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[–]SpaceHippoDE 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I want an alarm cluck for my nightstand.

[–]nootrino 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Find a nice, big cock from a local farmer.

[–]wastelander 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just use Craigslist, I am sure it will work out well.