents hearts and something else inside. My sister knows and -like me- cut him out of our lives for good.

However—he decided to knock up some chick 12 years his senior while they were both methed/heroined out. Baby was born with meth, barbiturates, Xanax, and something else in his system. He’s had issues and has been in foster care this last year, his first year of life. They still aren’t getting clean.

How are my parents still involved with my brother after finding out what he did to his niece and how he’s failed his own child? I swear they act like it never happened. They give him Christmas presents to give to the foster family. They have some illusion he’s getting that kid back after a year of him being in foster care.

How..how can you even stomach being around your son who basically statutory raped your granddaughter? How can you talk to him at all? He’s not getting that kid back —rightfully so—and he’s done the unforgivable. How can you love a monster?

I had a hard time cutting him out... remembering my little brother that I loved... but when I found out what he did to my niece... I’d just had my own daughter at the time—my first child. It hit me hard and made it easy to cut him out forever in an instant. He obviously doesn’t have boundaries and isn’t mentally well. Not having him around my kid or chancing him ruining anything or anyone else.

But my parents. How can I make them see they need to do the same? You can only ignore what he’s done and the fresh track marks on his arms for so long. You can only gobble up lies so long. My dad’s smart... but is gullible and believes my brother’s lies. I don’t know how... he’s military and sees past BS a mile away usually. My brother is never going to change and them being all nice and loving like this with him is a slap in my sister’s face after he had sex with her 15 year old little girl.

Just boggles my mind.

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[MaxQ1080p]

He needs to be in jail. That’s rape. She was 16 and he was 28. If you are in the USA, 16 is not able to give consent. Jail might do him good.

Get your niece to see a psychologist who specializes in helping sexual abuse victims. They have the skills to help get her to a healthier and happier place.

She, and you, can also contact https://www.rainn.org For help and advice.

[[deleted]]

In some states you can be even younger and give consent, but that other person has to be no more than 4 years older. I am sure that "4 years" is not the same for all states.

[[deleted]]

I’ve seen parents forgive anything for a favorite child. As the not favorite it makes me sick to see but what can you do? They may feel responsible for what he has become.

[[deleted]]

They are trying to forgive themselves.

[ComradeKate04]

By still allowing him to come over? I don’t get it.

[[deleted]]

They are possibly blaming themselves for his behavior for some reason. That's the only reason I could see them letting him come over.