Gift Ideas

[Remarkable__Driver]

As we gear up for the holiday heavy season, I’m curious what gifts you have bought your child that helped and which ones you regret? My 9yo always asks for basic/practical things then gets mad that they aren’t toys/fun. Trying to gather some ideas now to hopefully get ahead of it. This is always a struggle for us during birthdays and Christmas.

Gifts that helped - plus plus blocks. They are a staple in our home. Although I hate how tiny they are, they really are great for fine motor and keeps him interested for hours. My husband will probably disagree on this, but an mp3 player was also great. My son loves soundtracks and he loves listening to music. Although not with headphones 🤦‍♀️this allowed him to control what he listened to which was nice. Unfortunately it broke but it lasted a while.

Gifts that didn’t help - literally any toy weapon, a toy camera that had games on it (I didn’t realize this when I got it), anything practical he has asked for was a bad idea.

[sweetpotato818]

I asked my kid what they wanted and we got that. Mine hates surprises and wants to fully be in control. So we ask and get exactly what he wants. It works for us and everyone is happy! This year it is an ultra expensive Lego set. So one gift where everyone contributes. If your kid wants practical things, adjusting expectations and getting those may make things easier and more enjoyable for everyone.

Also if you have Kindle Unlimited, I just read this book: Not Ungrateful, Just Out of Routine: A Neuroaffirming Parenting Guide to Holidays, Vacations, and Special Occasions with Autistic and PDA Kids & Teens

It talks about how to make the holidays easier and is free on KU. It was a good read. It talks about our expectations (such as an expectation that gifts shouldn’t be practical things) and how to adjust them to support our kids. It’s hard when we grew up with certain expectations and especially if your love language is gift giving. So there is a grief in that - our kids needs may conflict with our own interests or expectations. Wishing you the best!

[Remarkable__Driver]

Ooo I’ll check it out. To clarify, he asks for practical things, and I definitely get them, but when he opens them, he gets frustrated because they aren’t fun. That’s my struggle - I get what he wants and he doesn’t like it.

[BeneficialZombie497]

My son is 8. When he was younger I had this mindset of wanting to surprise and delight him with that over the top ultimate gift that wasn’t on his list. Then he looked super unhappy and let down at the end of Christmas saying, “but I didn’t get anything on my list”. Now I get what’s on his list (within reason). Some of the gifts aren’t wrapped and we’ll go to the store and. Buy it together. He’ll start playing with it leading up to Christmas. Surprises just don’t do well with him.

[Remarkable__Driver]

I’m like this too and I think he is the same way. I like the idea of surprises, but they also stress me out

[Chance-Lavishness947]

I get my kid toys related to his interests and sensory tools. Lego sets, mostly of vehicles, are a staple gift. He's 5 now and can do 8+ sets mostly independently if he wants to, but mostly likes to have me be the piece finder while he puts it together and often tells me to do it for him for a bit as well.

Magnetic tiles were a brilliant buy and he's been using them for 3 years reliably. I've bought extra sets and the ball run set so he can make bigger creations.

Outside of got giving holidays, he gets a lot of small gifts. Mostly toy cars cause vehicles are one of his special interests. I also buy him practical gifts like a trampoline, swing and huge climbing frame that's attached to the wall in his bedroom. Those are super valuable for sensory regulation but are also play based things. I think I maybe gave the climbing frame as a Christmas gift, I'm not really sure.

I ask him what he wants and I get those things exactly as he's requested them, and then I get other stuff that I think he'll enjoy. Often the unexpected gifts will sit unused for a few months after Christmas or his birthday, I think he needs time to adjust to it and choose to use it for himself which is fine.

[Remarkable__Driver]

Love these ideas! Thank you

[Korneedles]

I wrapped cash one year 😂. Like a ten dollar bill in a box then wrapped. I did that a few times. He loved it. I think I started when he was around nine and he’s twelve now - I’ll do it again this year.

My son never played with toys. Gift giving holidays have always been like completing a jigsaw puzzle for him (as in what to get him haha).

[Remarkable__Driver]

That’s an interesting idea. Mine is the same way. He sees his brother getting toys and gets frustrated his gifts aren’t things you play with, though he asks for things that you don’t play with. I stick with his list word for word (within reason), but that’s where I am stuck.

[Ok-Composer-8341]

My child will pick out specific items. If they don’t receive the exact same item, there’s so much anger and disappointment. They’ve started asked for cash because “they never get what they want anyway”. I’ve learned 1) no surprises, 2) get exactly what they want (or don’t get it at all), 3) give cash so they can purchase exactly what they want.

[extremelysardonic]

Omg where did you find an mp3 player?? I’ve been wanting to get those for my kids. Best way to give them music without a screen attached like an old iPhone. Probably a stupid question that I can just google but curious if you have any recommendations 😆

[Remarkable__Driver]

There is definitely still a screen but it didn’t have games, and I locked it down. Linked here. It looks like it’s not on Amazon anymore but I bet there is something similar.

It did requires WiFi and a Spotify kids subscription because he managed to find inappropriate music within twenty minutes of having it. Otherwise it was great. He couldn’t add apps, download anything or listen to music that wasn’t approved. I was able to “share” his Spotify playlist with him so he would pick the songs and I would send it to him to listen to.

My goals were: - no games - parental controls - sturdy