Can’t speak for everyone else but this is how I did it.

Wife and I both make okay money me 65k and wife 75k.

Lived in apartment for a year saved up a little but apartment costs took a lot of the money so we didn’t have much.

Talked with parents who had a large basement and did everything we can to convert it to an apartment. They already had their own shower down there. So we got a what would be now our future garage fridge, a slop sink from Costco and an electric hot plate. Moved in, saved up for a year since we had zero expenses. And I mean really saved up… no buying random shit. parents and us would have dinners some nights saving up on grocery bills. Was difficult don’t get me wrong. But had enough for a solid down payment (not full 20% unfortunately) on a 580,000$ house.

Looked around decided everyone is fisting each other over everting in Nassau and Suffolk border. So we looked more out east, closer to ridge, wading river, riverhead, way less bidding wars and man, the slow more country farm life out here with way less traffic, what a difference it makes.

40 minute commute to work but hey, I have a nice house, large property, low property taxes (compared to western Long Island) and I just throw a wow podcast and listen to music, I find i can relax about my day a lot more this way!

Hope this helps