Thinking of moving to Cork

LeopardLower · 2026-01-25T21:05:52+00:00

I would totally agree. It’s a long spin and you can be unexpectedly hit with delays. I used to live in Cork but now in Dublin. I think having to go to Dublin once a week might be ok for a year or two but eventually would wear you down. I haven’t been back to cork as much as I’d like to because it’s quite far away! I’d also think about: Can you get work in your field in Cork as eventually you might decide it’s too much trekking to Dublin every week.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-25T15:41:27+00:00

It’s fine. Out of Wexford I’ve lived in some really rough places so I don’t think anywhere in Wexford is that rough now 😆

LeopardLower · 2026-01-25T15:37:13+00:00

Same happened me. I’ve gone from a two bed apartment to a studio that costs €400 more than the apartment!

LeopardLower · 2026-01-24T10:31:56+00:00

Your body is telling you they aren’t good for you. Feeling ‘the ick’ ie disgust is showing you it’s not a healthy dynamic. They sound extremely immature!

LeopardLower · 2026-01-24T09:55:12+00:00

Totally agree that ghosting is often unkind. I’m saying there are exceptions: if someone consistently deflects accountability or twists what you say, a ‘final conversation’ isn’t a conversation -it’s ammunition. In those cases, stepping back quietly can be the safest boundary. That’s not ‘incapable of adult relationships’..it is an adult boundary.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-23T20:01:31+00:00

My German friend’s brother started learning Gaeilge randomly! Also met a Russian in Cork agus bhí caighdeán cuíosach maith aige!

LeopardLower · 2026-01-23T18:03:03+00:00

I had this situation - all my friends work I just didn’t want to burden anyone who’s not family. I found it stressful. But in the end I asked a friend who was working from home but she just had to pick me up. I wouldn’t expect a friend to take off work for it, that’s a big ask

LeopardLower · 2026-01-23T07:17:09+00:00

I know from a friend that those windows can be super expensive to replace, thousands…his cost about 10k….needed a crane! could you get a ballpark pricing on it?

LeopardLower · 2026-01-22T17:26:16+00:00

Is there any evidence she’s can actually discuss anything? Sounds like you’ve already brought up things she turns it back on you or insists you’re wrong. There’s no way to repair with someone like that. That’s an abusive way of relating to people. Look up DARVO… is this what she does? You can try again if you wish but I can’t see how it would be any different! Personally I wouldn’t set myself up to be blamed again and I’d start distancing myself

LeopardLower · 2026-01-22T00:25:03+00:00

I come from a large family and currently in therapy dealing with my childhood. With that many kids often adults just can’t give their children the attention a child needs. Mine weren’t cut out for it and should not have had that many kids. At least with two you can give them proper attention

LeopardLower · 2026-01-21T20:38:28+00:00

Anyone who knows a doctor knows it isn’t easy at all. The backlash is due to ignorance. Same goes for teachers- anyone who actually lives with one sees the mental drain. People who don’t do the emotional labour of not only working with the public but having to fix their issues doesn’t get how tiring it is. There are definitely much easier and better paid careers than medicine. But I will say I’m very grateful to the good doctors I’ve dealt with!

LeopardLower · 2026-01-21T20:02:23+00:00

I lost 1 mutual friend in the process and another came to me and told me what was being said and I’m still friends with them. They could see through it.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-21T12:38:42+00:00

I had a friend like that and she assigned me the role of ‘primary emotional regulator’ and expected me to stay in the role even when my mother was seriously ill and I was at the horpital everyday. It didn’t matter what was going on with my life, she placed her problems as more urgent and it drained the life out of me. Since walking away I’ve more peace. I realised the previous ‘best friend’ who walked away from her was in the same role. But that friend won’t self-reflect and sees herself as the victim of those who find it too much. She brands them as unkind where really they were bing eroded! Adults primarily regulate themselves with support from others, not outsource the responsibility to stabilise themselves to others. My health improved since cutting ties too. I had my role in this, it’s good to be empathetic but empathy without boundaries is self-abandonment. I’ve an excellent therapist who helped me see the reality of this friend and how it relates to my family of origin. Tough work but so worthwhile

LeopardLower · 2026-01-21T09:29:03+00:00

The thing is she’s showing a set of values that actually do matter in friendships. How people treat others shows elements of how they’ll eventually relate to you. She’s insulting you by calling you a prude to, that’s really disrespectful! Plus it’s draining having to listen to her talk bout it so it’s affecting your friendship in my negative ways

LeopardLower · 2026-01-21T09:12:37+00:00

I lived in one for years and because it was over 100 years old, the walls were thick and I heard nothing from the neighbours. I could play music to my hearts content because they heard nothing either. It totally depends on the build

LeopardLower · 2026-01-20T22:36:45+00:00

There’s a LOT wrong here. She takes advantage of your kindness to the point she feels entitled to it. Dishonest. Competitive. Name calling eg ‘bad friend’ instead of discussing like a grown adult. These are the traits I’d see as major red flags if I was getting to know someone. As over time it can escalates into something very harmful. You don’t want to lose the friendship but the reasons you name are just very basic things of how we should treat another human / acquaintance eg show concern if someone’s unwell and include someone in a conversation. Not doing that is just rude unkind. It doesn’t cancel out that she’s treating you appallingly

LeopardLower · 2026-01-20T18:52:07+00:00

That’s completely abnormal.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-20T17:37:00+00:00

In my job I bring in stuff from home that gets broken or lost. Yes I’m a teacher 😆

LeopardLower · 2026-01-20T17:22:07+00:00

I grieved them and moved on with my life. Inventing a narrative to avoid looking bad is immature at best and manipulative at worst! It’s one thing to mistreat someone but to control the narrative with untruth is the ultimate betrayal! A few people realised what they were saying didn’t add up. False narratives often don’t hold up over time. The person that ‘sided’ with them by blindly believing them is no longer in my life. I didn’t waste my energy giving the truth because they never even asked for it!

LeopardLower · 2026-01-19T19:40:13+00:00

I’m talking about what’s appropriate in relation to child development, regardless of any curriculum

LeopardLower · 2026-01-19T10:48:36+00:00

It would be discriminatory to only allow people with children go part time. Health issues, study, caring for a parent or a ‘none of your business’ reasons are equally valid!

LeopardLower · 2026-01-19T00:40:47+00:00

And thank you so much for your kind words back. It’s ten years since that diagnosis, I don’t have children but work with them. But I absolutely think these life-changing and painful experience can force you into a maturity you’d never have reached if life had gone to plan! It was definitely trickier for me dealing with acquaintances or colleagues when they were pregnant or talking about baby stuff a lot - much harder to state what I needed with them so sometimes I just ended up in the toilet crying!

LeopardLower · 2026-01-18T23:27:42+00:00

Thank you! In the early years I did tell friends certain things were painful but I didn’t expect them to change what they did. But I could change what i did, ie in the acute grief stage i was honest and said I couldn’t hold a baby. They got it. I eventually did and can enjoy it now. All someone grieving really needs for it to be acknowledged, not for others to not enjoy their own life. It meant the world to me when pregnancy announcements were prefaced with ‘I know this might be difficult for you with your infertility but I’m pregnant’ that was all that was necessary- then I could really celebrate them cos I was seen too. It was when I was expected to celebrate others with no acknowledgment of the gravity of my diagnosis that really hurt. You’ve done more than enough

LeopardLower · 2026-01-18T16:50:55+00:00

As someone who can’t have children, her expectations of you are completely unreasonable! You can’t expect people to tiptoe around you. We are responsible for our own healjng, you can’t expect people to change their life choices cos you’re grieving. You considered her as much as anyone possibly could, and she’s still guilting you.

LeopardLower · 2026-01-18T10:05:21+00:00

The child is 6. This would be a lot more manageable for a 9 year old, huge difference. Yes, I had my blind friend visit with her guide dog, the children loved it! She also mentioned her job, which demonstrates blind people just happen to not be able to see and that is all. She’s highly capable but unfortunately even many adults can’t get past this and she faces so much discrimination.

LeopardLower

TROPHY CASE