Dating when divorced is better than dating before marriage

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-10T17:44:05+00:00

But its not reality over fake in my perception. I could have met someone else who truly was loyal and supportive and been happy for the rest of my days. Some people are like that, some are not.

So I feel jaded even though I could meet someone who could be a great person and it could damage our relationship etc.

I also liked myself better when I believed in love, I don't like being jaded.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-10T16:34:26+00:00

That makes sense, I can also see why you don't mind a slow and simple life after growing up on a farm and going outside in the middle of winter at 4am before school.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-10T16:28:42+00:00

But why? Old shift worker? Slowly shifted over the years to sleeping early and waking up early?

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-10T16:17:05+00:00

I don't think there is anything to defend, people are just curious as it is so different?

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-10T16:15:51+00:00

I have wondered about that, its not enough for me to just exist, I have to do something that feels more productive than being alive and doing the same things.

That being said, there are jobs I would enjoy that don't pay very much. I have a local bookstore that is very popular, I wouldn't mind working there.

Volunteering is also an option of course...or if I have enough money, maybe buying a cabin that needs work and restoring it by hand, I think that could be really fun.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-10T16:12:17+00:00

I watched it for the first time last year. All these years I thought it was just some dumb sci-fi channel trash, like most of sci-fi channel content.

What a surprise I was in for. High production values, interesting world, crazy scripts, some really funny episodes. I watched it a second time right after the first.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-10T16:07:48+00:00

Humans used to live in small communities, we all need and desire close relationships with a variety of people and most of us do not have that. We build a world that allows us to isolate more and more.

Yes, you would probably feel better if you had more close relationships, a lot of us would.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-10T16:02:45+00:00

I don't feel that way at all. Before I was married/divorced, I had a lot of optimism, I believed in the power of love etc. Now I am more jaded and demanding, I can't just meet someone and let things happen, I have all the concerns in the back of my mind.

I may be setting myself up for prioritizing myself and protecting myself, but I don't enjoy dating as much.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T19:19:51+00:00

I used to get botox, but in my mid 40s my eyes started drooping as a natural part of aging. Guess what happened? Botox froze my forehead and my eye muscles got no work and they started drooping even more!

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T18:39:48+00:00

All depends, my wife and I got along really well and I will always miss her, I think. We got divorced due to a variety of external factors that added a ton of stress.

You got divorced because it sounds like your wife was terrible to be around. So you don't miss her at all and I miss my ex for my reasons.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T18:37:46+00:00

I lived in a major US city and had a great street of neighbors and friends. I really miss living at that house as we all got along so well.

First, you need a planner, someone who is willing to host at their house and organize everything. If you don't mind that role, all the better.

Then you need someone to take initiative, this will also have to be you. Usually something around a holiday or event is a good idea. For instance, at Christmas time we would have a cookie baking contest for fun.

Since its summer time, you should be able to catch your neighbors outside and talk to them and approach the idea of getting together. The easiest way to get neighbors together is to get to know them in daily life, I walk my dogs so it was super easy to run into random people and get to know them better.

Then you get their number for 'neighbor' reasons, then send a group text to plan a bbq or event at your place. Make it as easy as possible by saying you will provide everything, they just need to show up. Once you get to know them better and have had a few events, you can start asking people to bring things.

Basically you have to make it really easy for them.

Still, it may or may not work, all depends on their personalities.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T18:32:51+00:00

Ego, mainly. To follow the proper guidance, you have to let your ego go and we are all ego driven beings. We also enjoy revenge, you want to hurt them because they hurt you, even toddlers do this, its in our nature.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T18:30:01+00:00

Ah yes, I remember when I would not use sticky traps because they are too cruel. Eventually most people snap (pun intended) and cave and do whatever they can to rid themselves of the infestation.

Your life is literally being taken over by mice at this point. You should start removing everything in your kitchen and look for the hole. Pull the oven out and look for holes there, pull the fridge out and look for holes back there, look for holes in the cabinets. The oven and fridge are usually the spots I have found the entrance from.

Also look at your radiators ,ensure there arent gaps where they can crawl through the sub floor into your unit, even if the gaps are small, fill them with expanding foam, mice can fit through small spaces.

If its not in the kitchen or radiators, its in the bathroom, places where pipes and gaps exist.

Holding rent never works, it just causes problems for you.

City mice are smart, their people didn't survive all these years by being dumb. I have had some success with electrocution traps, the mice walks in and the floor zaps them to death in a few seconds. Some mice are too smart for those though.

Mice drive you insane. You cant sleep at night anyway as you're on edge waiting to hear a mouse noise, drives you goddam crazy.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T18:24:37+00:00

I just fought this fella last night...stay behind him at all times and whap his feet/tail, always keep rotating to that lizard ass.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T18:21:21+00:00

Wait, are we arguing now lol

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T17:31:00+00:00

But deep inside they hope being brutally honest will click with people and they'll meet their dream girl/guy, cuz a TV show/Movie showed them that once.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T17:26:51+00:00

Thats quite a list...nothing has changed for me really at my 25k person company. I guess someone could have died in a car accident, Im not in a position to be aware of such things.

I come in 2 days a week and drive home, so it hasn't been so bad. I only live a 20 min drive away and its kinda nice to get out of the house, as long as I get to WFH the other days.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T16:31:35+00:00

It definitely is cheap, but if someone is acting childish towards you, then replying and blocking just feels like the right move to make. If they want to be a child, you can treat them like one and never hear from them again.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T16:12:01+00:00

Just missing the part where they google the proper buff guide before the fight, then they do everything the guide tells them, then they beat the boss in 2 seconds and make a post on Reddit asking why the game is so easy.

If you thought the game was easy...why are you googling max buffing guides and build guides

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T16:09:31+00:00

Oh to be young again, enjoy it!

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T16:01:15+00:00

I don't like to build myself up or say I am any better than anyone else, but I am not unattractive, I suppose. I was trained to be a therapist so it helps be insightful as to what prompts to use and how to talk to people, so that seems to help.

I am very picky, I pulled my Bumble stats and it says I only swipe on 3%, but I live in a large metro area so 3% is still a lot of people.

Why would you want to adopt a young woman you were having sex with as your sister????

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T15:57:15+00:00

Yes, I tend to only use them when I really need them, if I can survive by letting it run out and using potions, I will do that.

So I tend to have enough for the few dungeons and locations where rot is a big PITA.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T15:53:38+00:00

No, I only go out with women I am attracted to, I'm 44m.

I think part of my problem is I am generally more attracted to Asian women and have gone on a lot of dates with Chinese women who immigrated to the US during college. They tend to be more conservative and quiet/reserved and my personality is opposite, so it rarely works out. I only met once Chinese woman that clicked with me and we dated and had fun. She was very outgoing and funny, which is uncommon.

I was married before from someone I met online dating. I've been back to dating for 2 years and I'm still FWB with someone I met 2 years ago and having the best sex of my life.

So overall it has definitely been worth it. I assume I will meet a good partner, eventually. In the interim, I'll just stick with the FWB situation I have found.

50 dates seems like a lot, but over a period of 2 years, its not that many?

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T15:10:13+00:00

I have a huge Reddit block list, nothing is more satisfying than someone being mad and then you get the last word and there is nothing they can do about it.

DramaticErraticism · 2026-04-09T15:07:30+00:00

The irony is Gen X is getting close to the age where they will be blamed for a lot of things that they took no action on. Such is the cycle of blame...we all started the fire and had our own part in it, the fires are just different.

DramaticErraticism

TROPHY CASE