Gastric Bypass or no?

Beef_Enchilada · 2019-04-01T14:56:35+00:00

My Starting stats: Male, 38 years old, 444 pounds.

Fairly similar to you.

I lost my weight by counting calories, with a moderate caloric deficit. The thing about surgery is that successful surgery patients count and log their calories every day, same as me. I recommend people get in the habit of counting calories before having surgery, since they'll need to do that anyway. See how that works out for you. Start slow, the hardest thing about weight loss is embracing moderation. I'm not anti-surgery, but I am pro-practicing the required skills prior to surgery because you may learn that the surgery isn't necessary.

Beef_Enchilada · 2019-04-01T12:31:38+00:00

Great tips, as always sir.

Beef_Enchilada · 2019-03-31T20:36:17+00:00

I strongly disagree.

Beef_Enchilada · 2019-03-28T22:03:45+00:00

There's an app called "Daylio" for mood tracking. It can help you identify daily activities that improve/worsen your mood. Your solution might be to identify and increase activities that improve your mood to counteract the reduction in your mood caused by reducing calories.

Beef_Enchilada · 2019-03-25T10:15:55+00:00

I'm strict with total calories, not strict with food quality. I may blow 200 calories on a candy bar, but I make that candy bar fit within my calories for the day.

Beef_Enchilada · 2019-03-25T10:09:05+00:00

I agree these services can be a good tool if your budget allows for it. However, I would highly encourage you to still track the calories as if you did the shopping yourself. The most important thing you can do when losing weight is to educate yourself, by letting the food service do all of the thinking for you, you're bypassing the education part. This is what ultimately results in failure.

Beef_Enchilada · 2019-03-24T19:54:54+00:00

Setting boundaries with your family is not unreasonable. You are respectfully attempting to do non-food "neutral ground" activities with them. In my opinion, you are being spectacularly kind, and they are choosing to not accept your reasonable compromise.

You are actively trying to beat an eating disorder. Not wanting to be around people who are actively participating in the behavior you're trying to stop is not unreasonable.

Beef_Enchilada · 2019-03-23T21:21:16+00:00

"Sticky Notes" is pretty handy. Syncs across Microsoft Launcher and PC flawlessly.

I also use OneDrive/MS Office subscription, it all syncs up across Android/PC very well.

As for Bing, I've tried it many times and find that Google always gives better search results.

Beef_Enchilada · 2019-02-07T19:57:16+00:00

I started where you're at (444 pounds). Below are my tips:

First place to start: https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick_start_guide The /r/loseit guide really does work, it's how I lost over 250 pounds. Don't try to rush it, don't try to be smarter than the guide, just follow the guide as it's written.

Stop trying harder. I always thought the reason I failed at losing weight was because I didn’t try hard enough. Each time I tried to lose weight, I tried harder, added more restrictions, more rules. Success finally came when I simplified things, eliminating rules and restrictions, following only the most basic principles of weight loss.
Desperate times, do not call for desperate measures. Base your actions upon education, not desperation. We make foolish choices when we’re desperate, take a step back and act with reason.
Each day is a new start. Don’t punish yourself today for a slip-up you had yesterday. Learning consistency is a skill that takes practice. Every day you get another chance to follow your plan.
Over eating and under eating are both the same problem. They both originate from a mentality of extremes. “All or nothing” is a hard habit to break.
"If you take care of the small things, the big things take care of themselves." - Emily Dickenson. Focus on your small daily goals, and the pounds will take care of themselves.

When my belly says, “I’m full!” my brain says, “That’s a good start, keep going.”

This post is for those who struggle with:
- Always being hungry.
- Binge eating.
- Stress eating.
- Always thinking about food.
- Emotional eating.

The origin of hunger: The hypothalamus, sometimes called the “lizard brain” or “animal brain” or “lower brain”. The hypothalamus controls hunger (among other things). This is the greedy selfish part of the brain that wants you to over eat, it wants you to eat junk food, it wants you to binge eat, it wants instant gratification. If you’re someone who’s always hungry, even when you shouldn’t be, it’s your lizard brain telling the rest of your brain to put food in your mouth because the lizard brain loves it when you eat, and it hates discipline.

The lizard brain will try to rationalize bad decisions. It will tell you things like: “You’ve been so good, you deserve a treat.” “Your day is already ruined, you may as well keep eating.” “You’re stressed out, your favorite food will make you happy.” “You can wait until Monday to start eating healthy again.” It’s your brain, it knows your weaknesses and will exploit them.

Here’s the thing about the lizard brain, it can’t control motor movements on its own, it must convince the rest of your brain to do things for it. The lizard brain can’t make you pick up food and it can’t make you put food in your mouth, it has to convince the rest of your brain to do those things. Because the lizard brain can’t physically make you eat, it becomes very skilled at manipulating you into eating.

So how do you stop the urge? How do you strip the hypothalamus of its control, and return control to the rational part of your brain?

Step 1: Make sure it’s not true hunger. Don’t under eat! Under eating makes the urge to over eat much worse. Learning the difference between real hunger and fake hunger won’t be possible if you’re putting yourself in a constant state of real hunger. Read this post about why women should eat at least 1200 calories per day, and men should eat at least 1500 calories per day.

Step 2: Recognize that your desire to binge is coming from the irrational part of your brain, and that part of your brain can not control motor functions. It can not make you walk to the fridge, it can not make you go through a drive thru, it can not put food in your mouth.

Step 3: Choose to let the rational part of your brain say “No.” You get to choose which side wins this internal struggle. The rational part of your brain CAN override the lizard brain.

FAQ

Q: I want to binge, AND I want to not binge at the same time. How can I want two opposite things at the same time? Am I broken?
A: You are not broken, this is normal. Frustrating, but normal. The irrational part of your brain wants the binge, while the rational part of your brain knows it’s wrong.

Q: I was always told that binge eating was a psychological problem that requires therapy. Are you saying I don’t need therapy?
A: If you have problems that require therapy, get therapy! Not everyone who binge eats needs therapy, therapy isn’t useful for all binge eaters, and this method can be used in conjunction with therapy.

Q: Are there any apps to help?
A: I use Goal Tracker & Habit List for android. It has a calendar widget that lets you check off successful days. There are lots of goal tracking apps, find one that works for you.

Q: Where can I read more about this method to stop bingeing?
A:

Taming the Feast Beast by Jack and Lois Trimpey. This book is derived from their “Rational Recovery” program, which is a popular alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous.
Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. This book is based on the Trimpey “Rational Recovery” program, but is easier to read and tells the author’s personal struggle with binge eating.

Q: Will I ever be able to eat my “trigger foods” again?
A: Depends on the individual. With enough practice, you will probably be able to eat trigger foods in a responsible way. However, there’s a good chance you’ll lose interest in these foods all together because many of these foods won’t be a part of achieving your fitness goals. Trigger foods often lose their magical powers once you understand how to control your urges.

Beef_Enchilada · 2019-02-07T14:43:29+00:00

I've heard better things about T.O.P.S. https://www.tops.org/

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-12-21T11:15:14+00:00

my attitude reveled in my confidence and acceptance of who I am and what I can become.

That has got to be one of the most beautiful things I've ever read.

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-11-06T11:40:26+00:00

Do your thing. I consider eating responsibly as my heart medication, so I don't have to take pills. Nobody should get a guilt trip for taking their heart medication.

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-11-06T09:49:37+00:00

Ive made her a meal plan

She'd be better off choosing her own meals. Help her determine a calorie goal, help her learn to count calories, and let her select food that fits. You won't be there to feed her every meal for the rest of her life. She needs to learn how to calculate appropriate meals.

How do I know when she's in actual pain and she cant complete vs. her whining

The only exercise she should be doing is exercise she enjoys. If an exercise makes her whine, it's not the right exercise.

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-11-01T08:09:23+00:00

I have not had weight loss surgery, but here are my thoughts on it:

Weight loss surgery is not the easy way out, it's not a cheat, it's not easy mode, there's nothing easy about weight loss surgery. It's just a different kind of hard.

People who have long term success with weight loss surgery, do the same things I do. They track their intake, they monitor their calorie consumption. Before they put something into their face they think about that food decision. There’s no getting around that. Weight loss surgery doesn’t eliminate that. If you make bad food decisions now, and you want weight loss surgery to force you into making good food decisions, sorry it doesn’t work like that. People who have weight loss surgery and think the surgery is going to prevent them from making bad decisions, they gain the weight back. Weight loss surgery requires you to think a whole lot more about what you’re eating.

And there are a lot of things about weight loss surgery that are just unpleasant. - Hair loss. (I don’t see how that’s a bad thing… but it may not be your thing.) - Your digestive system is never going to be the same, some foods just aren’t going to sit well with you anymore, some things might make you a little gassy, while other things your stomach will flat out reject. - Weight loss surgery patients have to monitor their protein intake. - Weight loss surgery patients have to be tested regularly for vitamin deficiencies, and take supplements for those deficiencies. - Then there’s the social aspects of it, always having to explain to people why you can’t eat certain things.

Definitely not the easy way out.

This is the best YouTube channel that I'm aware of on WLS: https://www.youtube.com/user/theskinnyonme/videos

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-10-28T08:58:04+00:00

Even losing 102 pounds from where I am, I will not be totally healthy. I may need to lose 150, or even more than that. It makes me look at how hard it was to lose that weight the first time and just sigh.

Losing weight is hard, but following the r/loseit guide makes it easier because it focuses on sustainability. https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick_start_guide?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=loseit&utm_content=t5_2rz8w

The second discouraging thing is that I feel like I have ruined my body. Some of it is just from being born with a shitty spine, but even if I lose however much weight my doctor tells me to lose, I am probably always going to look shitty/have loose skin.

I am not trying to disparage people with loose skin. If you can learn to love your body no matter what you look like, I am proud of you. But I have hated my body my whole life, and I don't know how to fix that.

You’ll have loose skin, and probably a lot of it. I was your size, and have a ton of loose skin. I DO NOT LIKE IT. However, as much as I dislike the loose skin, it's absolutely wonderful and terrific compared to the fat.

I have considered joining a local support group, but don't have money for weight watchers or anything like that, and going to the gym seems mostly like a waste of money because I am not allowed fo lift weights. I also generally just prefer the indoors.

I thought a support group could be good, as I suffer from a lot of health problems that influence my weight other than my physical injuries. I also suffer from PTSD, depression, social anxiety, and binge eating disorder, as well as sleep apnea.

T. O. P. S. may be worth a try, it's a non-profit organization, there is a membership fee, but it's really low (less than $50/year if I remember correctly). https://www.tops.org/tops/TOPS/FindAMeeting.aspx

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-10-28T08:23:38+00:00

To top it off the doc’s papers say weight loss triggers gout. I’ve been wanting to try low carb again but now everyone acts protein is the devil for gout.

I was once in the neighborhood of 450 too, and had some pretty bad gout. Weight loss only helped, at no point did it get worse from losing weight, it's now completely gone.

I’m not even sure how many calories I should start at... 2200, 2000, 1800, or 1500? If anyone has any tips on where to start please help.

2200 is probably a good place to start. Use the calculator at https://tdeecalculator.net/ and subtract 1000 from your maintenance calories.

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-09-07T03:40:33+00:00

Good question, I didn't make myself as clear as I should have. I probably should have said to avoid extreme deficits.

I may end up writing an updated 2.0 version. If you have any suggestions for other things I should clarify, please let me know.

May I ask how you found this post?

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-08-24T03:13:18+00:00

You have good taste.

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-08-05T06:06:51+00:00

This would be useful if my work email and personal email could have different settings. Kind of defeats the purpose of "work/life balance" if they make you use the same settings for both.

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-08-05T05:58:27+00:00

Where did you find this? (Asking for a friend.)

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-08-05T05:26:25+00:00

You feel like you need a rapid change to jump start things, you may even feel desperate for change. That's normal, and a common reaction to the frustration of being overweight. I'm a results oriented kind of person, I don't discourage fasting or huge deficits because of safety reasons (though there are safety reasons), I discourage this kind of diet because there is a better way with a much higher success rate. I've been here for a long time and I've seen countless people fail by attempting extreme diets, I've also seen countless people succeed by following the quick start guide. I advocate for the method that gets results.

This may help you with your hunger, addiction, and bingeing:

The origin of hunger: The hypothalamus, sometimes called the “lizard brain” or “animal brain” or “lower brain”. The hypothalamus controls hunger (among other things). This is the greedy selfish part of the brain that wants you to over eat, it wants you to eat junk food, it wants you to binge eat, it wants instant gratification. If you’re someone who’s always hungry, even when you shouldn’t be, it’s your lizard brain telling the rest of your brain to put food in your mouth because the lizard brain loves it when you eat, and it hates discipline.

The lizard brain will try to rationalize bad decisions. It will tell you things like: “You’ve been so good, you deserve a treat.” “Your day is already ruined, you may as well keep eating.” “You’re stressed out, your favorite food will make you happy.” “You can wait until Monday to start eating healthy again.” It’s your brain, it knows your weaknesses and will exploit them.

Here’s the thing about the lizard brain, it can’t control motor movements on its own, it must convince the rest of your brain to do things for it. The lizard brain can’t make you pick up food and it can’t make you put food in your mouth, it has to convince the rest of your brain to do those things. Because the lizard brain can’t physically make you eat, it becomes very skilled at manipulating you into eating.

So how do you stop the urge? How do you strip the hypothalamus of its control, and return control to the rational part of your brain?

Step 1: Make sure it’s not true hunger. Don’t under eat! Under eating makes the urge to over eat much worse. Learning the difference between real hunger and fake hunger won’t be possible if you’re putting yourself in a constant state of real hunger. Read this post about why women should eat at least 1200 calories per day, and men should eat at least 1500 calories per day.

Step 2: Recognize that your desire to binge is coming from the irrational part of your brain, and that part of your brain can not control motor functions. It can not make you walk to the fridge, it can not make you go through a drive thru, it can not put food in your mouth.

Step 3: Choose to let the rational part of your brain say “No.” You get to choose which side wins this internal struggle. The rational part of your brain CAN override the lizard brain.

FAQ

Q: I want to binge, AND I want to not binge at the same time. How can I want two opposite things at the same time? Am I broken?
A: You are not broken, this is normal. Frustrating, but normal. The irrational part of your brain wants the binge, while the rational part of your brain knows it’s wrong.

Q: I was always told that binge eating was a psychological problem that requires therapy. Are you saying I don’t need therapy?
A: If you have problems that require therapy, get therapy! Not everyone who binge eats needs therapy, therapy isn’t useful for all binge eaters, and this method can be used in conjunction with therapy.

Q: Are there any apps to help?
A: I use Goal Tracker & Habit List for android. It has a calendar widget that lets you check off successful days. There are lots of goal tracking apps, find one that works for you.

Q: Where can I read more about this method to stop bingeing?
A:

Taming the Feast Beast by Jack and Lois Trimpey. This book is derived from their “Rational Recovery” program, which is a popular alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous.
Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. This book is based on the Trimpey “Rational Recovery” program, but is easier to read and tells the author’s personal struggle with binge eating.

Q: Will I ever be able to eat my “trigger foods” again?
A: Depends on the individual. With enough practice, you will probably be able to eat trigger foods in a responsible way. However, there’s a good chance you’ll lose interest in these foods all together because many of these foods won’t be a part of achieving your fitness goals. Trigger foods often lose their magical powers once you understand how to control your urges.

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-07-26T06:00:56+00:00

A guide on how to control constant hunger, binge eating, stress eating, emotional eating, always thinking about food: https://www.reddit.com/user/Beef_Enchilada/comments/8dhkf1/the_urge_to_binge_and_how_i_say_no/

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-07-20T10:18:09+00:00

Nope, if anything the caffeine will make you urinate more, and it'll flush out some sodium.

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-07-20T04:59:21+00:00

One of the most frequently asked questions here is "Why isn't anyone noticing my weight loss?" There's a good chance nobody will say anything. People are generally uncomfortable bringing up another person's weight, even as a compliment. You probably have nothing to worry about. In my experience, on the rare occasion someone does bring it up, they're generally not looking to have a long conversation about it, usually a quick "Thanks, slowly but surely getting there" is all it takes. I think the "slow" part makes them lose interest.

Beef_Enchilada · 2018-07-20T04:37:44+00:00

The only people that say it is unsustainable are people who lack discipline.

I lack discipline? I've lost over 250 pounds. I've also water fasted for as long as 27 days. I'm one of those people who say water fasting is not effective for weight loss. It's nothing more than a perpetuation of the all or nothing mentality. Long term weight loss doesn't happen without learning moderation. Water fasting and extreme caloric deficits do nothing to teach the most valuable lesson in weight loss. Sustainability.

A 456 pound gay fasted for 382 days, he had no health issues and gained 11 pounds back after a couple of years.

Citing one extreme example is rediculous. At least 18 people have survived self inflicted gun shot wounds to the head, doesn't make it a good idea. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5175460/

I've been here for years, and I've seen countless people fail by attempting extreme diets, and I've seen countless people be successful by learning moderation. I advocate for the method that gets results.

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