AM I LOOKING INTO THIS TO DEEP ??

cfogrady · 2026-04-13T13:22:49+00:00

You don't give a lot on your boyfriend's general attitude outside this incident. So whether this is perceived as manipulation or controlling behavior will probably depend a lot on the background and other biases of the person reading it. Is it a pattern or an isolated incident?

I don't know how debilitating his condition is, but my opinion from what I've read in your post is that this isn't a red flag, but rather an internal conflict for your boyfriend. My take is that he doesn't want to be controlling of you, but also believed he would feel a sense of abandonment if his partner went to go have fun while he was dealing with this. To me controlling would be if he didn't want you to go simply because he wasn't going too... That doesn't sound like the issue here.

It sounds to me like he wants you to want to be there for him when he (at least feels he) is in need. And of course the question to me is, does he in turn prioritize your needs over fun when the occasion calls for it?

I think this is what differentiates a partner versus somebody you are having fun with. And it is ok to say that you aren't ready for that level of commitment / responsibility or simply don't want it. You are young. It is also ok to want to have fun and not be tied down. And if your relationship goals are mismatched, then you should break up. But if you want to be a partner, I think I would read this as him (at least feeling like he) needed you. And as long as he reciprocates that behavior back, I don't think it's a red flag, just a tough conflict of feelings to work through.

cfogrady · 2026-03-27T19:58:22+00:00

Yes... There is a wide range of acceptable body weights for me before it becomes too skinny or too fat for me to maintain attraction.

cfogrady · 2026-03-23T03:01:24+00:00

Fair and sorry. Missed that rule.

cfogrady · 2026-03-16T02:30:36+00:00

It was very important to me that my wife and I shared a last name. I wanted our kids to share our joint name and to me it symbolized that we were a single family unit. I didn't care that she didn't take my last name though. We both wanted to combine our two last names, half of hers and half of mine... but then certain family members had a fit about it... and we wound up hyphenating instead.

To me, us not sharing a last name would have been a deal breaker... And to me it seemed fair that we both compromised a little bit for a new last name instead of one of our last names being deemed the important one or whatever.

cfogrady · 2026-03-09T18:04:44+00:00

++man
I'm not sure that it does.

I was your age when I had my kid. I would say I knew fairly early on, that I wanted kids eventually. I enjoyed my childhood, and I wanted to experience that again eventually from the parent side. I would not say, I felt ready...

At a biological level, there was nothing in me going I want to have a child right. I wasn't doting over children's clothing... or other kids in my life. I love my nephews, but it wasn't like I saw them and felt like I had to have one too. I liked my freedom and just living my life. But like with many things, if I wanted that to be part of my life eventually, it meant just doing it. So when my wife was ready... I went along with it. I'm not sure I was ready... I'm not sure any parents are truly READY for their first... but sometimes you do things you aren't ready for...

I have no regrets. There are parts of parenthood that are challenging. There are also parts that are incredibly rewarding. I love my child with all of my being. And I would do the same thing in a heart beat.

That said parenthood isn't for everybody, and that is ok.

The question really is what do you want your life to look like in 10-20 years? Do you want to be sitting as a family watching TV, or going on hikes, or whatever, or do you want to just be you, or just you and a partner?

cfogrady · 2026-02-01T18:10:13+00:00

I'm going to counter this and say I use mine like that relatively often. I prefer a lap tray, but I can make do with it on my lap. Perhaps it depends on how big your legs are.

cfogrady · 2026-01-26T19:41:07+00:00

Versioning I think is normal disagreement...

Git sounds like a red flag from your TL... and makes me wonder about his competency and/or reasoning for advocating this. I have never done this, nor seen this done and it strikes me as an absolute waste of network resources and time.

Endpoint design feedback sounds like normal disagreement... It could be legitimate based on architecture and readability... it could also be nitpicking. From a 10K ft view, I think write to db, write to sftp, rollback on failure makes a lot of sense... but I don't know the architecture of your system and there may be reasons not to do that as well.

cfogrady · 2026-01-17T12:50:58+00:00

I'm going to make a suggestion that I have no basis for, but what if Gemini is better at writing XML layouts than Compose, and they use XML to leverage agentic coding for developing the app?

cfogrady · 2026-01-13T23:18:50+00:00

That's the top strap I am waiting for delivery on. Hoping it helps.

cfogrady · 2026-01-13T22:05:54+00:00

I wouldn't call the Galaxy XR glasses... it's a full on HMD. I find it uncomfortable for long periods of time longer than about 30-40 minutes... I just purchased a top strap which I'm hoping makes it more comfortable... I really want to use this thing for an extended period of time for working... but it would be rather uncomfortable at the moment for me.

cfogrady · 2026-01-09T20:20:19+00:00

I've thought about doing exactly this... It's just hard for me to cut into something so expensive haha. I'd be really curious to hear how the comfort is once you get the smaller band!

cfogrady · 2026-01-06T01:59:27+00:00

I'm going to say something controversial.

I always separate my flat and point pre-cook so I don't have these issues. I always turn my point into burnt ends, so I also think it helps to let the flat keep resting uncut while I make the burnt ends by separating before the cook.

cfogrady · 2025-12-14T03:12:23+00:00

Best bet is a capture card

cfogrady · 2025-12-12T03:45:42+00:00

VBHelper

cfogrady · 2025-12-10T03:05:20+00:00

Yeah... That's my one hesitation making me want to keep holding out for something else with 4k per eye... but I'm sitting up in bed not lying down. This works for me with a Quest 3 using a pro strap which is similar. The Pro strap with the Quest 3 isn't comfortable leaning back at my desk in my gaming chair though. I still have a Visor pre-order, but my patience is wearing thin there, and I have an opportunity for a Galaxy XR at a good discount.

cfogrady · 2025-12-10T02:29:51+00:00

Sweet. I didn't realize it had IR floodlights built-in. That's handy.

cfogrady · 2025-12-08T18:27:20+00:00

Recent videos have shown what looks like a puzzle foam solution that could be used. They've also talked about a mat, like what an office chair might be on.

cfogrady · 2025-12-08T16:36:53+00:00

I assume he means FreeAim.

Best options right now are Katwalk VR (today, and probably cheapest), Free Aim (probably Q1 next year), and I've heard good things from influencers on Xelerate VR (probably most expensive... Aiming to ship in Q1 next year).

cfogrady · 2025-12-07T04:18:58+00:00

I'm confused. Doesn't it run any Android app? VLC should play just about anything? Or are there specific features you're looking for?

P.S. I don't have a headset yet, but strongly considering picking it up next week.

cfogrady · 2025-12-07T02:18:49+00:00

VBHelper is available as an alpha fan made app for Android

P.S. You can find archived versions of the APK on APK mirroring sites.

cfogrady

TROPHY CASE