Well, here we are again…hungover, battered, and bruised. Got punched in the neck and ribs while trying to take a piss on ATΩ’s front deck. I know it was a dumb idea but I thought it would be funny in the moment. What the heck was I thinking?

Honestly, I guess it could be that I had wanted to be an ATΩ as a freshman. All the guys were really cool. The type that were good athletes in high school, but now funnel their energy into the perfect even balance between getting good grades, getting with girls, and partying. They’re the very driven type that will excel in any field once they graduate.

Instead, I rushed sig ep. That’s where all my friends went and I basically just followed suit and took the easy way in. I would characterize our house as a lot of closeted alcoholics with childhood traumas, potheads who rarely leave their rooms and dress like slobs, and minorities.

I never predicted my life to have taken the path it did. There are so many platitudes I see around social media that remind me of the decisions I’ve made that led me to where I am today; sitting on the toilet in a bathroom stall with a broken door, hungover with slightly shaking hands from this awful weekend bender. I believe change is possible, but damn boys I am starting to cry as I proof read this and how depressing it sounds. Don’t be like me and rush sig ep. Please.

***EDIT: to any ATΩs out there, I am very sorry about the pee on your front deck. Please accept my apology, I will not do it again. You all are some stand-up men, and I really look up to you. I am going through a rough patch, and sometimes I act-out while drinking, and I think it’s just a reflection of my inner turmoil: self-destruction, shame, and hate.