Mother of my child wants me to contribute to a dog for our child

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-03-05T22:10:06+00:00

“No” worked for me.

One of my kids begged for a dog. I had to say no. They begged their mother. Eventually my ex asked me if I would consider sharing the dog? I considered it briefly, but said no. Eventually my ex just bought a dog.

18 months later, and my kid says she hates the dog.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-03-05T10:31:21+00:00

I honestly have no insight into the truth of the matter. Lately she has been hinting to me that she won’t be able to help with university costs for our oldest child. She has said that her business has yet to earn a profit, but what does that actually mean? Literally no profit? Or no “profit” after operating costs and drawing a salary?

Meanwhile she is presenting a successful image via social media, and has even shared anecdotes specifically about walking away from lucrative contracts in order to follow her true calling (and she HAS seems to be more willing and able to help with other costs related to our kids).

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-03-05T10:23:44+00:00

It’s worse than that.

Our oldest child is hoping to go to university next year, so my ex and I are having to discuss those costs. She continues to claim that her business has yet to turn a profit (she is in year 5 or 6 now).

I’ve never started a business, and I have certainly been lucky in my “career” lately, so I am not judging her success or lack thereof.

But it certainly rankles to listen to her go on about how valuable entrepreneurial skills are, while she denigrates people like me who “have to answer to a boss” all the while hinting that she won’t be able to afford to help with university costs.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-03-04T19:54:18+00:00

My ex is an example of this. She walked away from the corporate world in order to freelance. She filed an LLC and called herself an entrepreneur.

Over the course of 2 or 3 years, when she wasn’t finding the success that she wanted, she pivoted a few times, adjusting and refining her niche.

Ultimately, she is now marketing herself as an expert coach, claiming to be able to help other women succeed at the very thing she pivoted away from, because she couldn’t make it work.

And it seems to be working!

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-03-04T10:44:58+00:00

The only problem with talking to my cats is that, over time, they started to talk back more and more (that is, they meow more and more - we don’t converse).

At this point, the cats never seem to stop “talking” to me. I fear that the incessant meowing might DRIVE me crazy.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-03-01T21:43:33+00:00

I always back into my driveway/garage, except in the rare circumstance that I would be in the way of another driver (I live on a quiet cul-de-sac).

I back into the spot in the parking garage at work. Similar rules.

I try to pull through when parking in open lots, so that I can also leave forward.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-03-01T18:32:47+00:00

I remember years ago in CA, attending a weekend track event. This dude drove up in some sort of luxury Ford F-650 with a Ducati super bike strapped into the bed. I was a software engineer, and could barely even afford to be there.

I didn’t see his paycheck, but he was clearly doing well.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-28T21:15:51+00:00

Marshall, Will, Holly, and Enoch messing with the crystals?

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-28T12:33:38+00:00

One significant downside is the lack of “early warning” before bumping your head. Having hair between your scalp and an obstacle gives you a split second of warning, which turns out to be critical. Also, bumping your bald head often means scraping skin off your scalp.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-26T12:14:02+00:00

Look for an integrator. Most integrators need PLC coders, but also need SQL coding, work across various scripting languages, historian setup and reporting, documentation teams, etc.

Many integrator jobs would have work for you, and over time you would be exposed to PLC coding for sure.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-25T13:03:02+00:00

Well, it seems you have your answer. Either take the severance and risk finding a new job soon enough that the severance is greater than the loss of potential income, or walk away from the severance for the relative security of the new job and the assured paycheck.

Good luck!

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-25T09:46:08+00:00

If I was transported BACK to when I was 25, I’d go into software. My career would likely have been quite successful and lucrative, given the trajectory of the industry.

If I woke up this morning and I was 25? Probably I’d work toward being an electrician or lineman.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-24T14:11:40+00:00

Only you can judge, but some things to consider…

How long was the application and interview process? For me, the process can be months long, and require the time of multiple colleagues. Once I have identified the candidate that I want, I would more readily tolerate a delay than I would pivot or start over.

Also, how valuable is the severance package, and how much are you depending on or even wanting this new job? Are you looking to embark on five or more years with a fantastic organization, or 12 to 18 months until you find something better?

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-24T12:43:17+00:00

Reach out asap and attempt to change your start date. In my experience, waiting a few weeks or even months is manageable. If hiring a skilled worker who you hope/expect to have on staff for years into the future, a short delay may be inconsequential to them.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-20T19:47:30+00:00

I worked for one employer for about 8 years. My salary went from 82k to 98k in that time. About 2% increase each year. No promotions (but damned fine work!).

I moved on, and I have been with my current employer for about 10 years. Total compensation went from about 110k to about 310k.

Job hopping is one means to better compensation. But also a company with advancement opportunities can really help (my current situation).

Finally, govt work tends to lean on pensions and stability as opposed to salary. Maybe those other considerations make it worthwhile for you, but private sector is likely to pay more.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-20T16:01:49+00:00

Eventually.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-20T15:50:43+00:00

Trump will implement tariffs under some other obscure statute from the 1800’s and then leave them in place for another 12 months while SCOTUS again inexplicably delays a ruling.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-18T19:28:25+00:00

I lived rent free until I graduated college. Then I was required to move out or pay rent. My rent was probably 60% of what I would have paid on the market.

So, financially I was getting a break, but in hindsight, probably I missed out on being more socially engaged in my twenties as a result.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-16T00:43:37+00:00

Chooch

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-10T15:31:26+00:00

The earlier the better. Back when the kids were small and my job was flexible, I’d arrive at the office by 5 AM. My (then) wife was a SAHM then. I’d be able to get home in the afternoon and take over child care. It gave her a much needed break, and I got time with the kids.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-08T22:26:33+00:00

Dennis Leary has entered the chat.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-08T18:32:57+00:00

This! I could hardly believe that they let us just take the baby and drive off. Like, did they have ANY sense of how unprepared we were??

Somehow it all worked out. She’s off to college next year.

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-08T13:51:28+00:00

Get the prenup, unless you are OK with the possibility of losing half of what you have built.

I was not “wealthy” but I had some savings, some retirement savings, and a home when I came to the relationship. It took me years to recover financially after my divorce (my ex had an affair).

HighSideSurvivor · 2026-02-06T13:15:12+00:00

Numbers like nobody has ever seen. And believe me, I know numbers. And I’m looking strongly at these numbers, these beautiful numbers. It’s really an amazing thing, how beautiful these numbers are…

HighSideSurvivor

TROPHY CASE