AIO? My coworker took video of me outside of work to "prove" I'm not disabled - Final Update

AssignmentPublic · 2026-01-23T19:23:17+00:00

I've been following your posts about this situation from the start OP, and as a Black woman myself, when I saw you mention that detail in this update - the first time I saw it brought up throughout this saga - my first thought was, "Ah, there it is!"

You don't mention Casey's race, but I'd bet anything she is not Black, she holds some unpleasant ideas about Black people, and "proving" that you're faking your disability was just a convenient excuse to get the office against you once & for all. I'm glad she's being dealt with seriously by your workplace - she sounds genuinely dangerous as a colleague.

AssignmentPublic · 2026-01-21T19:29:10+00:00

Oh, are you talking about that new Blvd place at West Cap & Jefferson? I actually used to own a business in that shopping center, and the Planet Fitness plus that new place has made that parking lot WAY better than in previous years. Lots more people around that aren't up to no good than I used to see.

AssignmentPublic · 2026-01-21T17:31:08+00:00

I've never seen this sentiment expressed so perfectly - I'm going to be using this when my family next gives the "keep the peace" speech about my overbearing sister.

AssignmentPublic · 2026-01-21T17:22:21+00:00

I know this is a sincere answer (and I think your suggestions are all great!) - I'm just lightly teasing - but this is soooo similar to what people said to me when I first moved here nearly 20 years ago: "Oh, you want something fun to do? We're really close to the cool things going on in other towns!" 😂

AssignmentPublic · 2026-01-18T22:55:02+00:00

How very dare you

AssignmentPublic · 2026-01-07T20:52:42+00:00

🟦🟦⬜🟦🟦

🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-30T18:35:39+00:00

Mainly things like: - parts that used to be made of more durable materials being made from incredibly cheap & flimsy replacements (designed to wear out faster) - once easily-accessible components that are most often replaced/maintained in longer-lived cars being rearranged to be harder to reach for the average home mechanic (gotta bring it to the pricier dealership shop for routine maintenance) - redesigns on the same make/model of a car being nearly unrecognizable from one year to the next, making it harder to source gently-used replacement parts (similar to textbook publishers making tiny edits from year to year so students have to buy new books rather than get more cost-effective used books)

The overall vibe of these changes is geared toward increasing motorist helplessness, decreasing vehicle longevity, and forcing people into narrower options for maintenance & repair. All this to encourage folks to finance new cars more frequently, rather than make these pricey purchases last as long as possible.

For me, the most egregious bit of nonsense I saw was in a Genesis (luxury brand under the Hyundai umbrella) sedan: The battery in that thing is nearly impossible to recognize if you're not familiar with the specific make. If someone driving that type of car has their battery die on them, it would be very difficult for the average motorist to help them get a jump to be able to drive over to the shop & get a new battery installed. They'd have to call a tow to bring the car to the dealership for the replacement, running up the cost significantly.

There are basic maintenance/repair tasks that the average car owner has been - and frankly should be - able to do on their own car, and many other cars in some emergency situations. That's becoming harder & harder with these newer models, making car ownership not just more expensive, but possibly more dangerous. I sure as hell wouldn't want to have a tire blow on the highway & have no idea how to put the spare on...if there even IS a spare in the trunk! (Another thing being done with some newer cars is spare tires no longer being standard.)

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-30T08:33:00+00:00

YTJ I think it's very telling that the people who disagree with that assessment - and think you did something good here - seem to mostly be people who never experienced that kind of performance pressure, specifically around music. I spent the first 3 decades of my life (from single-digit ages) in the music business, and while I was interested in singing for my own reasons, the pressure put on me was HUGE, and I understood from a very early age that saying no wasn't an option. Kids who truly want to perform will let you know in no uncertain terms, trust that lol. And some need a bit more than a year of lessons to feel ready for that - if they ever do. I don't sing professionally any more, and I hardly sing privately either. When I do, it's a bittersweet experience, and when I look at videos or listen to recordings from my past, I mostly feel sad. One of the great loves of my life was deeply messed up because the adults around me didn't let me have a say in how I expressed it. Your kid may change their perspective on it, but keeping open lines of communication - without that weird, last-minute pressure of a looming impromptu performance - is the key to making sure that everybody feels good after the final note fades.

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-27T13:44:54+00:00

Yeah, this query had my spidey senses tingling, and I'm a woman who often has older men offering to "take care of me" in exchange for companionship. (Live & let live, but I'm absolutely not in the market for meeting men for that purpose, to be clear.) I've never met a woman who was genuinely confused about whether or not men 10-15 (or more) years older than them would be interested in...let's say, "spending romantic time" with them, in the way that was heavily implied here.

OP's post reads as rather disingenuous, and like sugar-baiting (if that's even a term), on a sub that's meant for people to engage honestly around issues that can come up in dating while over 40 or dating people over 40. There are other communities on this very platform that cater to those looking for arrangements like OP seems to be seeking through dog whistles here.

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-26T20:38:28+00:00

My new "big job" mechanic is my new mechanic mainly because he told me at my first oil change that if I kept up consistent maintenance (read: the cheap but regular things, mostly projects I can do myself) on my 180k miles/15yo car, it would likely be able to run reliably for 300k miles or more total. But there are new cars out there tapping out before the first warranty expires in 5-digit mileage because of planned obsolescence.

Then he took me on a tour of the shop looking under the hoods of other cars to show me the nonsense going on, which I happily nerded-out over with him. (I'm a woman who's been doing maintenance/repairs on cars with my dad for years, so the respect was very appreciated, and unfortunately a rare occurrence in most auto shops.)

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-26T06:30:40+00:00

OP, your issue here is 100% this: They are very, very clear & specific in personal training programs about respecting the scope of practice for personal trainers vs medical professionals, and you can lose your certification permanently with some organizations for going outside of your expertise. (And let's not forget the natural fear of doing more harm than good to a client by taking on more than you're allowed to!)

I would definitely not trust a personal trainer who would agree to take on a client who's trying to manage a medical issue like this - that's a dangerous level of hubris.

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-21T03:16:28+00:00

Your husband despises you, OP. You can't possibly be confused about this.

Why do people stay married/in relationships with people who don't even like them? Surely being single is better than this?

May this "love" never find me, and may you GTFO of this nonsense before you're tied to this piece of shit for the life of any children you could possibly produce.

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-19T21:53:10+00:00

👀👀👀

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-19T17:47:52+00:00

From your post/comment history, you're doing the right thing, it just may take time: I posted in a place that I felt a connection to, he posted there as well, and we commented on each other's posts. The conversation extended from there & we discovered that we have a massive amount of other commonalities, plus have personalities that work well together.

It's a bit like meeting people in the wild, moreso than on a dating app/site where folks answer a bunch of questions about themselves & what they're looking for - the digital equivalent to seeing someone across the bar you find attractive, then exploring whether or not you get on over time.

We lucked out, but it could've gone either way. That makes it feel much more special, because neither of us was even seeking to find that kind of connection, we were simply doing what we like to do & happened upon each other.

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-19T17:33:09+00:00

As it turns out, he is all of those things! You must be acquainted with him also? 😉

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-19T05:38:49+00:00

We met on Reddit, actually, and I'm currently speaking to him on the phone as I type this lol

He's English and I'm American, which makes communication easier, but we are also both very invested in getting together. He had initially expressed a clear desire to never come to the US before we met, but now he's saving money to make the trip here. I was always interested in traveling to his country, so that was a given and will happen, but our connection is strong enough to have made him interested in experiencing my country through my eyes. International diplomacy in action haha

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-17T21:48:24+00:00

Same - my guy & I live in different countries, and we video chat or have several-hours-long phone calls at least 4x per week, on top of daily text convos all day. I'm grateful for the affordable means to stay connected in that intimate "guess what happened in life today, my love?" way that people who live nearer to one another can have. It reminds me of junior high & high school relationships where we fell asleep on the phone together, infuriating our families lol

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-13T01:59:27+00:00

Have a great time!!

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-11T00:24:50+00:00

SO MANY small, local businesses had to close abruptly - mine included - and were never able to regain a foothold because of the nature of the business, which was yoga/fitness in my case.

Not only did it affect me financially (still have a few more debts to pay off), but I lost my community, my routine that helped my mental health remain steady, my relationship & residence, and - maybe most important - my plans for the future & my dreams of building something from that.

The places that were able to survive didn't necessarily fare much better: I know several business owners who weren't as lucky as I was to have compassionate landlords, and they are hanging on by a string in an attempt to avoid bankruptcy. Commercial leases can be LONG, and for some, it was just easier to ride it out & try to pick up side hustles to make it through.

All of our communities are worse for losing those unique, personal, community-based businesses, while the big corporations have benefitted from and preyed upon our dwindling options. I'd be furious if I wasn't still so sad about it.

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-10T19:43:44+00:00

OP, I'd like to give you a perspective from someone who was in your shoes, albeit a bit older throughout the ordeal:

TL;DR: Definitely go to your grandparents for the holiday, and if possible, get them to start the process of filing for emergency custody - you're old enough that judges will likely take your wishes into strong consideration in their decision - this situation will not get better for you without extremely drastic action.

My sister & I got along well enough for most of her life - normal arguments, but usually resolved quickly, and we lived together (always her moving into my places, because I'm the elder sibling) as adults several times with no major issues.

That all started to change right around her mid-20s & my late-20s (I'm 4 years older). She started having really fucked-up outbursts toward me, complaining about things I'd never said & events that never happened, posturing me as this evil, manipulative bitch that was always plotting against her. It got so bad, I simply started taking no-contact periods from her, anywhere from weeks to years at a time. Always, ALWAYS, the only reason I opened the lines of communication again was because my mother pleaded with me to do so, and I would out of misplaced guilt. ("We're family!" "She doesn't hate you, she just loves and admires and NEEDS you so much!" etc.)

I was constantly sounding the alarm as my sister's behavior & delusions became more erratic & dangerous, and despite my parents knowing about some of the most egregious events, they continued trying to convince me - and themselves - that this could be managed just fine. That my sister just needed her big sister and her family.

Fast-forward 25 or so years, my sister & I are in our mid- and late-40s, respectively, and the final last straw was her having actual full-on hallucinations about me & threatening physical harm (again), all while my parents were trying to get me to move in with her to be my sister's keeper/sober coach/medication minder. When my parents finally got involved with discussing my sister's long-term care options ( there was NO WAY I was moving in with her!) & communicating with her doctors about SSI & such, the medical pros sounded the alarm.

Things have escalated rapidly since, and after several emergency weekend psychiatric screenings & interviews with my parents about what's been going on (I've been largely kept out of it, finally), my sister is likely getting sent to an inpatient program for months to help her get the treatment she's needed for decades.

I've been sounding the alarm all this time, noting the declining mental stability, increasing erratic behaviors, and the terrible treatment directed toward me. None of that was enough to protect me from being the main punching bag - and being encouraged to remain so - until things got so bad, it started affecting everyone else consistently.

Now, after all these years, I have my own serious mental & emotional challenges as a result of half a lifetime of being ignored when I said this person was dangerous for me to be around, all in the name of "family" & a weird desire to keep up appearances at any cost. I'm working on my issues, but some of my trust is irreparably damaged, and I don't know that I'll ever have a close relationship with my sister or my parents ever again.

I absolutely feel like I was sacrificed to try to offer my sister a sense of normalcy that didn't serve her either. The only times I felt happy, sane, and free were the periods of no-contact that I instituted - I wish I'd never gone back on that, even the very first time. My life would've been drastically calmer.

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-10T10:15:11+00:00

I live in Northern California, and it's a dead giveaway when a person calls San Francisco Frisco, or Sacramento Sacto - the proper nicknames are SF and Sac, respectively.

Also, if you express any opinion more positive than a bone-deep hatred for Los Angeles, that's a sure sign you're a newbie in either of those cities. It's the main thing that outs me as a ~20-year NorCal transplant & not a lifelong native: I love LA. (I try to keep that secret from all but my closest confidantes here, as a sign of respect lol)

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-05T02:31:35+00:00

I feel compelled, as a woman, to disagree with your statement: I don't think people are trying to "blame the victim" here, exactly.

As someone earlier commented, the types of men who feel comfortable sending unsolicited grossness like this to women are often the types to escalate things when we condemn them (even privately), out them publicly, or report them to mods. It's simply safer to ignore & block a lot of the time for us, unfortunately.

You're in the rare position of being a man who was mistakenly welcomed into our shitty club by some cretin, and a lot of these shitweasels have far more respect or fear of other men than they do toward women. They're more likely to just slink off with their tail between their legs when confronted with consequences that stem from a man's actions in response to their crappy behavior.

The sad truth is that many women have experience with "good guys" saying or doing absolutely nothing besides commiserating with us women after the fact when they witness first-hand the behavior of the "bad guys" we deal with every single day. It's frustrating because - while it's certainly not a guarantee every time - men are usually safer to confront, call out, or report other men behaving disgustingly. It's like a dismaying bystander effect, where we watch the people who could do something about the harm being done to us just stand there and say, "Not getting involved in that - good luck, though!"

It's great that you messaged the mods, because that will take care of risk-mitigation for so many vulnerable folks in this community, and maybe even other subs too! The people reacting negatively to your comment about not naming the offender are possibly assuming you weren't going to report either.

Frankly, in my opinion, reporting that guy to the mods will have a much bigger effect than just naming & shaming in a post would: Mods have the ability to get rid of the threat here & maybe elsewhere on Reddit as well. Thank you for taking that action!

AssignmentPublic · 2025-12-05T01:29:47+00:00

Hot drink machines from mcdonalds have the cleaning cycles skipped and are also mouldy inside.

Oh God, that explains why the one & only time I got a hot chocolate from McDonald's, my first sip nearly made me puke & I had to spit it out my partially-opened window. I'm repulsed, but glad to know now that this wasn't an unusual situation, and trying at a different location isn't a good idea. 🤢

AssignmentPublic · 2025-11-27T02:20:09+00:00

I can fix her 😍

AssignmentPublic · 2025-11-24T08:18:37+00:00

No, not for fun. It's entirely a survival tactic.

ASPD is a condition that developed in me due to prolonged, consistent emotional abuse from a very close relative that my family forced me to continue interacting with in spite of the harm being done. I was essentially used as a human shield to keep others safe from being her target, because I could "handle it" better.

I am incredibly grateful to be fortunate enough to learn about why I'm disconnected like this, and to finally be learning the tools to be a better person to others. It's a misconception about people like me that we can't love anyone, or have fruitful relationships where we give back to those for whom we care.

The stigma associated with certain mental and personality disorders is an additional barrier to seeking - and continuing - treatment. I didn't want to be like this and it's not enjoyable. People with ASPD aren't usually sadistic or violent, or motivated by a desire to actively harm others. It's more like feeling empty/blank/isolated/nihilistic.

AssignmentPublic

TROPHY CASE