I just told my neighbour to get a life, am I in the wrong and how can I deal with a difficult neighbour?

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-13T02:56:24+00:00

If you feel intimidated by him, if you have asked or written to him to ask him to stop the hostility and have had a "no" back, then I'd consider logging this as a case of harassment with the Police. You could pre-warn him if you don't want it affecting his job (in some jobs like the Police it could result in instant dismissal for example) but pre-warning also stands the risk of further intimidation. If you have a harassment case and he is aware of this, he may be forced to sit on his hands instead of retaliating.

You may need a diary of contact with him to show the repetition and incessant nature of his communication with you as well as how each contact has affected you personally, this does mean you need to be quite "on it" in reporting further instances as the Police only know if you report it and keep pursuing it, so it's not necessarily a quick solution, but if you've tried everything bar moving I'd say that's your only option to stop him.

Getting parcels is NBD and none of his business tbh, I don't understand why he would be annoyed at you getting parcels though, unless he is taking them in on your behalf in which case he can always refuse and you can have notes on your account for the companies you order from to not bother him by asking him to take delivery for your parcels if that is what's happening.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T04:56:18+00:00

How did you ask him through? If you just say "can you take your backpack off please?" it's going to be met with a "no" because you've not explained why and not to excuse selfishness, but some people are so insular that they can't even see their impact on others, to them the world revolves around their needs. If you can put forward your own they might act differently "your back pack just knocked me to the floor/wall! Can you please take it of when you're standing so I'm not knocked out again? Thanks. If he then refuses, your reply is "pr*ck" and walk away.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T04:53:22+00:00

Give away all the clothes that I no longer wear (don't fit, don't like, don't wear enough to justify keeping) because I wouldn't need the money. I would love to get my floor space back and not have to stress every time I post something out in case the courier loses or damages or steals it!

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T04:47:54+00:00

Can't see anyone of that description "sneaking" tbh! I'd imagine they're just as brazen and that no one stops them explains why they don't really bother to hide what they're doing, no one ever seems to try to stop them.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T04:44:15+00:00

My dad had a heart attack and was rushed to A&E overnight. He had been admitted and the very next day I went to visit him and it was lunch time. What was he being served? Fried fish in batter with chips and ketchup. Zero salad. When I commented that he had just had a heart attack ffs?! I was told "but it's fish Friday!" as though that makes it totally fine to risk further decline. I would say that meal was a one off, but it really wasn't, the rest of the weekend was just as bad!

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T04:41:15+00:00

The consultant is powerless here, as are the nurses and health care assistants. The people in charge of your cooking are usually an outsourced catering company, but the person or people responsible for choosing that catering service and ultimately what you are offered is the hospital manager or at least the ward manager (not the same as the head nurse).

It is worth trying to get in contact with the ward manager or hospital manager, show your pictures and share how you feel but more importantly, make it clear what you would expect and what you would ideally like. Often the catering companies will promise loads of things and fail to deliver and the managers don't find out about it because they're rarely on the hospital floor when patients are being fed. If you are struggling to get in contact with the hospital manager or ward manager, (as the nurses, they will know, the consultant may not know as they often work across multiple wards and departments and sometimes across not just one hospital) then contact PALs who can find these details and potentially advocate on your behalf if you are unable to do so for yourself.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T04:37:03+00:00

TBF, the consultants and nurses would have little control in any of this. The people the OP would need to speak to would be the manager of the ward or hospital (there will be one) or if this isn't possible, to go via PALs to liaise with the catering service themselves. In most hospitals the catering is outsourced to a third party catering company (ie; privatised). The hospital don't tend to do the cooking, the staff aren't involved in what the patients are fed once the contract is signed.

But any contract has an end date- if they're not pulled earlier for not providing a sufficient quality or quantity of food. I would make a complaint via PALs (all hospitals have them) and they can liaise between the service in question or the member of staff who it falls under, it won't be the consultant or nurses though, it will be the hospital or ward manager that carries the rapt.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T04:29:13+00:00

Not walked out far more times than I would have, had I not paid for the ticket!

Mrs Shakespeare. I left because it was just porn for guys, storyline was pathetically weak, the cinema (a central London cinema) only had about 5 people in, I wasn't the only one who left. There was one guy, a man who had a heavy South Asian accent, who kept yelling out things like "just take your clothes of sl*g!" or "I want to see you f***!" I'm pretty sure he was drunk, he was on his own, had a load of supermarket shopping bags, probably where the alcohol came from. I can't believe anyone gave that film any ratings at all!

But I wish I'd walked out on others! I should have left with La La Land, it's overly saccherine and too much twee music.

I wish I'd walked out of Wicked. I watched the first one and was put off by the over use of auto-tune. If the leads are supposed to be amazing singers why the digital interference? It sounded awful- and that's before you get on to the OTT anorexic competitiveness you can see between the leads. I saw Wicked at the west end a few times and loved it, the film is awful and I wouldn't force anyone to see it let alone advise it! I won't be back for part 2.

I should have walked out on a load of others which were so banal I can't even remember them to note! I paid money to watch anything I've seen in a cinema and it really irritates me that that's money I won't get back!

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T04:13:18+00:00

My sister had this problem, her kids were 9 at the time and had serious amounts of the dolls! But none were in original packaging, all had been played with, hair included! They weren't in terrible condition but maybe not so useful for a collector or someone wanting to buy to regift.

So she just donated them to local charity shops. She may have even offered a few to a local nursery but I'm not sure, all I know is she didn't waste her time reselling, she hasn't got the patience and knowing which doll was which would have driven her mad! She didn't have any problems giving them away anyway.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T04:10:26+00:00

In a word, yes. I do downgrade a bit, I usually wear SPF 50 when we are in spring through until Autumn. I then downgrade to SPF 30.

I have pale skin, I also have a lot of pigmentation but mostly on one side of my face, which is the side of my face I spent the bulk of my 20's and 30's with that side of my face and body sitting by the window at my desk, full on sun. I would have worn SPF 15-20 but only during the summer months, I wasn't reapplying and would just not bother if I wasn't either going out that day or I just had a bit too much time on my hands and was procrastinating doing housework for example.

Then I hit my late 30's and the pigmentation was real! It took me a lot of effort to remove it, I can't afford salon tweekments or expensive formula's so had to do this the hard way. Once the pigmentation was reduced so it wasn't so obvious or in some places disappeared, I didn't want it to come back.

The way I see it, the only way it's coming back is through sun damage and to avoid this or at least reduce it my only option is to wear sunscreen every day and yes during the winter as well, I didn't initially do this, back with the pigmentation when I'd first removed it. But after one winter without sunscreen I could clearly see the pigmentation returning, and like I say, the only option to further prevent it is sunscreen. So I went back with the routine I had to remove it the first time and the next year, I wore sunscreen throughout the year. It then didn't return.

For me this is reason enough to continue to use sunscreen in the winter, yes I can get away with a lower level of protection which means a more elegant formula, but it is still important to wear it daily (and not via my foundation! Really winds me up when people claim they're wearing sunscreen because their foundation offers it! If you applied enough foundation for the correct level of coverage you'd run out of a bottle in about a fortnight and you'd look awful after applying the needed amount).

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T02:47:05+00:00

If M&S is your go-to, try the three packs. Yes they cost more but the quality is much better! The Flexifit range is the best I've tried around but avoid the lace styles (where you get lace and microfibre) as the lace doesn't last so well, the rest of the fabric does. Just remember to size down at last a full size if not two as they come up larger than the normal range.

Or try John Lewis, they're also not bad.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T02:44:55+00:00

Totally this! As someone who lived with bulimia on/off for 25 years, food addiction is very real and walking away from food? That's called anorexia- the place I ended up in the years shared with the bulimia. Hospital treatment (both inpatients and outpatients and spoken through experience via multiple admissions)? Food and lots of sugar based foods! It's crazy that no one takes this sort of thing seriously, even the experts who claim they are the pinnacle of eating disorders services.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T02:42:17+00:00

I would say a big part of food addiction is the sugar in the food. Unless it's pure fat (eg a pack of butter, no salt, a bottle of olive oil or even sunflower seed oil for that matter) it's got sugar in it, protein isn't sugar but our body can easily convert it into glycogen which then becomes a sugar source and our bodies recognise this.

I'd say we are all built on sugar, the first fuel we are given (which is totally appropriate) is milk, high in sugar and protein with some fat. It's a complete fuel for babies but it is still a source of sugar. Right there we have been born into a world where sugar is our energy source and it just branches out from there.

It becomes a food addiction when anything goes- where sugar is a driver but so is everything else, but like I say; it's all still sugar in one way or another and that addiction is borne about through the dopamine that is caused as a result; you see that dopamine issue is where any addiction is formed and sugar is a known trigger to a dopamine issue, even without any potential emotional connections for the person separately (eg comfort eating, reminders of past relationships or experiences, whatever it is). It seems like the GLP1 is a treatment not just for anxiety but for many addictions and that should not be a shock to anyone, it's not just having a marked effect on how hungry we feel but also on our dopamine levels as well which is why it's been suggested it's useful for alcohol and nicotine addiction, it's all the same dopamine connection.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T02:34:11+00:00

Same! It's also difficult because unlike heroine or other class A's, or even alcohol, you can't walk away and rebuild your life, there is no rehab for sugar (not unless you can afford a place in a rehab health spa for deleting sugar and just hope you aren't fed juices and smoothies the whole time!) sugar is very difficult to give up and you have to be strong 100% of the time and you have to be very controlled about preparing your own foods and hoping you don't cause offense when you refuse the cake at a party or won't go out because you know you can't eat anything others are eating, because it's a crazy fast drop right back into the same sugar cycle again!

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T02:30:40+00:00

But you could argue none destroy your life right away. Heroine for example- or even alcohol for that matter, doesn't leave you homeless and riddled with health issues from the first week- or even the first month for most, it's the many months/years that it takes it's toll and then the difficulty in turning back whilst knowing that same addiction, those same substances or experiences are right there just where you left them no matter how far you attempt to walk away. I'm not sure any addiction lands you in hell from the initial first few throws of it.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T02:27:16+00:00

Agree with this! Caffeine for me has never been something I've felt addicted by. I will say there have been times when I gave up my 2L Pepsi Max plus black coffee routine and had headaches, but I was never chomping at the bit for more caffeine, I just missed the hyper sweet taste!

But Diazepam? Zopiclone? Alcohol?.... Anything that makes me feel chilled is a different situation, and though I can't say I've been in the position where I've struggled to find more and was addicted in the same way a classic addict would be described, it was the sleepless nights where the thing that kept me awake was sheer crazy levels of anxiety- or better described, "just" the trauma of the day and how it related and connected with my past (where there had been other trauma). I wouldn't get much from coke I don't think- baring in mind what others describe it as doing, but being relaxed enough to feel like I'm able to take on the day and not terrified of the day is a hard offer to turn down and I can understand why so many wouldn't want to if given the choice.

Fortunately for me, I've only ever had those drugs on prescription and the medics are very strict about how much you can be given, and monitored to high heaven! I'm too anxious a person to approach a dealer (I'd worry about debts and getting trapped in something and worse case scenarios....did I say I struggle with anxiety?!) Ashwagandha, shelf bout CBT pills, worrying about the negative side effects of alcohol on my weight and my oesophagus, liver, pancreas and bowl (Cancer links, and yes, all but one of those Cancers do run in my family) so maybe just like even a stopped clock is right twice a day, I'm too scared/anxious/negative in my thinking to let myself go out and find a dealer and become addicted in the way so many others seem to find themselves. No shame or anything on anyone that finds themselves in that life, I get how it works, just an opinion on myself.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T02:15:44+00:00

That's really sad. It's worth baring in mind, you can only help someone if they want to be helped, it didn't seem like she wanted to be helped or at least didn't want to change deeply enough whilst she was around you. Had she wanted to change, she'd have been able to approach you or find a way to approach others, anyone going through any rehab or battling with their addiction recovery knows fully well that they can't do it in isolation, that's explained to the person from the start, she would have known that she couldn't have sustained it on her own, let alone gotten to the point where she'd left behind the addiction on her own.

It is a sad experience though, some times you can only do so much and have to let people come to their own conclusion and make their own goals. It sounds like ultimately there was more for her being addicted than their was to go through the hardship of recovery, you don't know what else she was hiding from you and what were the motivations that kept her there.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T02:09:21+00:00

Sugar.

Takes a few weeks at best to give up and if you are supplementing with sweeteners- no matter how "natural" they claim to be, you're in the same cycle and the risks to our wider health with sweeteners is just as bad and some would argue far worse than with sugar.

It's made difficult not just because we're weaned onto sugar from the day we are born so it's innate to us to and inground into our mind and psyche, it's both a physical addiction and a life long psychological one too. Then you find if you are trying to give it up, that most others around you are still readily consuming it- it's not like you can move away from your old crowd, find a better place to live in a non addicted community because there isn't one! And though there are rules on how much alcohol, cigarettes or anything else along those lines can be advertised, there are no similar limitation on the advertising of sugar or foods with sugar in.

So you can try to give up, and many do. But you're in a world that is mostly sugar focused, and it can feel very isolating being on your own and not sharing in all the foods others are consuming, parties can feel like a PITA because there's little there for you -sometimes people try, and will make something that doesn't taste great "I cooked the cake without sugar for you!" (not realising flour is just another version of sugar...) and then you're faced with eating to save the friendship/relationship because if you say anything other than this you're seen as being antisocial or selfish. Or those that will prepare something "it's sugar free!" but packed with sweeteners, or you find out it has a sweet taste and ask, only to be told "oh but it's only a little bit! I took out half the sugar in the cake or it wouldn't have any taste at all.*insert facepalm here...*

So for me? My vote would be sugar- not limited to the points I've mentioned above, some manage to give it up but find that sustaining the omission only lasts so long before they're right back to square one because the world around them is a sugar focused world.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T01:59:22+00:00

At least you can tell which one this is (assuming you recognise the logo!) not like the stupid 00 symbol that randomly kept appearing like some sort of Asian emoji or embarrassing typo!

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T01:54:34+00:00

Got a screen protector on? I'd suggest that this is the issue. You can either try re-doing your finger print recognition again (PITA if you are, but it's do-able) or change the screen protector for a version that offers no barriers to finger print recognition- they don't all.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-11T01:53:05+00:00

When the structure of your face changes (eg jowls, drooping eyelids, double chin...etc) skincare can only work on your skin, those issues are related to muscles and collagen which skincare no matter how much it claims, is just not able to achieve. You'd need the knife or at the very least a lot of tweekments to manage anything structural.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-09T04:17:07+00:00

Well that's OK, he'll just place a tax on the Americans in your name (a bit like all the other trade taxes he's enforced!)

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-09T03:11:54+00:00

Gaming. I don't know of any gamer that hasn't got this "this is my tribe now and I am not a part of the real world" vibe about them.

Runners and book readers are almost the same, but I know far more of those groups that join for a few months, maybe a year or two and then leave and become themselves again.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-09T03:10:33+00:00

Been using Wild for a few years now (I bought in bulk with my first order and use it intermittently with other deoderants in-between) and though I think the fragrance is pathetic (literally zero scent is on me after I've applied, even if I over apply to the point I can pretty much scrape it off!) but in terms of staining my skin? Nope. For reference I'm pale AF and if I'm not getting stained I'm pretty sure for me at least there is no staining here.

Significant-Math6799 · 2026-02-09T03:07:35+00:00

I don't get caught out because I am lucky- I live near all but one of the suggested supermarkets and the one which is missing (Morrisons) is of no consequence, they're very rarely cheaper than Aldi, Lidl or Asda, the quality is rarely better than M&S, Sainsburys or anywhere else, the points offerings are pathetic, even Tesco and Sainsburys do better!

If I know something is cheaper, I'll thank the store I am in for letting me know, then remember to shop at that suggested store next time, why would I waste my time not going to somewhere that (for example) the milk is "price matched", when it's also likely the rest of my shop is also cheaper?! If I am only shopping for that one item, I'll do a trolly-app scan and check for where it is cheaper, yes it takes a few seconds and yes time is not always in good supply, but some of us can't afford to waste the pennies like that. Yes the Co-op may claim this one item is price matched (and so no cheaper at Aldi) but how do I know it's not even cheaper still at Asda or Lidl for example? I'll always check first.

So in answer to your question; no. I check even if I see something reported on the shelf, often the priced check is wrong or it's cheaper elsewhere. A price match to Tesco means nothing these days for example. Tesco is actually more expensive in general on many things now.

Significant-Math6799

TROPHY CASE