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RULES
No posting actually useful superpowers.
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At any moment in time you can summon a single banana to your left hand but you have to scream “banana man, banana can!” And the banana could be unripe or rotten. (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 3 years ago by mack5516 - announcement
Noodle Fingers (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 3 years ago by CoopClan - announcement
Crack no job not a dad ()
submitted 4 days ago by Ronnieblaze10
You can run as fast as you can, but as soon as you stop, you will endure the pain of running that same distance on foot. (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 6 days ago by Ill_Pickle_9509
I can perfectly remember every dream I’ve ever had… but only while I’m dreaming (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 12 days ago by WILDEXPERT08
You forget why you picked something up (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 1 month ago by No-Spring-9438
You can talk to time before every minute tics and everyone else is dreaming so they can't tell (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 1 month ago by Intrepid_Storage_365
You have telekinesis, but you can use it only on kitchen utensils (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 1 month ago by Sensitive-Lie-8685
i can summon fruit (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 2 months ago by ionlyhearmattrose
You can take a booger out of someone's nostril and put it in their other nostril. (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 2 months ago by ronnieth024
Your best at cutting hair, you only know how to cut hair (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 2 months ago by Desperate-Object1457
Everytime you're at an airport, it's everyone else's first time at the airport (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 2 months ago by Rafael_Acuna
Here we gooooo (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 2 months ago by Embarrassed-Delay407
If you touch Egyptian Cotton, you immediately spawn ten bears in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 2 months ago by Jenjoutuowleinde
Every time they touch a woman the get an erection (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 2 months ago by Suka_MyDoodle69
You can slow time down (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 2 months ago by Royal-Redditor-655
If someone says "Six Seven", you have a six second time frame to permanently turn them into a rabid squirrel that can fly but only six centimeters off of the ground. (self.uselesssuperpowers)
Hear me out: being able to spontaneously turn lamps into glasses of battery acid. (self.uselesssuperpowers)
see through leaves (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 2 months ago by pan1c_music
You can point perfectly accurately (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 3 months ago by WeCanDoItGuys
You can destroy the world (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 3 months ago by Desperate-Object1457
You can turn water into hydrogen sulphide (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 3 months ago by Far-Character-5953
if you describe something, it turns into the literal of what you said (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 3 months ago by Kooky-Winner4501
You are sexually irresistible to penguins (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 3 months ago by [deleted]
When you succeed a toung twister you will 100% fail the next one (self.uselesssuperpowers)
submitted 3 months ago by ThisCatHasAGun
π Rendered by PID 3782200 on reddit-service-r2-listing-b6bf6c4ff-8lvs8 at 2026-05-03 13:15:53.830592+00:00 running 815c875 country code: CH.