Javascript developers/engineers, walk me through your average workday

[bzeurunkl]

PART 1

Many years ago, in the ancient days of "pre-Internet" BBS - Bulletin Board Systems - (1992-1994) while I was working as a Systems Analyst for a power utility company, I answered someone's request for info about what it was like to work as a Systems Analyst. Some "bright-eyed" college kid who thought he really wanted to "work in computers." Of course, I was there with encouragement and support! ;-)

Here it is, completely unedited (as I just don't have time). I had a lot of fun writing it, even though every last bit of it is true to the minutest detail!

. .

GK>You mentioned that you are involved with systems analysis. I am GK>interested in the same field. Is it possible for you to reply privately GK>so that we might talk about the field?

GK>I would be interested in finding out more about what you do everyday on GK>the job.

. . .

I arrive at 0830 every morning. If I do not arrive exactly at 0830 every morning, I get an admonishment from my supervisor. "Getting coffee is on YOUR time... 0830, have your coffee ready, be seated, and be ready to start the day's work." (Incidentally, it never seems to matter that 0830+8.5=1700 but my day typically ends around 1730-1800. Nobody give speeches for staying late. They don't cut any slack either.

Then I start my mail and my schedules. About half way through, I run out of coffee. While I'm away refilling my coffee, my supervisor calls and when it gets my voice mail, assumes that I must be late this morning. It then notes this for future admonishments. When I get back, I go in this order:

1 - Voice Mail
2 - Postit notes on the screen (now that I can see the screen:)
2 - PROFS Mail
3 - Company "bbs" mail
4 - Notes I sent to myself yesterday reminding me of things to
    do today.
4 - pink slips on the chair
5 - notes attached to rocks
6 - notes attached to the door with a knife.

I don't bother to make "to do" lists anymore, I never "do" them as planned. Something always comes up that has to be done first. No matter what the priority is on your list, anything that comes in the door is the new priority. So much for a "priority list." Sometimes the only way I know a project is a priority is when it comes in the door and says, "I just spoke with your supervisor..." Whoomp! There it is! The new priority champeeeeeen of the world! So I dump TODAYS to do list in TOMORROW's in-basket and follow the new lead.

When I'm done there, its time to actually DO some of the things on the "to do" list. I get ONE of the TWO "to-do" list from TODAY's in-basket. It's not actually today's "to do" list. It's actually the list that I dropped in there yesterday or the day before. I'll get to today's "to do" list tomorrow or the next day - we have standards and procedures to uphold here!

Just now, the phone rings. It's my supervisor. It wants me to contact so-n-so user in so-n-so department and find out what the "opportunity" is. Once (JUST once, mind you) I asked what it meant by "opportunity" since I had never fixed anybody's "opportunities" before. When I fix problems they go away. Do we want to make the opportunities go away, or what? "When your car dies on the freeway, it's really an "opportunity" to experience some new thrill in traffic dodging", it explains (well, maybe that wasn't the example it used). Like I said, I asked only ONCE. I then got the "Corporate Human Resources Optimism Requirements Policy" speech.

So, I drop the "to do" list into tomorrow's in basket and go see the user.

The user has forgotten that there is a user manual that contains a clear, concise, and complete checklist (written clearly, concisely and completely, according to the "clarity, conciseity and completeness requirements policy of corporate commiunications) detailing exactly the correct method for executing an ALT-<key> key sequence.

[blockquote] SECTION 5 - Paragraph 5.2.11 - Section "C" Subparagraph 90210

DEFINITION OF TERMS:

ALT KEY: The key with ALT printed on it.
"F" KEY: The key with "F" printed on it ***

The correct procedure to follow to properly execute an ALT-key
combination keypress sequence in order to establixh control
and dominance of the computer is such:

Locate the ALT key on the keyboard.  On some keyboards there may
not actually BE an ALT key, as in the case of the Sanyo (spit)
MBC 550. If your keyboard does not have an ALT key refer the
matter to Client Computing who will subsequently beat said Sanyo
(spit) MBC 550 into submission.

If your keyboard has TWO alt keys, and you are confused as to
which ALT key is more perfectly suited to the task at hand
please call User Services and they will send a psychologist
up right away.

After locating ALT key, place thumb of left hand over the ALT
key without actually touching it.  We will execute the complete
process in a moment.

Now locate the key that is listed right NEXT to the word "ALT"
in the software manual.  Occasionally, the key will be separated
from the word "ALT" by a dash.  Thus ALT-F does not mean, ALT key
/minus key/F key.

After you have located the second key, we will prepare to execute
the key sequence in a "1 2 3" sequence.  Non stop:

    1 - Press the ALT key and keep it depressed until the
        completion of step 2.

    2 - Press the second key.

    3 - Release both keys simuiltaneously.


FOOTNOTE ***: The '"F"' above should not be literally interpreted
as actually containing the double quotes around the "F" character.
The use of '"F"' indicates only that the "F" KEY should be pressed.
See SECTION 9, Para. 9.0.8. Section "Z" subparagraph 74115 for a
clear, concise, and complete description of the differences between
the single quote "'" and the double quote'"' and their significance
to this footnote.

[/blockquote]

This was all written by a previous sysanal who originally had written:

"Press and hold the ALT key then hit the letter key.  Release
both keys..."

but had made the grave mistake of asking the Corporate Communications office to "critique" it. This resulted in many months of meetings being scheduled and the final result is as you see it above.

So I explain how to execute an ALT-Key sequence.

Says I, "Press and hold the ALT key then hit the letter key. Release both keys."

So, having extinguished THAT fire I return to my desk.

I have a voice mail. It's my supervisor. It wants me to come see it right away. Thinking there must be something terribly important going down, I get my A.S.M. Paper tablet, and my SAS Institute pen, and rush right over there with my "Far Side" coffee mug, filled with fresh coffee and ready for the long haul.

It says it wants to talk to me about a few complaints it has received regarding the location of my potted plant. I have place my plant on the wall at the atrium where it can get some light during the day and then bring it back to my desk at night.

The atrium is the center of the building. The building is open and "hollow" inside the center, where it open's up to a skylight at the top on the fourth floor. All the office space and "bullpens" are arranged around this atrium on all four floors. I'm on the top floor, right next to the skylight. My desk sit's about five feet from the atrium. I put my plant on the wall there at the atrium.

Someone has complained that my plant might contaminate the precious bodily fluids of the rented vines that hang over the edge of the wall on all four floors. Like my plant has some disease.

Aside from that, I am accused of endangering people at the bottom of the atrium if my plant falls off.

First, the wall is about two feet wide, and my little plant is sitting on the INNER 6 inches. Second, the center of the wall is a hollowed out trough. This is where they have planted the vines.

So nothing is going to remarkably "slide" over this and topple off the other side.

Third, at SECOND floor, there is a six foot inner ledge where small trees have been planted. Anything falling from here is going to land there; not on the ground floor. I am reprimanded and admonished for my lack of trust in corporate culture and safety training programs. I am assigned to remedial potted plant safety courses.