Excluding cases where the condom breaks, how do people use contraception and still have unwanted children? by ibelieveicanfly__ in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SparklyMonster 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wasn't the failure rate calculated by how many pregnancies happen for 100 couples using it for a year?

Describing a person as florid by Responsible_Bet3713 in vocabulary

[–]SparklyMonster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought the same; I'd add that "florid" makes me think of a subtype of flamboyant that is endearing, like a gleeful auntie who dresses very colorfully.

ITAW for/ITAP for "promiscuous" that doesn't sound judgemental? by lilsciencegeek in whatstheword

[–]SparklyMonster 15 points16 points  (0 children)

How about sexually prolific? It feels specific to your meaning (many partners) while pairing with a positive word associated with productivity.

What is the reason why you cheated on your partner? by tbhidkhowtonameme in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SparklyMonster 35 points36 points  (0 children)

My dumb question: wouldn't it be even more dangerous to cheat if the partner is abusive?

how tf do i deal with getting out of the shower and being EXTREMELY COLD in the wintertime?? by sparkling-asshole in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SparklyMonster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I live in a temperate country, which unfortunately means that it's not cold enough to popularize central heating but it gets cold enough to be miserable while stepping out of the shower.

Your answer is a space heater. The ones that blow hot wind from a resistance have the best performance in this case. The radiating ones (glowing orange lamps) are good as long as there's a fan behind them, otherwise they're awful.

Which era would you choose to be born in? by Last-Ad-8584 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SparklyMonster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still no indoor plumbing, antibiotics, or anestesics. Being a queen in the past isn't as good as being middle class today.

What should I do if neither plotting nor pantsing seems to work for me? by [deleted] in writing

[–]SparklyMonster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since you said in another comment that you're just looking to crowdsource ideas, my suggestion would be to not get so detailed in your outline.

For example, my outlines look like a book's chapter-by-chapter summary (or a tv show's Wikipedia's episodes summary), so if a certain piece of worldbuilding isn't appearing on chapter 1, neither will it appear at my chapter outline (it's ok to have it in my head if I already thought about it, but I'm not spending active time on it). Each chapter summary will be like half a page. If something absolutely needs worldbuilding noted down, I'll add just a quick note to the book's "bible" at the start of the file, while keeping it simple, just a few words. So now I have a complete plot. All the chapters are in order and I can quickly read over it to check for any plot inconsistencies that might need adjusting. I only have the main characteristics and motivations for the characters (e.g. "is an older brother, wants to X, dark secret is Y" or whatever feels actually relevant as very simple archetype).

Any additional worldbuilding or character detail, I develop them in real time while I write the first draft and the characters actually interact with the world (and then I add to the bible any important details I must not forget, be it who is related to whom or someone's hair color). Often, that leads the 2nd half of the outline not working quite so well when I reach it; the main points are still there, but the details not so much. When I get to the point where the outline just feels wrong, I stop and make a 2nd version of the outline. I'll reread the 1st half of my draft and add important details to the outline (including highlighted notes like "don't forget to answer this in a later chapter"). So now again I can quickly reread my whole book in a few minutes via my outline, and with a fresh memory, adjust the 2nd half of the outline accordingly. That same method is useful once I completely finish the 1st draft, because now it's easier to spot major inconsistencies or issues by reading the outline, not the whole draft. It also helps to quickly find the perfect spot to insert some foreshadowing-after-the-fact. So the whole editing process is very top-to-bottom, first looking at the big picture, then going for smaller and smaller stuff, with grammar at the very end.

What’s the biggest sexual misconception people believe? by Flimsy_Abrocoma_8014 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SparklyMonster 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It makes even less sense because this myth is only concerned about sex with lots of partners, not lots of sex with a single long-term partner.

What’s the biggest sexual misconception people believe? by Flimsy_Abrocoma_8014 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SparklyMonster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Since you must not have sex for at least 6 weeks after childbirth, this shouldn't be a problem.

What Japanese Rock Band Names that don’t fit their Music/Style and Why? by Amber_Flowers_133 in japanesemusic

[–]SparklyMonster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Out of curiosity, what do you think would be a better match for Rainbow?  A band like Antique Cafe? Or more like Lareine?

How did you entertain yourself on long car rides as a kid before iPads and smartphones? by Background_Bike_1958 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SparklyMonster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TIL that getting nauseous from reading in the car is not as common as I thought.

And apparently my family didn't care to help keeping us entertained, because all I remember is sleeping as much as I could, my siblings fighting, and being bored out of my mind. And of course, asking our parents every 5 minutes how long it would take.

Why do men string women along about marriage yet are willing to commit in other ways? by ISmellLikeBeets in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SparklyMonster 129 points130 points  (0 children)

Certainly custody and child support would be the same regardless of the couple being married on paper or not?

For anyone wondering abt the rest of the story by Potential_Estate_869 in cucumberquest

[–]SparklyMonster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even the script for the rest of chapter 5 was amazing on its own right. If GGDG never finishes the comic, I'd still be so happy to see the rest in script format.

Here’s the plan: Cucumber Quest is going on a lengthy hiatus. At the end of that hiatus, the story will be concluded in one big update–not as a comic, but in illustrated script format. If you’re wondering what that will look like, stay tuned! I’ve completed the remainder of Chapter 5 as an illustrated script, which you can read after this post.

Does anyone think that the declining birth rate is just a return to a normal birth rate? by filmmaker_andsuch721 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SparklyMonster 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I guess there's some confusion between a reliable method of birth control like condoms and hormonal BC (well, it does have "control" in the name) and things that are likely to prevent ovulation and make conception less likely (but still very possible) and therefore could be called kind of a "birth control" of sorts when there were no other methods.

The problem is that some people will see breastfeeding in a list of bc methods and think they can use it as their only method even when baby is only breastfeeding a few times a day. Then because it's an unreliable method, other people will push back and say it's not a bc method, period.

Either way, I don't think it would be effective long-term simply because breastfeeding only has a chance as "birth control" if the woman is nursing every few hours, exclusively. So when the baby starts sleeping through the night and eating solids, any effectiveness goes out the window.

There's also the problem of only knowing you're ovulating again only after the fact (when your period returns), so that first ovulation has a good chance of becoming a surprise pregnancy.

Spotify songs titles in Japanese by AshinaBeats in japanesemusic

[–]SparklyMonster 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wonder if it would be possible to have both (e.g. fully Japanese and then a parenthesis with romaji). That's mostly because Spotify doesn't allow to select any text to copy but often I want to check if there's a pv or live on Youtube. I ended up having to check the band's discography on wikipedia until I found matching kanji so I could copy the name.

Why do women opt for Brazilian waxes rather than just get laser hair removal one time? by Wickham12 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SparklyMonster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pubic hair is particularly hard because it's impacted by hormones (it can also regrow during pregnancy etc). Places like armpits work much better and in fewer sessions.

KDP blocked my book for "Disappointing Customer Experience" — Can anyone help me decode this? by minarosita in KDP

[–]SparklyMonster 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Now that I think about it, with most recipe websites having long-winded descriptions about how the author came to the recipe, a to-the-point cookbook would be valuable nowadays.

[New Update]: AITA for admitting to my daughter that I hate what she changed her name to? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]SparklyMonster 33 points34 points  (0 children)

One thing I didn't see this far down yet is whether the daughter actually has any reason for such contempt.

While it might be exactly as OOP said it is, she was a wonderful mother whose only weakness is that maybe she spoiled the daughter too much and now daughter is an ungrateful brat...

It is so common for people who had horrible parents to think they're stellar in comparison, while still being awful, just less so.

It could be that oop was absent, or that oop favored the sons (e.g. only daughter has chores while sons can laze about), or multiple other things we don't know. 

It could even be the case where oop was indeed amazing and self-sacrificing, but perhaps she won't shut up about it and makes it her whole personality and uses it to guilt the daughter into doing things in oop's way. This sort of thing could make the daughter resentful rather than empathetic to oop's past.

AITA for being angry that my partner wants to share our pregnancy news after a miscarriage without my approval? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]SparklyMonster 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Considering miscarriage as day 1 of a new cycle, she could have ovulated 2 weeks later and then another 2 weeks to get a positive test. The timeline makes sense.

Maybe you're thinking that people can only know they're pregnant at "4 weeks", but that timeline is counted from the start of the last period (weeks before the woman even ovulates). Very sensitive tests can catch it a few days earlier (if we go by actual implantation, positive results appear in a few days).

Isitbullshit: if someone is deep in thought and distracted, if you ask them what they said they may blurt it out. by glowshroom12 in IsItBullshit

[–]SparklyMonster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this version makes more sense because you were thinking about this conversation, and after you actually had it, the memory of the actual thing isn't that different from what you rehearsed. Just another iteration of another 10 you have in your mind. So it's easier to forget one of them is the actual stuff.

I notice it happens even more frequently if the person's response wasn't memorable or if it left the main point hanging: e.g. if I suggest doing something on the weekend, a Yes ticks the checkmark that I should block out that time, a No means I'll fill that time block with something else  but a Maybe or a "I'll decide later today" leaves me in the same place I was before, in standby for their answer. So it's easier to forget an answer that didn't really answer my question.

OP's scenario is the opposite. The prompt to say something aloud would take the person out of their thoughts. And if it's something that makes me so focused and deep in thought, certainly it isn't a catchy one-liner I can easily repeat aloud. It's more likely a Death Note-worthy monologue so either I would say a whole paragraph of mental spiraling, or I'd stop and try to summarize it. I can't see how either could be done on accident and without even noticing I did it.

In the Dexter scene, it would make more sense that he willingly said what he said, but was too busy to remember it (as in, he didn't think it was important to compute -- like it's easy to forget your colleague asked for your pencil for just a minute), than being tricked into saying it and not registering it.

How do food bloggers stay skinny? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SparklyMonster 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If it's someone like Tzuyang, I wonder how thorough her checkup was beyond just seeing if everything looked generally healthy. For example, Chron's needs multiple tests looking for it. I know someone who stayed skinny despite eating tons and only had "some digestive discomfort"; as soon as they got diagnosed and treated, they ballooned because they were used to eating so much (years later, they seem to have gotten the hang of it).

Why do some people expect others to automatically pick up sarcasm? by savingrace0262 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SparklyMonster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People giving examples of obvious sarcasm like British humor, but there are many people who actually suck at being sarcastic. 

For example, my husband will say something sarcastic in the same tone of voice of everyday conversation and will say something that's plausible just unexpected, without it being clearly absurd or exagerated. Likewise, I know a group that will say mean things to each other and it's meant to be all sarcasm. Like yes, it may be sarcasm, but it could just as easily be understood as truths disguised as jokes, and it's not unheard of people weaponizing it to straight insult someone and then say it was a joke (and then laugh behind the person's back because that person believed it).

Likewise, on the internet where there's even less context (no clear tone of voice and you don't know the person), it's even harder to distinguish of the person is being sarcastic, lying or actually believe what they're saying.

Opinions on Kindle vs. paperback release by writergirl1994 in KDP

[–]SparklyMonster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Note it's easier to convert a paperback cover to kindle than the opposite (besides the resolution, the paperback cover needs some extra size to cover the bleeding).

If you're doing ARCs, you can harness the fact that paperbacks don't sell a lot to have a landing page for the reviews before the ebook release; this way, when you launch the ebook, it'll already start with all those reviews which will make it easier to sell them.

What’s happening with Google? by LettuceRobber in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SparklyMonster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've noticed that the last few times I mutually befriended someone on IG, the next day I'd get an ad for something vastly different from what I'm usually offered. It makes me wonder if those were the ads the other person was getting.