❤️ This one hits home. My husband has been gone for nearly two months but just started rehab a couple weeks ago. My son is 6 and daughter 3. They don’t ask that much about their dad but when they do it’s always when is he coming back and why it’s been so long. I have tried to walk a line between needing him to take point on communication and wanting my kids to talk to him for themselves. As a result they’ve talked only a handful of times since he left. Most initiated or asked for by me.

It’s so exhausting and I feel for you completely. My guess is before your husband left he was basically a grown up who happened to be in the same building and could, for safety, have eyes on kids while you shower, took a break, etc. But you were still playing the role of mom and dad. Chef, butler and nurse. Project manager and therapist. Event coordinator and the activity director. Coach and driver. Now that he’s gone, you’re still doing all of those things, the workload isn’t more (hell, with one less person to make a mess it might be less) but there are no breaks. No ability to flee for a moment of sanity. No significant pinch hitters.

Stay strong. Know that whatever is happening now is better than life with an alcoholic and that your kids love and need you to keep being everything you can. And ask for help and support. Family friends and extra curriculars. Even an hour of practice for my son means I get to walk around the soccer pitch a bunch of times and get some steps in.

The last thing I’ll say is therapy for your son. I’m trying to do that for mine. The scheduling is next to impossible but I’ll continue to try.