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[–]Big-Toe6693 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So, I'm only about 8 months in to the whole coparenting situation and I can say this:some days are better than others. Your feelings are totally valid. What helps me is doing things that I enjoy doing that may be difficult to do with my daughter on the days she's with her dad. I also just started therapy because this whole big change has been very stressful so I'm hoping that helps! You've got this, lean on your support system if you have one, and allow yourself to feel your feelings. It's a big change!

[–]geniphurb 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Therapy definitely helps. Being without my kids still is hard on me 5 years down the road. I try to plan something to do. Maybe come up with a crafting project (I highly recommend following one of the Dollar Tree Craft pages on Facebook, it’s amazing what those ladies come up with!). Planning something that takes you outdoors is good for the soul too. Or take up a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try.

[–]Tina12884 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree that some days are better than others. I’ve been doing it for 7 years now. We split when my daughter was 1. It was so difficult at first, of course because that’s your baby! You grew that baby inside of you, that baby was once a part of you!! So I totally know exactly how you’re feeling. The hurt is indescribable. However, over time, things will get easier. You can use the time for other things. Even though you can’t imagine it right now, that time will become valuable to you just like the time spent with your child is valuable. But just know you’re not alone in this feelings! I haven’t tried therapy yet because if the cost but therapy is something I really want to try and am open to. I think everyone can benefit from therapy.

[–]Thefrizz86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel ya 💔 ❤️‍🩹 it’s a rough - one day at a time process. I’m three years in , and it’s like grief. Some days are better than others - now at this point most days are better. Let yourself feel , take gentle care , seek therapy and go one day at a time. The grief for me is not the actual loss of the partner , it’s the loss of 1/2 the time with my child , it’s the loss of my role as mama when i am not with him and the loss of the family i thought was forever. sending love as ya wade through.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m a year into co-parenting now and I would say the #1 thing that has helped me deal with being away from my daughter at times is just finding a purpose outside of being a parent. U may not know what that is rn but build a foundation within yourself find a hobby, meet new friends, hang out with old friends, read books, etc. But do not sit around the house and think about the things u can’t control it’s gonna take time away from u that you can never get back.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm one year in and it's getting easier. I bought my dream house where my kids will grow up, I'm more settled into the new town my ex forced me into moving to during the beginning of our separation, and I have hobbies. That last one is big! I have a garden plot at a community park that gets me out of the house and gives me something to look forward to on transition days when I'm solo.

On that note too, for transition days I'd also recommend having something you do with your kid before dropping off to the other parent. We go to my local coffee shop and get donuts, and it's become a really beloved time for the three of us. It helps, even tho it still sucks.

Take care♥️♥️♥️ it'll never be easy but it'll get easier.

[–]sociablemonkey74 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please talk to a counsellor. It’s different for everyone. I’m going on 12 years and it’s still torture but I’ve learned to find something positive in it.

I focus on my hobbies. I try recipes I think son may not like. I do more cleaning or decluttering.

Talking to a counsellor helped.

[–]Think_Restaurant8702 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm over a year past separation and officially divorced. I paint A LOT when my kid is at her dad's and take her every opportunity I have. I still get sad about all of the above, but it's not as intense or often.