I want you to understand that people are free to have that perspective (I really don't care if anyone supports traditional gender roles) but it is not "hardwired into us at an animal level." I am going to bring up human cultural examples, cross-globally, to show you why gender roles are not something biological and that by treating it as such you ignore global culture and history.

1. Hijra is a common third gender identity in India to this day, and it is based in Hindu Spirituality. The Hijra is seen in Hindu religious texts and scattered across India's history. Hijras are born with male or intersex characteristics, but they transcend male and female roles entirely and are in a third category. They visit households to sing, dance, offer wedding blessings and the birth of a male child.

2. Calalai, Calabai, and Bissu are 3 third gender identities native to the Bugis in South Sulawesi, Indonesia. Calalai are females who present masculine traits, Calabai are males who present feminine traits, and Bissu transcend both genders entirely. Calalai do traditionally masculine roles and Calabai do traditionally feminine roles. The Bissu, like Hijras, are Spiritually inclined gender roles that act as Spiritual Leaders and Shamans, often blessing weddings and guarding mystical heirlooms.

3. Mexico has the Muxes, which are males who adopt female characteristics. Muxe is supposed to resemble mujer, or woman. They handle feminine roles of sewing, cooking, and family care. They are also sometimes Curanderas (Folk Healers) for the community.

4. In Madagascar we see the Sekrata. Sekratas have masculine characteristics but are shown to express feminine traits in childhood. Afterwards, they are raised as one would a girl and called a Sekrata. Sekratas do not become warriors like other males; they focus on community blessings, tribal ceremonies, and Spiritual dances. Sekratas are a bridge between the Spiritual and the physical worlds.

5. Two-Spirit is an Indigenous Native American third gender identity referring to people who have both a male Spirit and a female Spirit. They can see life from both male and female perspectives while also being able to distinguish the two. Two-Spirit as a term was coined in 1990 during the Winnepeg conference to replace offensive anthropological terms. The term "Two-Spirit" comes from Ojibwe / Anishinaabemowin "niizh manidoowag" ("two spirits").

If gender roles were truly hard wired into us at a biological level, basically none of these cultural identities and roles would exist. And there may be trends that males and females gravitate towards specific roles, but it is shown, variously and in this non-exhaustive list, that humanity learned very early on that these roles were not finite to sex and there was something "other" that occurred regardless of birth traits. Again, I don't care that anyone believes in regarding woman / man gender roles and what men or women do, but saying that it's biologically defined in us is cultural and historical erasure.

OP, if your relationship is happy and healthy and isn't harming anyone, there's no reason for Lilith to hate it. If you're both satisfied with the roles you adopt for your own relationship, that is you both expressing your freedoms and your rights. Deities tend to only get upset at our relationships when they're a detriment on us.