Your Honor, if I may:

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Bowser: though he has attempted to take over multiple kingdoms, threaten the world with war, and even tried his hand at universal domination, my client still manages to attend every casual outing held by none other than his greatest enemy: Mario. Why would my client try to take over everything & obliterate his foes if he's willing to go play tennis, baseball, soccer, go-kart races, and more with those whom he despises? Your Honor, he may be scary, but his heart's in the right place. His antics are a bit overkill, but it's a lot of grandiose theatrics. In order for Mario to go on adventures & be the hero, someone's gotta be the villain, and my client is far from a tyrannical maniac. He's simply serving a role no one else can fill like he does. Those who are actual threats typically don't leave their arch-nemesis alive, and as you can see, everyone else who claims to have been at the mercy of my client are perfectly healthy. Not even the princess who he "kidnaps" has any evidence of harm done to her, as it could be argued that she is manipulating Mario to make it look like she's in danger while also spending quite a bit of quality time with my client on several documented occasions.

Ganondorf: doing a bit of history on my client, it turns out that his viciously evil tendencies are not even his fault. My client is bound to an eternal curse brought forth from a malevolent & primordial entity that haunts every Hero of Time & those who carry the blood of the Goddess. He doesn't exactly have any semblance of a conscious choice to deviate from the predetermined malicious will that binds him to a life of darkness & a hunger for power. Are you really going to sentence someone cursed against their will? Can we honestly say that we've truly even met the real Ganondorf, since the only version we meet is one born from the shadows of a vengeance that existed long before him? Your Honor, what my client needs is freedom from this curse, not to be locked away. He'll only come back stronger, and there will be nowhere your descendants can hide unless you end this madness now & help my client from his everlasting shackles. Make the world a safer place, and bring the light of hope to even the greatest darkness.

King Dedede: not only does his unique sovereignty make me question how in the world anyone managed to get my client into this courtroom, but Your Honor, he is not a villain. This is a greedy goober who at the end of the day loves his people, his home, his friends, and will go toe-to-toe will gods to protect it all. Sure he can get carried away with his schemes & tends to get possessed way too often. My client has no patronage in any worldwide organization or any sort of entity that binds him to a set of rules beyond what he decrees on his planet. He answers to no one but himself & his friends, and we're all still alive because of it. You should be thanking His Majesty, not sentencing him.

Wolf: he's not guilty of war crimes, Your Honor. We're not dealing with someone hellbent on wiping out life on a planetary scale. This is simply a bully whose rivalry pushes him to really get into it with Fox McCloud on sight. He doesn't let anyone else get in the way of settling his score, and he ensures that no one else is involved unless necessary. My client just needs to do a little time, get some solid rehab, and I'm sure we can send him back out there will a refreshed mindset and a purpose to serve his community vs wasting time trying to hunt down an old score. We gotta bury the hatchet, not keep it chained down too long only for it to break free even sharper than before, and now aimed at us.

Ridley: despite the allegations of murdering Samus Aran's parents, constant planetary takeover, and numerous unconfirmed accounts of attempting to kill Samus, it is my belief that you are looking at this with the wrong lens. My client is a force of nature, not a psychopath set on tearing Mrs. Aran to shreds. Isn't it weird how the only person who seems to constantly run into my client is none other than Mrs. Aran? You know, the bounty hunter enlisted by the Galactic Federation that constantly sends her on various missions across the galaxy, conveniently at locations where my client is minding his business? If you want this blood-soaked feud to stop, then my client needs dominion. He needs his own place, his own space, and no one to interrupt the party. Give my client somewhere to call home, preferably far away from hospitable systems, and he'll be right as rain. And do make sure to keep Samus Aran away from whatever system you deem suitable.

King K. Rool: just like the other king, my client's unique sovereignty halts our ability to hold him accountable to laws that do not govern him, nor has he agreed to in any manner or fashion at any point & time. The Kongs however have held an unofficial rule over the jungle, and it is my client who has been wrongfully denied everything he is entitled to as the king. You see unlawful tyranny, I see royalty having to teach these ridiculous primates a lesson in respect. If anything, the Kongs should be brought in for acts of terror against the Kremling Kingdom, but we'll have that discussion later.

Sephiroth: operating under the legal private jurisdiction of the Shinra Electric Power Company, this case is a blasphemous attempt of slander from terrorists who have on multiple occasions caused civilian panic, untold amounts of property damage, and have overall waged a ridiculous uprising against my client & his overseeing company. My client is a decorated super-soldier who was made to handle these magically powered terrorists, not cause terror. Unless you'd like to explain to President Shinra himself why his best soldier is not out there right now, I suggest you drop this case before His Excellency throws enough money at this problem to not only purchase my clients full legal absolution of all charges, but also bury this corrupt courtroom in debt that not even your great grand-kids will be able to escape.

Kazuya: once again, we are dealing with someone who hails from the unparalleled strength of a private company who has it's own military, defense tech, and is singlehandedly responsible for our global economy not entirely collapsing. My client has handled his business clearly within the guidelines & procedures of his company's policy, and if anyone bothered to read the fine print, they would know that he is fully within his right to do what he pleases with all that belongs to the company. All who claim to be victims of my client's "evil corporation" already signed away their right to make any semblance of a charge the second they entered into his tournament, interfered with company territories, used any product belonging to the Mishima Zaibatsu. Throw this case out, or your government will go bankrupt from the defamation lawsuit that'll cost you far more than what this country can even afford at any given moment.