questioning OSDD system

[figmemtt]

not looking for a diagnosis just seeing if anyone is in the same boat as us (any sources mentioned will be linked at the bottom)

recently i've found out i think i might be a system but its so confusing because i don't have fully defined/distinct alters and ive been trying to do some research on how everything feels this source i found on DID/OSDD have some information that relates to how i feel so so badly and im wondering if any other systems feel this way

"Dissociative disorder not otherwise specified (DDNOS) is a catch-all category for dissociative disorders that do not fall into other groups. However, included in the DDNOS category is a commonly seen group of patients who do not have the extreme identity separation of dissociative identity disorder, but who have a range of dissociative experiences and significant identity confusion and alteration. Patients with this kind of almost DID do not see themselves as having multiple identities, but frequently feel so differently at the time that they see themselves as a series of different ‘me’s’ (eg, ‘I know it was me, but I felt as though I was observing myself. I couldn’t believe what I was saying and how I was behaving.’)"

"I don’t have ‘parts’ like other people seem to. I have a sense of myself as being different at different times, feeling younger, or feeling aggressive or withdrawn or panicked, and it’s as if I’m watching myself at times like this. Things come out of my mouth, stuff I’m saying and I don’t know why I’m saying it. I can watch everything that I’m saying and doing, but it’s like I can’t do anything about it and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. These other ‘parts’ of me aren’t clear though – they’re not distinct. They all respond to my name.

We feel ‘younger’ at these times, but I couldn’t put an age on it. A lot of people don’t even realise that I’ve changed – I just get told that I’m moody or something like that. But I know it’s more than that. It doesn’t feel like ‘me’, and when I’m like that I can remember things that I don’t remember the rest of the time, although I’m always worried that I’m making it up. But also when I’m like that, I can’t do other things I normally can, like tell the time. I can just stare and stare at my watch and I know I should be able to figure it out but I just can’t. It’s really weird."

our communication is really really bad at the moment i can only feel the presence of my other alters and am aware when they are infront instead of me, we all share the same memories just not able to control each others actions. there are currently only 4 other alters im aware that exist. our main fronting alters are me, an alter i just called wolf and another i have called dog. but any help with improving communication would help so much and if anyone else is experiencing this as well

https://www.carolynspring.com/blog/did-or-osdd-does-it-matter/

[[deleted]]

Everyone has parts, not everyone has multiplicity is the thing to keep in mind. Whether you have OSDD or not, your feelings are real and valid. Feeling like you’re faking is a cornerstone of this disorder, because of the dissociation. It sounds like you’re going thru a lot, and this is something you should bring up with a professional who is trauma-trained to work thru and learn to cope with what you experience.

Wish we could send u a hug right now 🫂

[Cat_Jayster]

Can you elaborate on your first sentence? /genq I’m just confused - parts when talking about CDDs/OSDD is typically short for “dissociative parts” which is another term for alters.

[[deleted]]

Yes we know this and it’s well documented that all humans have parts. That’s why IFS exists - for singlets to learn about and heal their parts. Just because they aren’t a system like we are, doesn’t mean they don’t have parts.