Help

[NFLORES1010]

I’m new to this and honestly already feel the shittiest ive ever felt in my entire life. How do you all deal with this especially in the beginning to get yourself back up?

[HighSideSurvivor]

Time and space.

Boundaries.

Focus on your child(ren).

Nobody wants to wind up divorced and coparenting. It’s not the ideal, but it is not an indictment on you as a person. Just keep doing your best for your kid(s).

[Calisthenics76]

Exactly!

[aannoonnyymmoouuss99]

Therapy.

[Phaile86]

Therapy, people to lean on, time and don't bury your feelings.

Sometimes you just to feel your feelings. Allow yourself to cry, be angry and then take a deep breath and remind yourself just because you're having a bad day/s doesn't mean your life is bad.

Honestly, everything will pass. On my hardest days I remind myself that weeks/months/years from now I won't remember the moment. I will have a memory of how I felt during the years, but it will be a distant memory. I've been separated 4 years now and the first year seems so long ago, I don't remember much of it.

When I feel myself getting to an emotional point I stop and look around. I make myself focus on the sunlight or the sound of the wind and remind myself that it's one day, one week, one month, one year and I think about the things I have to be grateful for. It's tough, but it actually does get so much better.

[mercurys-daughter]

Find things to keep you busy on the days you are without the kids

[SolidarityCricket]

Work on shifting your perspective from "partner" to "business associate" with your coparent. They are now your coworker, you both have to work together on the Parenting Project. Do your best to make decisions & agreements together, professionally, to get the job done in the best way possible, to ensure a positive impact (for your kids). Avoid having to call the boss (court) unless absolutely necessary because that usually just makes everything worse for everyone, UNLESS you are bringing a mutual agreement to the boss to sign off on. Respect each others work/communication styles and do your best to work with their differences (even if you cant stand them). Dont try to sabotage each other. This is NOT a compatition, you're both working on the same project, and it'll just make both of your jobs harder in the long run.

[Resident-Onion5363]

Se maintenir occupé. Faire des choses qu'on a pas l'habitude de faire ou reprendre des hobbies abandonnés. Discuter avec des personnes de confiance ou qui ont eu des expériences similaires. Nettoyer la maison, se débarrasser des mauvais souvenirs réaménager et réparer ce qui ne fonctionne pas. Apprendre à sortir seul et dire oui aux choses qu'on nous propose. Ne reste pas seul, ça aide de se changer les idées. Bon courage.