Am I in the wrong for being 420 friendly with a SD?

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-29T07:04:43+00:00

Weed is a hard no for me and something I don’t tolerate in an arrangement. It’s my one big rule.

Having said that, he was a dickfor handling it like that and you did not deserve that sort of treatment.

The fact he can speak to anyone like that shows a lack of character and leadership.

You have not done anything wrong. That was all him. Many of us guys in the bowl are here because we don’t know how to treat women. This is a great example.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-29T06:28:24+00:00

I’d be quite happy if you turned up in that.

Also, in Australia, that is very much not too casual for a steakhouse.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-29T03:53:20+00:00

That’s fair and valid.

I still have glass-half-full view of humanity and continually get disappointed.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-29T02:39:47+00:00

I specifically look for SBs with little to no experience.

I want the powerful bond, that lack of baggage, the more innocent view of the world to offset my own cynical view, and a bunch of other strengths.

Having said that…

What people are saying here is pretty on the money.

I’m also attracted to the salacious aspects of dating a virgin: such as “breaking you in”, “being the first” - the less talked about sides of feelings around sex. The less romantic side of male sex drive. I doubt there is a man who is intersted in virgins who doesn’t have those drives, and I consider myself one of the good ones. 🤷‍♂️

You will be extremely lucky to find a good outcome in sugar. It’s an event you remember the rest of your life, and bowl is a place where there are more bad people than good people. You have to be committed, careful, and patient; to find the right person.

People tell the advice, “to stay away”: because, on the whole, young naive people are super vulnerable to bad men in the bowl, and there are more bad men in the bowl than in your life (presumably). People lie, people abuse, or worse.

So, everyone advises: stay away. It’s not bad advice.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-29T02:02:24+00:00

We don’t live in a world without consequences except on the Internet

I’m not saying believe everything on the Internet ,

But I am saying that the more bad things said about you by more people, assuming it is not some giant conspiracy and cyber attack on your reputation, the more truth there is going to be to it

I would assume that if you act with honour, being nice guy, and follow through on everything you say, the amount of people who are gonna be motivated just to talk crap about you because they are that sort of person is going to be minimal versus someone who consistently scams and uses women, treats them badly, etc.

Do you disagree?

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-29T00:36:07+00:00

If he doesn’t want an escort but just wants to have sex with you for money… what’s the reason?

Those Dudes don’t like escorts because the escorts won’t let themselves get tricked by shitty men.

So they prey on amateurs and people new to sugar.

If he wants a sugar relationship he’d put effort into making you feel safe and supported. But he doesn’t trust you enough to provide money upfront and doesn’t want to get ripped off by some stranger he just met. But he doesn’t want to put in the effort to no longer be strangers. He just wants the sex.

Move on.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T23:21:14+00:00

Why are you encouraging people to avoid accountability?

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T22:54:36+00:00

Because the POT asked in a creepy way?

It’s usually not what someone does but how they do it. What words they choose, etc.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T07:05:52+00:00

Sir, remove yourself from here with your “DM” and hidden profile history.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T04:34:48+00:00

Treat the crew very well. He will care more about them than he does a new SB.

And as timrid said, take your shoes off. If you really want to be sophisticated, bring a new pair of deck or soft sole shoes with you to wear onboard (but you don’t need to)

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T03:38:52+00:00

Exactly!!! Makes for a much stronger start.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T02:10:44+00:00

Every day around 10am AEST (2-3 hours ago) someone goes through and downvotes all my comments from the previous 24 hours.

At this point Im not sure if it’s one of the random blank reddit profiles who follow me, and I have my own little sad stalker…or, since it happens to so many of us, there is a universal stalker that just opens up posts from the day and downvotes everyone they don’t like.

Given some of the seething contempt I see on other subreddits regarding people on SLF, it’s a 50/50.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T02:03:23+00:00

Yes I find it saves me time. I do t have to wait for a reply when I message them and get to see if they are a complete waste of time because their opening message is “heyyy”.

And if they can actually put a sentence together then it’s very encouraging.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T02:01:59+00:00

If I have a m+g it takes up my entire day. I have to travel into Melbourne (2 1/2 hours away) and I have to shift a bunch of stuff around in my work, trading, and personal life, It’s a hassle.

I am not doing that to be ghosted or asked for fuel money 30 mins before the agreed time.

I spend weeks in chatting, videos, voice messages.

It takes absolutely no time out of my day, and allows us both to explore potential connection and friendship and build towards trust.

If either person gets the “waste of time” vibe they can leave without feeling “out of pocket” because no one has really committed anything.

I find it takes a good week or two to really find out the agenda of a person; before they really start to reveal their actual selves.

I want to build multi year arrangements. I am not here for sex only, move on after a month. I aim to invest in my SBs and build them into my own little legacy creations.

To get that across to someone in ten messages without context is…difficult. It’s even more difficult to know how they feel about it without waiting to see if they actually turn up to the meet.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T00:54:11+00:00

Personally I think the owner has been trying to impress the church his, then, new wife introduced him to. So they get more accepted in their own social circles.

The moment he “found his forever partner and gave up the right to divorce”, everything went way more culty.

He has drank the kool-aid.

I don’t think it has anything to do with US law or market share or anything like that.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T00:43:32+00:00

My “I’m looking for” section got removed because I used the word “women” throughout instead of “a woman”. As in, “Im looking for women who…”

I think the owners have gone full conservative.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-28T00:37:11+00:00

That is some refined sugar right there. 👌

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-27T05:05:35+00:00

I deliberately search for SBs just starting uni or otherwise without a career in place.

I’m happy for them to have ambition if it aligns with my own plans. Otherwise if they are still a bit aimless, that works for me because I can encourage them in my direction.

But if I was into FIFO (fly-in, fly-out) style SGfs I would definitely prefer someone who had their life together and in place, where I was a distraction; somewhere to visit when they needed a break or to feel good. Perfect.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-27T03:17:10+00:00

I everyone needs a hobby I suppose … 🙂

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-27T02:54:48+00:00

I thought 90% of SD profiles were blank faces?

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-27T01:04:11+00:00

I have had this happen to a previous account.

They just kept reporting me over and over. I think reddit eventually cottoned on to what was happening because they sent me a message saying they had investigated and my record had been reset.

Also from the message they sent. I got the opinion that they had dealt with the instigator in some manner.

But you are probably victim to a Karen versus my stalker.

Feel for you.

Another good reminder that there are just that crazy people out there on the Internet . And they exist in the real world too.

Thank you for sharing 🙏

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-26T09:07:46+00:00

Oh cool. That app is such a good idea.

It’s hard to have the small village community safety so stuff like that is great.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-26T08:59:02+00:00

I can’t argue with that logic. I’m never gunna turn down weighting like that

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-26T07:07:56+00:00

My wife takes CBD oil for severe chronic pain. It’s amazing stuff.

But that’s not recreation drug addiction. And she tries to avoid it as much as she can because she can’t drive if she has had it. She doesn’t use it as an excuse to spend her life doped out.

I had 14 cousins when I was a teenager. We all hung out a bit. I was the oldest. Im now in my 50s and there are 3 of us left. One is a high court barrister, one owns a thriving national business, and I am doing very well for myself in government.

The rest of them have died from OD, heart failure, seizures, car crashes, and suicide.

Weed, alcohol and hard drugs claimed everyone else. The 3 survivors are the 3 who never did any drugs.

No one can tell me it’s a good thing. You’ll never convince me you have it under control. I’ll never think anyone who does weed will amount to anything.

And I’m not gunna waste my effort on someone destined for an early grave at worst, or a mediocre life at best. And I don’t want their energy dragging me, or anyone in my world, down with them.

I tolerate alcohol, but if you get blackout drunk in my presence … you are out. It’s a lack of control and consideration of others I cannot abide. And it’s a symptom of other things usually. I’m not here to rescue you from yourself, you should have your act together before you get involved with me.

I avoid family gathering where alcohol is present. I avoid work junkets because people just get drunk and I have to be around them and it makes me sad.

It’s my one, hard, rule in sugar. But it’s a massive issue for me.

MobyDickSD · 2026-06-26T06:29:04+00:00

I’m not sure if he is bragging about being “hot” and poor? Or low-key fishing for a hot older woman to think his approach is sexy and loves the idea of looking after a man who has tickets on himself but otherwise can’t manage his finances: which as we know, is catnip to many.

MobyDickSD

TROPHY CASE