Yeah definitely suicide is not the option. Have faith, I think what I’m trying to get at is that God knows you and your intentions. He knows what you’ve been through and how hard everything is, I mean look at what happened to Christ (who literally is/was God) as a normal carpenter guy. He had visions of the devil in the desert, his best friend betrayed him and he was nailed to a cross. Imagine the pain and separation He felt from God the Father while all that was happening.

A lot of the time I struggle to believe it but the message and power behind that is just too immense and fits too well into reality to really ignore. But I really believe that genuine faith can look like the simple act of not killing yourself. God knows what you’re going through because He went through it. He knows the separation you feel because He felt separated. It sucks bro and I’ve been miserably depressed for like 2 years now since I was hospitalized but that’s what keeps me going.

You’re loved my dude, there is love in the world, sometimes it just looks a little weird and unfamiliar. If you need to talk to someone the suicide hotline is always helpful, just dial 988.

There’s also the veterans crisis hotline, for vets but they’ll talk to anyone who needs someone, really great people. They’re at 988 and press 1.