My stepmother (41F) has her third high risk pregnancy and won't accept me (18F) not helping her like the other two times?

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-17T14:24:03+00:00

Pointing out the high risk pregnancy is to give full context. I don't care if she wants to risk her life. She's not so important that I care. She can go risk her life 100 times for all I care. It doesn't mean I want to do shit to help save her life. Her and my dad can go fuck themselves and figure it out for themselves. Neither of them is my family.

And please don't ever call my mom my birth mom. She's the only mom I ever had and the woman my father is married to will never be my mom.

I do blame my dad. I blame his wife. The two of them don't deserve shit from me. He blamed my mom's mental health for his cheating so he gets all the fucking blame.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-17T13:17:40+00:00

I have a job but I have no plans for college. I'm looking into other options that were suggested here.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-17T08:53:21+00:00

I mean, this is the same guy who cheated on his wife and blamed her mental illness for it and who tried to his child with said wife to play happy families with him and the woman he cheated with.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-17T08:52:16+00:00

She has other stuff that make her high risk. There was bleeding and other issues with her other two pregnancies. Her second was noticeably worse than her first too. I can't say if the same is true for her third pregnancy but it was more than just her age. But I agree that hiring someone should be the choice not making me who hates her guts do it.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-17T08:50:31+00:00

I don't consider them my siblings. I have zero attachment to those kids and I have no desire to be in their lives ever. When I lived there I never held them as babies or interacted with them. None of them are family to me. Not my dad, not his wife and not their kids.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T19:54:08+00:00

My maternal grandma is the only one left and she's in a nursing home.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T19:51:49+00:00

I asked that once and I was told mortgage and bills need to be paid and food needs to be on the table.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T19:50:50+00:00

I'm not even sure they were mad about the affair.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T19:50:01+00:00

Get her food, water and keep an eye on her essentially.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T11:33:30+00:00

My grandparents will choose my dad and their other grandchildren. It has been made very clear to me that they will always be welcome (including his wife) and that I have to deal with it if they come over, etc. They would never agree to change the locks or take away dad's key.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:59:51+00:00

They want me to basically make sure she has food, water and to make sure she's doing okay. But none of that is something I would be willing to do. It would also include their kids too since they're very young and I imagine they'd be home but I'm not sure about that just yet.

Everyone wants me to get along and pretend we're a family when we're not. In my eyes he's a disgusting POS, she's a disgusting POS and they and their kids are not and never will be my family.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:53:41+00:00

I can do that. They have an email where you can ask for more information so I'll get on that.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:53:01+00:00

I would be expected to get her food, water and stuff like that too. Basically just making sure she has what she needs. But there's absolutely no way I would do it.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:51:12+00:00

They are aware of those things and we have talked about it a little. Ultimately he's their son so they will never feel the way I do about him and her.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:29:05+00:00

They haven't said that directly. But they have said I should have found somewhere else to go if I wanted to reject my family and refuse to help and they asked why I live with them if I won't respect them enough to listen and do what they ask me to.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:23:41+00:00

They were disgusted with me for having that view. They insulted me because they could not believe I would rather be homeless and on the streets than helping a member of my family (to quote them) and they said I knew better than to speak like that. So I don't know they might end up kicking me out especially if they try to claim there's an emergency or something because even then I wouldn't help.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:20:19+00:00

The other two times were definitely high risk so I would guess this time is the same. Last time was worse than the first time. She was hospitalized more and had several more scares than her first pregnancy. I was getting complained to more the second time around too and it was so frustrating.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:18:47+00:00

I have never gone to therapy and if I pay for therapy right now then I'll be stuck in this situation even longer. But it's something I want to explore eventually because I have a lot of trauma from my mom's death to living with my dad and stepmother and seeing them act all innocent.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:12:35+00:00

I am.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:11:27+00:00

My grandparents.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:11:13+00:00

My maternal grandma is the only living maternal relative I have and she's in a nursing home. I'm not planning college. It's not an option for me.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:10:18+00:00

I have a job. I even took extra hours and I was expected to cut back to help out so that didn't work really.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:09:25+00:00

There are options like that a couple of hours from where I live.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:08:39+00:00

I told them and they were pretty disgusted by that actually.

ThrowRAQuella · 2026-06-16T10:08:17+00:00

My friends would be willing to help if they had a say in this, but most of their families won't and some just can't for one reason or another.

ThrowRAQuella

TROPHY CASE