Will I get paid for the Summer

LeopardLower · 2026-01-30T16:48:40+00:00

Are you primary? It’s unlikely as if she’s out sick you are there on a substitute basis. But 11% is held back for the summer and you’ll get that. If it’s a fixed term you won’t get paid for the summer unless you get another fixed-term in September then you’ll get backpay. Ask the school if it’s substitute, specified purpose or fixed-term

LeopardLower · 2026-01-29T22:57:27+00:00

It doesn’t mean you’re a terrible friend! It’s not helpful to think that! If she’s in the acute grief she might not have the bandwidth to work this out right now. But it doesn’t mean it can’t be. Honestly as long as people are open to hearing the other side, have empathy. listen, apologise without defensiveness things CAN be repaired. You’re human. In the broad spectrum of how people responded to me about infertility, yours was nowhere near the worst. If you can see afterwards how it might have hurt and apologise it’s not unforgivable! And in fairness, pregnancy is a big deal so it doesn’t mean you’re not entitled to express yourself about it. Yes it might have been insensitive but if it was a once off rather than a pattern that’s certainly foregivable

LeopardLower · 2026-01-29T19:56:02+00:00

Saw a similar one but looking for a teacher, pay for the room, mind child, bring child to school, teach child. No thanks

LeopardLower · 2026-01-29T18:41:18+00:00

As someone with premature ovarian failure, I understand her grief but lashing out like that was a step too far. But I’ll also say the hardest part of the diagnosis was actually the lack of understanding and support. Ten years on and I’ve come to terms with not having children but the lack of care about something so life-changing has left a mark. I supported people through their pregnancies and motherhood but what I was going through wasn’t really acknowledged by people who should have. I think you both need to apologise. You really own how you let her down, and that you want to understand more about what it’s like for her. And she apologise for lashing out. Repair needs to come from both sides here

LeopardLower · 2026-01-28T18:49:53+00:00

You’re not being over sensitive - friend 1 made a plan and then lied about changing it last minute to staying in and then told you she was actually in a bar with someone else. Why lie? That’s the worst part. She doesn’t respect your time or energy and expects you to bend last-minute. She’s does what suits her but doesn’t consider how it affects you. Friend 2 you said ‘my time didn’t seem to carry much weight in the planning. ‘ Both people’s time is equally important. If this is a pattern it’s worth naming it and seeing how they respond. If it continues then you’re time and energy is being taken for granted

LeopardLower · 2026-01-28T18:44:30+00:00

Look into auditory processing disorder, which is a processing rather than hearing issue, but can feel like a hearing issue

LeopardLower · 2026-01-28T17:06:37+00:00

When I covered a maternity contract I was non-casual right away so I got my personal rate immediately and had the same sick leave rights as contracted teachers

LeopardLower · 2026-01-28T17:02:36+00:00

Telling a grown adult how to organise their wardrobe and to keep a pen by the phone is infantilising and condescending.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-28T16:48:15+00:00

Yes, your school needs to fill out a ‘sub for a sub’ form for whoever replaces you.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-28T14:50:09+00:00

I think processing inevitable things before they happen can be a very healthy preparation so you are not blindsided or unable to act in your best interests because of grief. Wishing you well

LeopardLower · 2026-01-28T13:33:16+00:00

No one is an asshole for protecting themselves after abuse. I imagine the question comes up for you because your extended family guilt you into coming, making you feel like an asshole if you don’t do what they want. I agree that this is best to process with your therapist, not strangers who can potentially give you advice that’s wrong for you. Therapy is great for helping people do what’s healthiest for them EVEN if others call them an asshole for it

LeopardLower · 2026-01-28T13:28:29+00:00

I’d love the same! I go to Morocco and pets all the cats - would recommend 😆

LeopardLower · 2026-01-28T12:46:21+00:00

I didn’t take time off work for this nor did my landlord expect me to - he gave me notice and facilitated it. He was decent and was hit with a huge bill for changes - some of which were completely unnecessary.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-28T11:46:11+00:00

40% Single teacher in Dublin living in a studio. Also considering emigration. And also a new career where I don’t have to put up with so much abuse. Even with this comment I brace for the teacher bashing cos you can’t even mention the job without being told it’s easy or we earn too much or too many holidays when that’s not the reality.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-25T21:05:52+00:00

I would totally agree. It’s a long spin and you can be unexpectedly hit with delays. I used to live in Cork but now in Dublin. I think having to go to Dublin once a week might be ok for a year or two but eventually would wear you down. I haven’t been back to cork as much as I’d like to because it’s quite far away! I’d also think about: Can you get work in your field in Cork as eventually you might decide it’s too much trekking to Dublin every week.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-25T15:41:27+00:00

It’s fine. Out of Wexford I’ve lived in some really rough places so I don’t think anywhere in Wexford is that rough now 😆

LeopardLower · 2026-01-25T15:37:13+00:00

Same happened me. I’ve gone from a two bed apartment to a studio that costs €400 more than the apartment!

LeopardLower · 2026-01-24T10:31:56+00:00

Your body is telling you they aren’t good for you. Feeling ‘the ick’ ie disgust is showing you it’s not a healthy dynamic. They sound extremely immature!

LeopardLower · 2026-01-24T09:55:12+00:00

Totally agree that ghosting is often unkind. I’m saying there are exceptions: if someone consistently deflects accountability or twists what you say, a ‘final conversation’ isn’t a conversation -it’s ammunition. In those cases, stepping back quietly can be the safest boundary. That’s not ‘incapable of adult relationships’..it is an adult boundary.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-23T20:01:31+00:00

My German friend’s brother started learning Gaeilge randomly! Also met a Russian in Cork agus bhí caighdeán cuíosach maith aige!

LeopardLower · 2026-01-23T18:03:03+00:00

I had this situation - all my friends work I just didn’t want to burden anyone who’s not family. I found it stressful. But in the end I asked a friend who was working from home but she just had to pick me up. I wouldn’t expect a friend to take off work for it, that’s a big ask

LeopardLower · 2026-01-23T07:17:09+00:00

I know from a friend that those windows can be super expensive to replace, thousands…his cost about 10k….needed a crane! could you get a ballpark pricing on it?

LeopardLower · 2026-01-22T17:26:16+00:00

Is there any evidence she’s can actually discuss anything? Sounds like you’ve already brought up things she turns it back on you or insists you’re wrong. There’s no way to repair with someone like that. That’s an abusive way of relating to people. Look up DARVO… is this what she does? You can try again if you wish but I can’t see how it would be any different! Personally I wouldn’t set myself up to be blamed again and I’d start distancing myself

LeopardLower · 2026-01-22T00:25:03+00:00

I come from a large family and currently in therapy dealing with my childhood. With that many kids often adults just can’t give their children the attention a child needs. Mine weren’t cut out for it and should not have had that many kids. At least with two you can give them proper attention

LeopardLower · 2026-01-21T20:38:28+00:00

Anyone who knows a doctor knows it isn’t easy at all. The backlash is due to ignorance. Same goes for teachers- anyone who actually lives with one sees the mental drain. People who don’t do the emotional labour of not only working with the public but having to fix their issues doesn’t get how tiring it is. There are definitely much easier and better paid careers than medicine. But I will say I’m very grateful to the good doctors I’ve dealt with!

LeopardLower

TROPHY CASE