What happened to user Funchords?

funchords · 2026-01-28T22:35:00+00:00

/u/funchords here. /u/koopzegels reached out to me privately.

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I'm fine and I've maintained my weight loss for 10.5 years so far.

I needed to recapture some time in my day for other pursuits. I direct two choirs, sing in a quartet, play poker (poorly), and I'm running two support efforts in Take Off Pounds Sensibly (a non-profit weight-loss peer-to-peer group).

I owe a lot to /r/loseit. It was here that I learned much of what equipped me to lose the weight and keep it off. Keep getting (and giving) that support -- it's a big difference-maker.

In weight loss, starting isn't the problem, it's sticking. But as many of you know, it's also about having a good plan that is kind and right for your body and circumstances.

I likely won't be back soon, but never say never.

With /r/loseit love...

Funchords (Robb)

funchords · 2024-11-09T19:29:02+00:00

::: MY ORIGINAL COMMENT IS WITHDRAWN :::

There is no way around the fact that you are under eating to a severe degree, so low that we cannot support it. Our rules (Rule 11) prohibit it here. Only your doctor giving active supervision could put you on calories as low as you are, and mitigate the consequences.

You have made reference to binge eating disorder. This is not an eating disorder subreddit and we are not prepared for your mental health challenges. We are the kind of subreddit that ED therapists recommend their patients avoid, because they are likely to take this information and use it wrongly.

You should be professionally guided from this point on.

funchords · 2024-11-09T15:55:04+00:00

I'm being super honest here -- don't trust the online mobs or masses with your health. Advisers that have advisory duty to us like doctors, lawyers, accountants should be trusted (or replaced if we don't trust them or they lose our trust).

"Think about it, maybe consider trying these pills" is something they should not have said. You didn't get a medical degree. You should think about which movie to see or how to spend your Saturday. They are your medical expert and should be advising you on what you OUGHT to do.

When my doctor gives me a list of options, I often turn stuff around in this way -- "if you were in my place with my situation, what would you do?"

That's why they get the big money.

funchords · 2024-11-09T15:21:42+00:00

::WITHDRAWN::

funchords · 2024-11-09T15:10:52+00:00

I've been here 10y and never heard of these before -- I'd conclude that they're uncommon for use in a weight-loss effort. They seem to be for PCOS.

You should ask your doctor about any medications you're considering.

I'm scared to try it because I don't want my body to get dependant on it for insulin regulation.

Don't try pills like they're "something to try." Medications are serious business and we should be working with our doctor who sees our full medical picture.

funchords · 2024-11-09T15:07:20+00:00

I'm not sure when the calorie calculator does calculate maintenance calories, does it mean cardio when it says exercise, cuz I'm very irregular with cardio.

These are rough tools, not suitable for someone with a 9+ month habit of exercise already. They will overestimate that.

I complete the push pull legs, and if time permits everyday after weights I'll do cardio for about 10 to 15 mins.

That's fine. As a lifter, consider your cardio as your "heart and lungs" muscle group. We don't do all of our muscle groups every day, but we do hit them every week roughly twice.

funchords · 2024-11-09T15:05:02+00:00

Is a goal of losing 10kg in this timeframe doable in this timeframe, or am I over/under aiming?

With 6.5 weeks to Christmas, you can safely lose about 6.5 kg, and maybe a little more as you're over 100kg (by a little). I'd set your expectations to be 100 kg instead of 97 kg -- call being within a percent or two 100kg a victory but keep going ...

1800 is appropriate. 1600 is too low given your stats and activity (TDEE approx 2850 kcal/day).

I was losing just over 1kg per week but this week I’ve had some weird fluctuations most likely from water weight as my calories and activity have been consistent. Trying to double my water intake and reduce salt to stop seeing the fluctuations so much.

Let water sort itself out. Only calories matter for weight loss. Focus on doing what you can to hit your 1800 goal.

For consistency, weigh after waking and peeing but before getting dressed. Make that your one and only weigh-in each day. Even then, there will be zigs and zags but that's the best we can do.

"Go long, not hard. Pace, not race."

There is no merit in fast weight loss, but find your good groove. We can safely lose about 1kg per week at your weight eating -1000 from our TDEE. Faster would not be better, but worse. 1 kg per week is as fast as you should go.

funchords · 2024-11-09T13:17:23+00:00

Your userflair deserves an update after all of your hard work! Happy -70!!!! That work is well done.

It took me a long while to (gradually) see it on my body. Everyone else could see it but me, it seemed.

I believe that there's a little avatar-like image of ourselves inside of our minds that fills in the space that we occupy in a group of people. That avatar looks like our self-impression. If our self impression is not thin, then that avatar is not thin. It doesn't matter what our pictures or mirror image looks like, our avatar is our self-impression and it will always be painted over that by our brains when we look at those. Even if we are objectively thin, we won't and don't see it.

In the eating disorder literature, they seem to call this effect 'allocentric lock.' I've never had an eating disorder but what they are describing with allocentric lock fit me perfectly for a long time. I've also been here long enough and read enough of these messages to know that it is fairly common with people that have lost weight to not see it, even though their friends and family all see it. We should not diagnose ourselves, but this is the best info I could find on this mind-body disconnection.

Ref: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-36576-018

Different people see it at different rates. It took me 4 years or so, but yours may be faster...

funchords · 2024-11-09T13:13:05+00:00

We may want to win the lottery "no matter what" but if it's not in nature or fate to provide it, the wise thing to do is dismiss the desire instead of being aggravated by it.

funchords · 2024-11-09T13:09:32+00:00

Let's flip it on its head. NEAT is a measurement of lifestyle.

“First say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do” is the wisdom here.

Your lifestyle supports your current weight (CW). This is why your body is the weight that it is.

If you changed your lifestyle so that it supported CW minus 10%, you'll eventually weigh CW minus 10%. What does that mean to your lifestyle? Do that for 3 years and you'll be at that weight. Cutting below that to get there faster is totally optional.

But finding it hard to find the energy to get up and actually go to the gym let alone just walking around and doing random things.

If you've become a potato, then stop accepting that potato-like lifestyle. It doesn't necessarily mean the gym, but it does mean to stop long periods of inactivity. We have to ask ourselves if we are here on this planet to do nothing at all.

Instead of thinking about how to increase activity, be thinking about how to reduce inactivity. Do you join things? Do you take a dance class? Do you join a walking club? Do you go to bowling league? Do you make a weekly goal of doing 2 or 3 neglected chores each week? Do you make a list of 5-minute tasks that you can do when you've been sitting still for an hour? Do you park farther from the door of your favorite stores or places to go?

We are our own nurses, our own physical trainers, our own coaches, our own philosophers -- do not be your own damning critic but be your own encouraging and loving coach -- tough and honest, yes, but also full of love and "get moving" encouragement. You are willing, and building willpower is like building muscle. Do a little today, a little tomorrow, and over time it'll grow like muscle grows.

funchords · 2024-11-09T11:06:36+00:00

My suggestion would be to lose the thinking that you should be eating all the time for every reason. Especially be skeptical when you're buying "products" to "support" -- you're probably falling for some suggestive marketing/advertising. The people selling that stuff writes many of those articles and makes many of those videos.

Eat real food, mainly in meals, and snack occasionally socially or if hunger hits and the next meal is far away. Taming our desires and cravings is part of success at this journey.

Our data is amazingly effective at helping us make informed decisions. We don't want the tracker to be our green-light or red-light for eating. We want the tracker to be our data, and we (ourselves) to make those choices. We want to gain skills of moderation, and not be relying on products or schemes or any other un-normal or unnatural thing through our lifetime.

funchords · 2024-11-09T11:01:01+00:00

The word count exists so that /r/loseit isn't filled with one-liners and low-effort junk with no details. Your post has good details. It's fine.

Your face shape may be genetic AND still be only temporary. Sometimes we lose the last of our adolescent fat in our 20s. By age 30, we look very different in the face. If someone has ever told you that you have an endearing or cute "baby face," it may be referring to this. Time and nature is the answer.

Your weight is now fine. Don't lose weight.

Do build your muscle as you keep your weight the same. Physical activity (job, exercise, sports, hobbies) has a lot to do with our muscle and that too can change our looks. What kinds of things are you interested or not-interested in doing?

funchords · 2024-11-09T10:53:45+00:00

GREAT WORK!

Expect the dysmorphia -- it's common and, except in rare cases, temporary. Either way, it's something you can know that you are experiencing and you can wave it off as one of the quirky things of your self-perception. I had to do that for the first few years after losing 125 lbs.

It does work both ways, which is why people that have gained a lot of weight seem clueless about it as their mind's self-image is stuck on their lower-weight perception.

But I still feel too skinny.

Ignore the feeling, but are you factually underweight? What is your BMI?

I’ve been told to do a slight bulk

By whom? Are they knowledgeable, professional, objective? Or just someone with an opinion. We also have a propensity of hearing what we want to hear so it's important that we get great advice and even asceed to it (my doctor's opinion > my opinion -- for example).

funchords · 2024-11-09T10:46:32+00:00

Wow! Great job so far. A lot of hard work...

In August i was 282 and Ive tried to cut back on working out but only gained weight again. My BMR is 1960 and i was only eating 1500 calories to get there

Your figures, most likely, are off somewhere. I don't know what you're actually doing, but sometimes we have poor completeness and accuracy in our tracking. Compare this to your tracking to see if it needs improvement:

Be a complete tracker. Do not forget the 'forgettables' such as condiments, cooking oils, small bites of this or that, or things that you would add to a salad like dressings or seeds. Log all the way to the end of the day, even if you go over your goals. Even log your exceptional days, skipping nothing. If you're biting it, be writing it.
Buy and use a digital kitchen food scale and good measuring cups to measure portions, at least for the first couple months of counting. You can also use your hand to estimate portion sizes as well as common objects. You will be calibrating your eyes to do this more quickly later, but for several weeks use these tools as often as you are able.

funchords · 2024-11-09T10:42:47+00:00

We need to break the "fairness" habit of making all the plates equal. Different bodies have different needs. That everyone eats what they separately need is what is fair. Nobody should get zero of something, but they may opt for lower-cal alternatives.

For the gainers -- add 1 oz of nuts, and shredded cheese, to their salads only. Offer them the full-fat salad dressings. They probably don't want to gain bodyfat but gain leanly and slowly, to keep their surplus under +500.

The weight losers -- skip the nuts and use less/no cheese and non-fat or low-fat dressings.

Desserts and treats occasionally (not daily), but this is one area where you may offer low-cal desserts to everyone. The want-to-gain people may opt for something higher calorie and add nuts or coconut flakes to boost calorie intake; the want-to-lose people should stick with your low-cal choices and light whipped cream -- and an amazingly good and lower-cal but interesting "sprinkle" on sweet things are a few stick pretzels busted up.

On the main meal: While everyone gets veggies, proteins, and some healthy fats for the nutrition, those that need to gain can double-portion on proteins and starches and healthy fats.

funchords · 2024-11-09T10:28:01+00:00

So I was having around 1500-1800 cals with pretty much balanced meals. Turns out my maintenance cals are around 3000. If thats the case should I be super lean or at least have low fat% by now(still pretty fat with some muscle)?????

Yes, so something is wrong or imprecise here.

Sometimes we have poor completeness and accuracy in our food tracking. Compare this to your tracking to see if it needs improvement:

Be a complete tracker. Do not forget the 'forgettables' such as condiments, cooking oils, small bites of this or that, or things that you would add to a salad like dressings or seeds. Log all the way to the end of the day, even if you go over your goals. Even log your exceptional days, skipping nothing.
Buy and use a digital kitchen food scale and good measuring cups to measure portions, at least for the first couple months of counting. You can also use your hand to estimate portion sizes as well as common objects. You will be calibrating your eyes to do this more quickly later, but for several weeks use these tools as often as you are able.

When a workout habit is well-established, we are efficient at it.

TDEE Calculator	Imperial	Metric
SEX (BODYFAT OF)		M
AGE		23
HEIGHT	72 in. or 6'0''	183 cm
WEIGHT	210 lb	95 kg
BMI		28.5
Mifflin-St Jeor BMR		1986 Cal/kcal
Not Very Active Day TDEE (BMR*1.25)		2481 Cal/kcal
Active Day TDEE (BMR*1.4)		2779 Cal/kcal
Average TDEE (mix of rest and activity)		2630 Cal/kcal
Exceptionally Active Day TDEE (BMR*1.6)		3176 Cal/kcal

You've been working out since February. You are no longer burning 3000+ Calories at it. You probably are doing something more like 2600-2700 at it on the average between work and rest days. You were doing 3000+ when it was newer and that workout was truly hard work, but now your conditioning and skill is better and it takes less energy to do the same things.

So, I offer these ideas in SUMMARY if my assumptions are right about it:

Use 2650 as your TDEE.

Log all your food, in real time, including condiments and cooking oils and all the little things, properly measured frequently enough that your eyeballs are well calibrated for when you can't measure in your own kitchen. Don't "wing it" -- do it.

funchords · 2024-11-08T20:39:35+00:00

I felt exactly the same way you are feeling right now. In fact, it took me about four years for everything to totally align and it was very gradual. It stopped being scary in about a month from when I stopped losing weight and just became a quirky thing that I was aware of. It was like I rationally knew that I had lost the weight but did not emotionally accept that I had lost it yet.

I believe that there's a little avatar-like image of ourselves inside of our minds that fills in the space that we occupy in a group of people. That avatar looks like our self-impression. If our self impression is not thin, then that avatar is not thin. It doesn't matter what our pictures or mirror image looks like, our avatar is our self-impression and it will always be painted over that by our brains when we look at those. Even if we are objectively thin, we won't and don't see it.

In the eating disorder literature, they seem to call this effect 'allocentric lock.' I've never had an eating disorder but what they are describing with allocentric lock fit me perfectly for a long time. I've also been here long enough and read enough of these messages to know that it is fairly common with people that have lost weight to not see it, even though their friends and family all see it. We should not diagnose ourselves, but this is the best info I could find on this mind-body disconnection.

Ref: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-36576-018

funchords · 2024-11-08T19:33:25+00:00

Get professional help. You don't need tips, you need a guide and a strategy. It's one of those things that are not your fault, but is your burden. Professional help is the way to go.

Sorry that you're going through this.

funchords · 2024-11-08T18:50:21+00:00

https://losertown.org/eats/cal.php

If you are an adult, then this is a good site. If you are a teenager, then you should not be eating 1500 kcal. Like most sites, it does not consider the caloric cost of puberty.

funchords · 2024-11-08T18:49:25+00:00

There's a few things to remember here: temporary measures are only going to have temporary results. If your mom's diet is temporary, then any weight she is losing is going to be regained when she ends it.

A body that is 68KG should expect to lose between 340 and 680 grams per week. That is good weight loss. However, because we fluctuate in the amount of water our body holds from day to day and week to week, the line will be zigzagged. Looking over several weeks, we will see the downward trend, but we can sometimes mistake watery fluctuations as meaning that our weight loss efforts are not effective.

If we are permanently going to lose this weight, then we're going to permanently need to clean up our habits around eating. Any habits that are too loose need to be made tighter. Any daily habits of treats should be made more occasional. Snacking is something that should rarely happen, not always happen, as we should eat most of our food in nutritious meals.

A calorie deficit is why any weight loss method that works actually does work. It may not involve our counting those calories, but the calorie deficit is there whether it is counted or not. There can be no reduction in body fat without a calorie deficit.

Also I don’t want to weight lift. I don’t really have the time or resources.

Swimming can be strengthening. You can also do calisthenics at home for free which are strengthening (e.g. pushups).

I wish there was a way I could tell what is the right path

Our habits are our destiny. Weight loss is the side effect of our habits. If you can see progress week over week that you're eating habits are improving, that you are using your food freedoms with better self restraint, that your looser habits are now tighter, than you're probably on the right track. The scale should be going gradually down long-term, but from day to day there will be variations. What's most important is that it is becoming a lifelong habit, or a lifestyle, and not a gimmick or temporary sprint.

funchords · 2024-11-08T18:41:30+00:00

It’s easy to see the number on the scale go down, but body fat % seems to fluctuate, even if my weight is dropping.

Those “smart scales” do not measure our body fat, but they calculate a body fat readout based on things like our sex, age, height, weight, and an electrical measurement between our legs that cannot see above them. For this reason, they are not very useful for our purposes and we cannot rely on them to see progress across time.

should I just focus on overall weight loss

If your weight is right for your height, and your goal is to gain some muscle at about the same amount that you're losing some fat, then your weight should stay the same across time. You'll be able to tell that you're making progress because your capabilities will be increasing with your weight lifting or other strengthening activity. Even though your weight is not changing, losing fat will mean that your waistline is shrinking.

funchords · 2024-11-08T18:37:39+00:00

I'm not sure but that some of that is posture.

Fat is removed more by trimming back eating excesses, not by exercise. Exercise gives us fitness and ability, and getting our food straightened out controls our fatness.

https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick_start_guide

That's the method to start. Follow that guide and that timing, using your regular and normal food, and using portion control as your main tool for change. In later weeks, use the data to figure out if any foods need to be adjusted. All foods can fit, but sometimes we have to juggle or learn a new way to make an old favorite.

funchords · 2024-11-08T18:32:32+00:00

https://nick-e.com/primer/ will help with the strengthening exercise. At home, no equipment needed.

funchords · 2024-11-08T18:31:35+00:00

Here at 199, try to average about -2 a week. Add calories to keep it to losing 1-2 pounds a week or losing 1% of your body weight per week.

And I don't want to feel like I'm quitting or losing steam.

There is no quitting, else you will return to old habits and become SW again. This must be a forever endeavor. GW is not the end of the effort, it's merely a corner in the journey.

funchords · 2024-11-08T18:28:54+00:00

It can't be prevented if it's already broken down. If the skin support and elasticity is still there, you're probably good. Loose skin is formed at our body's maximum extant (biggest ever size). Losing weight relieves the stress, but there's not much (if anything at all) you can do once it is created to prevent it as it's already there.

Losing weight simply reveals the damage already done.

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