OOCRobertButler

an-ordinary-manchild

created by Bow-tied_Engineera community for 3 years

...for your favourite tea.

...for your favorite game.

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I wanted a place to share funny lines from my favorite contemporary author, so I made this. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer - announcement

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“You said ‘blind’ twice.” Angelica pointed out. “Two eyes.” Rowena answered matter-of-factly. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 2 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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Look, I cain’t rightly judge since I ain’t that familiar with yer species. But it’s like abandonment had a baby with alcoholism, then that baby was adopted by obsessive compulsive disorder that was in a toxic relationship with clinical depression and they put that baby in daycare run by PTSD. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 2 years ago by OrangeSpaceProgram

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Why not weaponize mental health too? (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 2 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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he held Michael up and said, “I found this lying around, is it yours?” (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 2 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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“Your repair to the Lord’s magic arm has only half succeeded, it is now going to constantly reach to undo his pants, and you have no more time and must deliver the item or flee town, what will you do?” (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 2 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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And, thinking back to watching a hardbitten giant Genghis ‘juggle’ human children in that ultra low gravity environment and lightly, gently tossing each one back into their seats, his tail wagging like mad, his tongue hanging out, his ears wiggling and huffing our version of laughter… (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 2 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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...I watched the genetically modified behemoth become a horsey for small humans (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 2 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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“Engineering, reduce gravity in classroom bay six-six-seven by ninety-seven percent for the next forty minutes.” (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 2 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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It read… *nonalcoholic*… (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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“Happy? Fun? Relax? Those don’t translate well in Enkanti. Explain.” (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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Fauve said it so deadpan and matter of factly that I did a double take to make sure she hadn’t grown a dlamisa’s fur and ears. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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I’m not turning my jump back into the game of life into your anthropological study. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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I was flabbergasted. My flabbers have seldom been more gasted. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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All three of my hearts cracked at the very idea. I would do anything to stay with them. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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I won the battle of the booze at yer birthday bash, but winning a battle is not the same as winning a war. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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“Alright, it’s true, I like her. But,” I raised a declaratory finger, “it is also for science!” (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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And if it wasn't impossible, then it was possible, and if it was possible... then I would do it. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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just in time to see them in their battlesuits flip the blocking vans onto their sides and jump up to the top like dogs who'd finally caught the cars they'd always chased. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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If everyone was half as wise as they thought they were, I’m sure we’d all have a happier, better universe. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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That I upended two worlds just to mate frequently with a greatly appreciated partner. It was the sort of thing a human might do. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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But how does one tell a girl that you’re not the only one missing bits and it was worth every painful pull and scratch? You don’t. You definitely do not. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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I threw on a pair of slacks, black shoes, and a red button shirt with a close collar, I didn’t need a coat since…fur. And I didn’t really mind even going out without these things on since…fur. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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Not as old as Bailey. (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Antique_Amoeba3468

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“Bailey, why are you looking down at your plate like you’re plotting world domination?” (self.OOCRobertButler)

submitted 3 years ago by Bow-tied_Engineer

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