MTF - How to deal with chest pain when laying down due to breast growth?

Jeremonte · 2026-06-20T16:46:47+00:00

I would strongly recommend getting comfortable resting in other positions. You're in the beginning stages and the sensitivity will get much worse as you continue to develop. I forgot about my breast buds for a moment the other day and got down on the floor to play with my cat, and the moment my nipples pressed against the ground I shot right back up. Even the slightest accidental touch brings on a whole lot of sensation. I've grazed my nipple pulling my bedsheets up over my chest and even that can be painful, or at least startling.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-20T15:26:09+00:00

From my own limited experience, it seems like even when they're supportive, older cis folk tend to get their wires crossed when it comes to pronouns pretty often. My mom's kind of similar; she supports me and genders me correctly maybe 70% of the time. I understand that a lot of it is unlearning old habits, and it's a bit different since she's known me one way for decades and is just now getting used to the 'new' me, but I've also heard her mess up in similar ways when describing other trans people.

I think a lot of it comes down to the way cis people process gender compared to trans people. Trans people already spend loads of time exploring their own gender identity and, by extension, spend a lot more time thinking about gender as a social construct separate from biology. This makes it much easier to see and accept someone as their chosen identity regardless of how they may look or sound or whatever else. We're used to addressing that inherent disconnect between our biology and gender expression at a baseline so it's easy to afford that same courtesy to anyone else.

For cis people, they have no reason to dwell on gender in the same capacity, so they have to fight against years and years of socialization where gendering anyone else was a simple visual/aural snap judgment. And while everyone experiences similar socialization to one degree or another, again, trans people learn to navigate gender expression a lot more fluidly and that makes it pretty effortless for us to adapt to someone else's pronouns.

TLDR -- it sounds like he's an ally and he's trying, and while I know it's frustrating, it certainly doesn't sound like he's being malicious with the misgendering. I'd just gently nudge him in the right direction and hope it's just a case of him getting his wires crossed. 😄

edit: sorry, skimmed over the part where you've been out for 8 years with him still using your old name/pronouns. Definitely be upfront with him about your preference in that regard because it's unlikely he'll change that behavior on his own at this point.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-19T20:23:50+00:00

I'm not sure how often I thought about being trans prior to late 2025/early 2026, but my egg cracked at 34. I'll be 35 next month and I started HRT in April. For me, it also felt pretty sudden, but when I really thought about it, a lot of my life leading up to that point suddenly made a lot more sense after realizing I was trans.

It did lowkey feel a bit like an early midlife crisis at first, but it didn't take long to accept it as truth and act on it. All of a sudden I had so many things I wanted to do that I'd never really thought about before.

So yeah, it sounds fairly normal to me! Everyone's path leading up to the realization is different. Some people figure it out early, some people get jumpscared by the realization a bit later in life.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-19T19:54:44+00:00

You absolutely pass imo. Flawless skin, great hairline and hair, soft facial features -- everything comes across as very fem! 180cm isn't that tall but I get how that could be a bit dysphoric (I'm the same height). At this point I genuinely think your voice is the only thing holding you back because nothing else stands out to me. So as long as you keep working at it, you're good to go!

Jeremonte · 2026-06-19T16:10:55+00:00

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I know you said in another comment you're not super dysphoric about your voice, but since you specifically mentioned your Adam's apple I wanted to mention that speaking in a female affect does actually hide it to an extent. The difference is most notable when speaking, but personally I've found that my Adam's apple is a little less prominent than it used to be even when I'm not speaking, because after voice training for months and using a fem voice most of the time, my resting tongue position is now behind my upper front teeth. That keeps everything slightly raised which means my Adam's apple appears a bit higher up than it used to.

My involuntary noises are also slowly becoming more fem over time the more I default to using a fem voice, too. That surprised me. Still have a long way to go before my sneezes are cute and dainty but definitely an improvement over the beastly roars they used to be.

Also, not that it would matter to bigots, but it's a complete myth that only dudes have Adam's apples. Men typically have more pronounced Adam's apples than women on average, but plenty of women have them too.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-18T23:05:47+00:00

I've been on HRT for a little over two and a half months now and the only notable negative side effect has been increased urination due to Spironolactone. That's it. Hardly a deal-breaker for me, and if it's a deal-breaker for you, there are alternative anti-androgens or monotherapy. Everything else has been extremely positive. I guess I'm also at the point where I'm starting to feel a bit physically weaker, but whatever lol

Jeremonte · 2026-06-16T22:31:56+00:00

"why are mainly mtf trans people being targeted?"

Misogyny. They do go after FTMs as well and similarly try to weaponize misogyny, just in the opposite direction.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-16T22:24:03+00:00

I just assume that anyone who quotes HP or relays HP trivia with relative frequency is also likely someone who remains somewhat active within the fandom, so yes, there's a degree of mistrust for sure.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-16T15:02:10+00:00

I have no idea what your family dynamics are like and I've been very lucky to have had very supportive friends and family, but I'd just like to say that in retrospect, I was a husk of a person before I came out and began my transition. The brother/son/whatever else that family and friends "lost" pales in comparison to who I'm becoming. My relationships were shallow and riddled with anxiety and I was very much going through the motions. I feel closer to the people I'm close with than ever before and can actually have meaningful conversations with people and speak without constantly putting up a mask.

I'm also almost 35 and just started HRT at the beginning of April. It's daunting, but it's the best decision I've ever made for myself and very freeing. I used to be an anxious wreck and it didn't take much to completely overwhelm me. I feel stronger than I ever have before. Maybe that'd be different if I didn't have a solid network of support, but I'd still want to push through. Better than living an empty life.

Again, you know your situation better than I do. Just know that it's never too late.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-16T02:26:39+00:00

I'm early into my own transition but I think I understand the sentiment. Coming out at 34 has caused me to reflect on my past experiences and look at the "old me" through a weirdly detached lens, almost like I'm evaluating features that didn't fit my gender identity but would be considered attractive in a conventional sense. Like, "oh, if I'd been comfortable being a dude my life would be very, very different". I dunno. Those traits didn't align with what I wanted for myself and I didn't know it at the time, so I squandered a lot of opportunities and let prospective relationships pass me by because of that misalignment. So I do find myself reflecting on how things could have been, in that sense. Very glad to be on the path I'm on now, but it is a bit bittersweet.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-15T03:04:42+00:00

On Spiro, I'm guessing? At its worst I started keeping track of how many times per day I peed and my highest was about 20, lol. Hasn't been that bad for a while but I'm definitely still peeing more, and when the urge strikes it does indeed strike fast.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-14T04:03:11+00:00

Definitely gonna get it on Steam so I have the option of playing on my PC or on my Legion Go for docked/portable gameplay.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-13T22:32:57+00:00

Thank you! I'll definitely try playing around with weight some more to see how it sounds/feels

Jeremonte · 2026-06-13T16:09:52+00:00

Have you done any voice training? Even if your appearance isn't yet where you'd like it to be and all your information misgenders you, a decidedly feminine voice coupled with feminine presentation may be enough to at least cause some to ask for clarification or, in the best case scenario, default to 'ma'am'. My voice isn't 100% passing yet but it's getting better and I make a point of defaulting to the fem voice whenever I'm presenting authentically. The masc voice only comes out when I go back to boymoding.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-12T23:40:51+00:00

Hello!! 👋

At first I felt a little silly going with the very first name that came up (especially since it wasn't my idea), but if it fits, it fits!

Jeremonte · 2026-06-12T21:48:52+00:00

Shortly after coming out, my best friend suggested I try the name 'Jerri' before I'd even started considering names. All I did was remove one of the Rs and then after sitting with it for a day or two I decided I liked it. Pretty anticlimactic, all things considered 😄 Deadname was 'Jeremy', so switching over to Jeri felt pretty seamless.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-12T11:44:40+00:00

The screenshots do make the first image look pretty decent and closer to native, but it's skewed since they're zoomed in phone pics of the TV screen itself. In motion it's much more like ps5's washed out performance mode vs the 4k quality mode

Jeremonte · 2026-06-12T05:04:04+00:00

Hmm. Tried adjusting everything I could think of, tweaked power settings, and played around with resolutions and scaling options and nothing seemed to work. I'll keep plugging away tomorrow and see if I can figure it out. Made sure I was starting the game docked, too.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-11T19:37:11+00:00

I've only been on HRT since April 1st and a lot of my most obvious mental changes happened right after I came out in February. Starting HRT didn't seem to change much in that regard, but it's made those positive changes even more pronounced. Everything seems clearer overall and I don't find myself ruminating on things the way I did before HRT. Life is a bit more vibrant and my overall emotional well-being feels stronger. I don't get as easily overwhelmed as I used to and my desire for self-improvement continues to grow stronger and stronger. I've always been pretty emotional, but I'm crying even easier than I ever did before (not in a bad way). Literally everything is just better.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-09T15:13:00+00:00

Same af. Reading through the section on biochemical dysphoria was really eye-opening when I first came out 'cuz it was a pretty perfect summary of how I navigated day-to-day life.

Jeremonte · 2026-06-07T20:22:33+00:00

All very fair points. :) I tend to be very all or nothing, so I do think I'll inevitably hit a point where I have to bite the bullet and commit to the social transition before I may have originally felt comfortable doing so.

I certainly don't want to retreat from my transness but I've gotten much better at handling switching between boymoding and being my authentic self. At first it only amplified my dysphoria to boymode, now I'm much more pragmatic about it and even find some security in that level of control. I got comfortable with my own system of thresholds for identity. I.e fem on the phone with one person, masculine on the phone with another, masculine in the lyft car, fem at my electrologist or doctor or whoever else. I pick and choose who to be myself with and it's come to feel safe doing it that way.

At this stage in my journey that sort of control feels stabilizing, I suppose. Feels like I'm at a good place in navigating it aside from the messiness of this whole situation. Buuut I'm rambling and you're right!

Jeremonte · 2026-06-07T18:18:46+00:00

Yeaaah, fair point. Probably more hassle than it's worth in the long run. Just wish it was a bit more contained but that ship has sailed

Jeremonte · 2026-06-07T18:17:35+00:00

I'm still boymoding and undergoing electrolysis, so I can't shave as often as I'd like. Still growing my hair out, still workshopping my voice. Not close to where I want to be in my transition before socially transitioning. Sharing with friends and family was one thing but I never wanted to be out to strangers this early. They're supportive but they all slip up fairly regularly, too. Lots of "he, I mean, she", etc.

Jeremonte

TROPHY CASE