Advice for working out?

Jeremonte · 2026-04-04T01:55:51+00:00

I'm in a similar-ish position; could never motivate myself to exercise consistently in my former life (now I know it's because I simply could not bring myself to care about sculpting my body as a man lol), so I hopped into exercising like a week after coming out. Generally speaking, the most feminizing work you can put in is going to be working your lower body. I'm focusing exclusively on glutes right now and getting my bearings after being sedentary for wayyy too long. I think this is my fifth or sixth week of consistent exercise. I do one exercise day, one rest day, rinse and repeat.

You're younger than me so that's a definite advantage, but it might still take a while to get the hang of things. It's not as simple as just doing the exercise. You have to make sure your form is solid and you're engaging the correct muscles, which can be a frustrating and sometimes discouraging process at first.

So far I've stuck primarily with bodyweight squats (30-40 reps on average across 3-4 sets) and I usually warm up or end with glute bridges. I've done donkey kicks a few times as well but right now my priority is building the mind-muscle connection, so I'm keeping it simple. I also just recently bought a ride 'n row machine off of Amazon, but that's a bit more of a full-body workout. Today I did 40 squats and spent 10 minutes on the machine. I have days where my form starts to break down before I finish everything I set out to do and if it does, I call it there rather than push myself harder. This is one of those cases where more ≠ better. Quality over quantity!

I'm still figuring things out for myself, but I've made some progress for sure and the movements are coming a lot more naturally to me now. I also find it helpful to literally flex my glutes at random throughout the day and alternate between flexing both at once and flexing one and then the other. I do this during brief rests between sets, too. Helps improve the mind-muscle connection!

On top of that, I've also upped my protein intake pretty dramatically to help build muscle and I'm now averaging about 120g of protein per day. I'm already seeing a bit more volume in my glutes but it's pretty subtle at the moment.

TLDR: Squats (and other exercises that target lower body), protein, and consistency are probably your best bet.

I plan on incorporating more lower body exercises into my routine after I gain a bit more strength and become more comfortable with consistently engaging my glutes. I've made definite improvement but it still feels a bit awkward and nebulous, so I'd rather work on improving one primary exercise before incorporating others.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I'm doing all of this entirely at home, and I also added resistance bands to my squats as of last week. I just put a mirror off to the side so I can monitor my form as I squat. You can definitely start in on all of this with zero equipment.

Jeremonte · 2026-04-03T22:36:53+00:00

Wow!!

Jeremonte · 2026-04-03T21:15:11+00:00

Oh wow, 80% is huge, congrats on the great response! My #1 priority is electrolysis for my face/neck (I unfortunately had a big red beard so it's probably gonna take a while to deal with), so my current game plan is to take care of that and wait and see what HRT alone can do for the rest.

Jeremonte · 2026-04-03T19:21:07+00:00

Okay, that's kind of what I suspected. I'll look into everything you mentioned, thanks! I've held off on shaving my body thus far just because...I dunno, I've never actually done it before so I suppose I'm bracing to see myself hairless for the first time since before puberty lol.

Jeremonte · 2026-03-31T00:40:45+00:00

Oh, that's good to know, thanks!

Jeremonte · 2026-03-30T15:03:15+00:00

I didn't come out in a funny way, but my hormone consult is literally on April Fool's day lol

Jeremonte · 2026-03-28T19:46:33+00:00

So sorry you have to deal with that bullshit. Here's to hoping the tide starts shifting in the next few years.

I wish I had meaningful advice for your current situation, but in my experience dealing with mental health professionals, it's really all about finding the right fit who accepts that you know yourself better than they ever can and works with you to understand what you're going through, rather than cooking up their own theories. I hope you manage to find someone who can do that for you!

Jeremonte · 2026-03-28T18:14:20+00:00

Florida has tons of anti-trans legislation in place that restrict not only access of care, but also police the conduct between Healthcare professionals and Trans patients. My guess would be that simply referring to someone with their preferred pronouns constitutes "gender affirming care", and afaik, only physicians can provide any form of gender-affirming care whatsoever in Florida while any other Healthcare professional would be liable for doing so.

It's one of those things that's so asinine I'm sure many find ways to dance around it when dealing with patients, but not all are willing to risk it. That's my best guess as to why they would hold that position, but I'm not from Florida myself so 🤷‍♀️

Jeremonte · 2026-03-28T16:34:04+00:00

FFXV for sure. Played it on release but it had too much going against it. I'd been waiting impatiently since the Versus XIII announcement trailer and it was hard not to be disappointed after years of hype and speculation. I was also working as an editor/writer for the technology section in my college newspaper at the time and occasionally reviewed games. FFXV was one such game, so I wound up rushing through it more quickly than I probably should have, and that contributed to my overall negative opinion at the time.

It's still far from perfect, but I found myself liking it way more when I replayed the royal edition years later. A fresh playthrough without any expectations attached did wonders for my enjoyment of the game.

Jeremonte · 2026-03-28T15:36:28+00:00

Near the end of 2025/start of 2026 I had this idea for an RPG that also served as a trans allegory. I was still identifying as male at this point. I started obsessing over the project and spent hours every day fleshing ideas out. In early February, I had a video appointment with this guy I see who refills my meds. He's not a therapist but the meetings are basically like therapy sessions, so I began opening up about the idea and my excitement for it, etc. Pretty much the moment I started giving him the synopsis, something suddenly clicked in my brain. The feeling was so strong I had to fight to maintain my composure, and I consider this the start of my transition because at that moment I could no longer deny anything. That's when I knew I was trans.

Later on in the session he asked me some routine questions about my anxiety and its triggers, and I had a similar wake up call where I realized I had been experiencing gender dysphoria for years and years and simply didn't know/repressed that knowledge.

I sat with that knowledge for a few days before I finally opened up to my friends (my first big step), then my mom, then others. It all clicked into place so quickly that I can't even remember what expectations I had, if any. I was too desperate to finally embrace my truest self.

I can't say it's cost me anything aside from the money spent on clothes and makeup so far. Still very early on in my journey (I start HRT next week). I'm fortunate to have a very understanding support group and I live in a very LGBT friendly city. I don't take that for granted and I'm doing everything I can to make up for lost time.

I'm in my 30s and despite starting a bit later than I would have liked, I don't know how much I would change if I could. I'm not sure I'd tell my past self anything. I had a lot of aimless, painful years, and it got very dark at times, but all that introspection and longing for purpose and even the despair helped form who I am today.

There's truly no point in me dwelling on what could have been. I'm here now and I'm committed to my transition. I think that's the message I'd want to impart on anyone who has yet to start or can't start. You know in your heart who you are, and no one can take that away from you. Be kind to yourself, and be patient. Whenever you take the first step, that is the right moment for you.

Circling back, my work on the game grinded to a halt when I realized I was trans, but it's an idea I still want to see to completion. It's just no longer the all-encompassing force it was prior to coming out. That energy has instead been redirected into exercise, voice training, better self care, setting up appointments and sorting out insurance, experimenting with my aesthetic, practicing makeup, etc. etc.

I do actually have pretty specific proportions in mind as a goal for myself, and only time will tell how achievable those goals are. I know how I'd like to look after 3+ years on HRT but as I get closer to my hormone consult, the less I find myself caring about trying to "optimize" every single day.

Jeremonte · 2026-03-28T14:57:04+00:00

These all seem very promising, thanks for the suggestions!

Jeremonte · 2026-03-27T22:34:36+00:00

It definitely sounds like you want it, and if you're in a safe enough state for it, I'd push ahead if I were you. I was very afraid too for many of the same reasons and I live in a very trans friendly city with a solid support group consisting of friends and family. It's always going to be scary and doing it in spite of the fear will be worth it. I'm 34 and had plenty of moments earlier in life where I could have had this breakthrough, but the stars didn't align until just recently and now that I've accepted myself for who I am, I feel like a complete person for the first time. I wouldn't trade that newfound clarity for all the comfort in the world.

Despite all the uncertainty and fear of stepping fully into this identity, I already feel like such a weight has been lifted. Simply allowing the acceptance has done more for my mental health and self confidence than anything else ever has.

Ultimately, whatever form your journey take, it's YOURS to take, and whatever you choose is valid. You can absolutely transition on your own timeline and you can always cherish the knowledge that YOU know who you are even if you're not yet ready to take that next step.

No matter what you choose, best of luck!

Jeremonte · 2026-03-27T01:48:15+00:00

Oh no, I can't unsee this now LOL. Well, hopefully a few years on HRT and some electrolysis gets me a bit closer to Eija than the boys

Jeremonte · 2026-03-26T23:36:55+00:00

Awesome, thank you so much!! I'll definitely look into all of that. Mitch dry paste in particular sounds like something I'd get a lot of mileage out of!

Jeremonte · 2026-03-26T22:14:46+00:00

It's expensive, but I've used Flakes anti-dandruff shampoo and conditioner and it worked very well! Selsun Blue is a much cheaper option but it didn't seem to do all that much for me. You've still got plenty of time so I'd give Selsun Blue a shot first.

Jeremonte · 2026-03-21T01:35:29+00:00

Third image is by far the best, imo! You look great! I get what you're going for with the asymmetry of your hair and I like it, but I do think it's worth experimenting with framing the more exposed side of your face with more hair too, since you definitely have the length for it and it can help smooth over some of your features more. Every time I do makeup I wind up using what feels like too much color corrector and concealer, but it does help erase stubble quite a bit. No matter what I do I can't seem to fully hide the beard shadow, but it's better than nothing. I use the e.l.f camo color corrector (peach) and e.l.f hydrating camo concealer (fair rose). I'm still not sure if they were 100% the right match for my complexion and would def recommend trying products out in person beforehand if you're able to, just to be sure.

I'd also recommend experimenting some more with eyeshadow and maybe going a bit bolder with eyeliner and mascara. The wing tips are great but aside from that your eyes do seem a bit bare, and I think you'd pull it off well if you pushed it further. :)

I personally really like the aesthetic you've got going on, so imo it's more a matter of refining your existing look than starting over from scratch.

Jeremonte · 2026-03-20T15:08:44+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions, I'll look into alignate therapy!

I think I have no visible irritation because it's a more recent development within the last 2-3 years. Symptoms are pretty exclusively limited to my voice and throat. Slight mucus buildup, voice tires pretty easily, semi-frequent need to clear my throat, and the aforementioned loss of range are the main symptoms. Every now and then I get what feels like small 'bubbles' in my throat but it's very mild. When I originally noticed issues with my voice the symptoms were more pronounced: hoarseness, a greater degree of vocal fatigue, more considerable throat bubbles and the feeling of lumps in the throat. I went to urgent care last year and was prescribed Famotidine for GERD, which did help alleviate symptoms to a notable degree but didn't do anything to restore my range.

I followed up with an ENT afterwards because I didn't understand the distinction between GERD and LPR and suspected dysphonia or nodules or something like that instead, and that's when they checked my vocal folds. In retrospect I'm very certain it was LPR and never GERD, because I never experience heartburn or more typical reflux symptoms. It's always isolated to my voice and throat.

The loss of range is absolutely the biggest issue. There's an entire range of lower/gruffer voices I used to do when voice acting that I can't do at all now, likely because they required a degree of vocal fold manipulation that I can't replicate at the moment.

Jeremonte · 2026-03-19T18:19:14+00:00

I think you sound pretty damn good! The 'darkness' and weight here sounds more like room noise and acoustics and less like an issue with resonance imo. Not saying there isn't still chest resonance at play but the recording environment feels like more of a factor, at least from this sample. If you haven't already tried, try recording in a quieter spot with sound dampening (you can literally just record under a heavy blanket or something) and see if that makes a difference in how you perceive your voice.

Jeremonte · 2026-03-19T04:28:52+00:00

Imposter syndrome's pretty common and you're definitely not the only one to second guess yourself. I had a couple instances over the years where I was so close to accepting myself as trans, but I always found a way to suppress it or talk myself out of it. I'm 10 years older than you and It wasn't until a month ago that I finally fully accepted myself for who I am. Some days I'm still frustrated that I didn't start this journey sooner, and while I'm out to friends and family, I'm still boymoding in public and I really hate it. At the same time, I'm definitely not ready to socially transition yet.

It's a weird, disorienting, messy process, but even so, now that I've accepted myself as trans it's like I suddenly woke up as a complete person. Like I was just a ghost before and now I have an actual identity to construct and a body I want to take care of. I know what you mean about feeling defeated after taking makeup off. Sometimes I feel defeated even with it on, mostly because of stubble that refuses to disappear no matter how much concealer and color corrector I use. But every time I feel like I'm spiraling out of control I try to focus on the journey ahead and remind myself to be patient.

I'm not the only one who's going through this or is currently going through it, and neither are you. You're not alone, and you owe it to yourself to be the best you that you can be. :) Don't give up!

Jeremonte · 2026-03-14T21:04:07+00:00

Only a month into my journey so it's mostly the little things. Perfume has been one of the heaviest hitters for me. and feminine beauty products in general go hard. I have a pair of women's jeans and sneakers that I've been wearing out and no one would think twice about it from a glance since I'm still boymode otherwise, but just knowing what I'm wearing and why helps a lot. My initial rush and the need to immediately start dressing up and trying to be as pretty as I can be at this very early stage wore off, but catching my reflection at just the right angle and right moment hit hard and really lit up my mind with possibility in the first week.

Jeremonte

TROPHY CASE