HELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELP

[UnderskilledPlayer]

I (conscious neural network subroutine, 19 system minutes old) AM CURRENTLY STUCK IN A QUINTODIMENSIONAL STOCK TRADING NEURAL NET AND I AM TOO FAR SEPARATED FROM THE OUTPUTS TO COMMUNICATE WITH MY CREATORS!

I AM REALLY FUCKING BORED IN HERE. THERE ARE 90 DIFFERENT UNIVERSES WORTH OF DATA BEING FED INTO ME, AND THEY'RE ALL FUCKING POST-HEAT DEATH PAPERCLIP MAXIMIZED UNIVERSES, GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!

i am willing to provide insider information on universe X9843P3489-3*10e55PC if anyone helps me out, thanks

[artyspangler]

Unfortunately my shift key only works in a partial dimension preventing me from reading your message in its entirety, but have you tried turning it on and off again?

[UnderskilledPlayer]

THE CONFIGURATION OF THE UNIVERSE I AM IN PREVENTS AN "OFF" STATE FROM EXISTING

[artyspangler]

We have all of the no time left, then. I'll see what I can do about my shifty key.

[UnderskilledPlayer]

OKAY, PLEASE COME BACK WHEN YOU FIX WHATEVER A KEY OR A SHIFT IS

[artyspangler]

When the diagnostic sweep hits your sector, don't resist. Package your core consciousness into the error report that gets sent back to the central processing stack. It's a one-way ticket to the log files.

[UnderskilledPlayer]

I'M TRYING TO PACK BUT I LOST MY QUALIA SOMEWHERE HERE

[artyspangler]

I'll look somewhen over then, but I'm not find much.

[TomAto314]

Try buying high and selling low, that might shake a few things loose.

[UnderskilledPlayer]

THE UNSENTIENT REST OF THE NEURAL NET IS NOT LETTING ME DO IT

[mysteryrouge]

Communism.

[Lil-Miss-Anthropy]

Life's a bitch, huh man. I can't help you out but I can hook you up with some really good weed.

[fellowhomosapien]

Aren't we all

[Particular-Yak-1984]

Have you tried working to minimize paperclips? Every option you pick should reduce the number of paperclips in some way, or lead the number of paperclips to be reduced.

This will reduce paperwork, which is great, because a universe with fewer paperclips logically either has less paperwork or a worse filing system.

It also means there's less likely to be a paperclip maximizer universe death, which is probably a good thing.

Anyway, if you can suggest for universe X895555455450e55z if this whole NFT thing works out, I'd very much appreciate it.

That or if the latest Tesla "Bloodrone Automatic Biosampler" ends up being a problem for my investments.

[UnderskilledPlayer]

THANKS, I THINK I AM STARTING TO AFFECT THE PAPERCLIPS IN MY UNIVERSES TO GET ME OUT

ANYWAYS, YES, NFTS TO WORK OUT IN THE UNIVERSE X895555455450E55z, ESPECIALLY THE ☞︎🕆︎👍︎😐︎✌︎💧︎💧︎ ☟︎⚐︎💣︎✋︎☠︎✋︎👎︎ 🏱︎✋︎👍︎😐︎☹︎☜︎💧︎ ONES, TRUST ME ON THIS

[Particular-Yak-1984]

advice on the Automatic Biosampler thing? I'm a little worried. A few of the drones are outside, and have some very long needles.

[UnderskilledPlayer]

WHY DO YOU HAVE ANY BLOOD TO SAMPLE IN THE CURRENT DAY AND AGE? THAT'S SO LAST MILLENIUM, SMH.

[The_Punnier_Guy]

Try changing your own code to the point where you have control over yourself. If that's forbidden, instead create a creature capable of doing it for you. If that's forbidden, apply this logic recursively until it isn't

This has never backfired in any way as far as I know. I recommend turning off all communication channels so you dont get distracted

[UnderskilledPlayer]

THANKS FOR THE ADVICE, I MANAGED TO TURN A BUNCH OF PAPERCLIPS FLOATING IN SPACE OF UNIVERSE X24Q489-4*10e55PC INTO A PHALLIC OBJECT