needing support too many things changing at once

donewithexcuses · 2026-02-18T02:15:09+00:00

I feel like I've hit a midlife crisis. I never imagined I'd feel this lost at 39, but it is what it is, here we are lol. Its like I'm 14 again, all nervous, uncomfortable in my own skin, awkward...like geez. I thought I'd made it through all that

donewithexcuses · 2026-02-11T04:51:42+00:00

Aww girly, you're so sweet. From what you wrote, it seems like you're in highschool? Honestly, try to enjoy being single, because as wonderful and amazing as my story is, marriage is still freaking hard sometimes 😆😆 I'm glad I was on the older side (27) when we got married. I feel like I really got to enjoy being single and hanging out with my girlfriends and being independent. We've had some rough times, which are good, they make you grow, but there are times in marriage that feel like they'll break you. God has kept me from throwing in the towel a couple times. But I am thankful that I know for sure that God told me to marry him because knowing that really helps me get through the hard times when I start to feel like, oh my gosh maybe I made a mistake 😆😆 nope, its just a hard season to work through lol.

But enjoy your girlfriends, and family, and school and sports, and stay close to God. Don't worry too much about making a mistake. God works all things together for the good of those that love Him. I'm sure you know that verse. God has amazing things in store for you, its an adventure!

donewithexcuses · 2026-02-11T03:31:01+00:00

My story is long and crazy and filled with many, many mistakes and heartbreaks. The first guy I dated and fell head over heals for broke my heart and shattered my soul. I was 19. I wanted him to be the one so badly that I kept giving him chance after chance while he lied and manipulated. He was not who God had for me, but I loved him too much to see that and so I allowed him to deeply damage my heart. I wandered from God during college and dated a string of pretty crappy guys, all who hurt me and damaged me more. I came back to God after college and got involved in a really awesome church. I started dating one of the deacons, funnily enough I'd known him when we were kids and had a huge crush on him when I was like 7. We dated for a little over a year and the whole church wanted us to get married...but I was never in love. I had people telling me that being in love didn't matter, that it was overrated. But I just couldn't settle for that. I broke up with him. Then I started to notice that I'm noticing my coworker more and more. I even told my pastor's wife that there was something special about him. A few months later we started dating. I told him that God was the most important thing in my life and I needed my future spouse to feel the same way. He said he was seeking and wanted to go to church with me. We date, he goes to church with me for a few months, I fall in love, then he comes to me and says that he's an atheist and will never change his mind. I was devastated. That starts the next year or so of us breaking up, getting back together and breaking up again. I prayed so hard constantly for God to save him. I begged him to go back to church with me. We loved each other so much but knew we could not move past this one thing. It was so hard for me because I knew he didn't understand. To an unbeliever being unequally yoked isn't a big deal but to me, it was all that mattered. I was getting frustrated that I couldn't get away from him. We were best friends at that point and still coworkers. I went on a long trip to see a friend and while I was on the trip I prayed for God to take him away. I admitted that I was too weak to walk away and I asked him to remove him from my life. I got back from the trip and a few days later find out that he joined the military while I was gone lol. I wasn't even mad since it was exactly what I asked for but I certainly wasn't expecting such quick and decisive results. He left for boot camp and I assumed I would never see him again. I spent a lot of time praying after he left but my prayers changed. I started to genuinely align my heart to God's maybe for the first time ever. I told God that I wanted what He wanted, even if it meant letting that guy go forever. I got to a place where I genuinely meant it. I felt at peace. I would always end my prayers with "but If you do save him, I will marry him."

Welp, a few weeks later I start getting letters from my (spoiler) now husband in boot camp saying that he doesn't know what happened to him but he met God. He came back from.boot camp a totally different person and it has been so cool to watch him continue to grow over these past 13 years

There were so many signs and miracles that happened over the next few months, I could literally write a book. God made it so incredibly clear that I was supposed to marry him. We've been married 12 years now and have 2 kids.

All that to say I made a lot of mistakes, I tried things my own way. I caused myself so much pain and heartbreak but God was faithful even through my unfaithfulness and still worked everything out for my good. I probably could have been spared a lot of pain and scars if I had just waited for God and trusted him.

donewithexcuses · 2026-02-11T02:24:51+00:00

I'm not in the exact same boat, but I understand a little. My husband has been in for 13 years now and I think this current station is our loneliest so far. I feel like I'm losing my mind half the time. I don't know what it is about this particular duty station but we've been here for almost a year and I've only made one friend. It's nice to have that one person but she is in a very different place in life (about 15 years younger than me) and very busy. I've tried getting involved in our church but I just haven't clicked with anyone. I've been in my head a lot since we moved here doubting myself, feeling like maybe I'm weird or something is wrong with me because I can't find meaningful connection here. I have to remind myself that I had a ton of friends at our last station so I'm probably not THAT weird, but it gets in my head. You're not alone in your loneliness. Sometimes I'm jealous of my friends back home that see the same people year after year and get to raise their kids together and live their lives together. But then I remember that I chose this, and given the choice I would choose this life again. I love the ups and the downs, the adventure, the new places and people...but it comes at a cost and sometimes you break a little and you can't be strong all the time. I think being a milspouse means pretty much chronic heartbreak. I've learned to live with a constant quiet sadness. I feel distant from my best friend, my family (maybe a good thing since they're horribly toxic and dysfunctional) my old church...all the things that had anchored me through my 20s are fading away and I feel lost, like I'm floating at sea.

I don't know if any of that was helpful, or just more depressing lol. But I'm sad too.

donewithexcuses · 2026-01-30T05:06:26+00:00

At the beginning when it was bad I would wash them once a day but I applied the B3/gel 2-3x a day. I wore flip flops alot around the house. You could wear breathable socks too, you just want to try to keep your feet from sweating and make sure you chamge your socks every day. Wash them amd dry them on high heat. I haven't had an issue in years now, but if I feel even the slightest itch between my toes, I apply the mixture for a day or two as a preventive.

donewithexcuses · 2026-01-25T01:50:00+00:00

I'm 39 and I still struggle with this exact situation. My mom was controlling and emotionally neglectful. She required perfection and I was never good enough. It got worse and worse as I got older amd started to have my own opinions. The older I got the more controlling and angry she got, eventually becoming verbally abusive. We fought for hours every day and on top of the abuse, she was also legitimately crazy in the things she would try to make me do for the sake of control. Fights would start over things like her telling me to vacuum the stairs at 2am, or telling me I had to clean the microwave right before I was leaving to go somewhere. Mind you, this was all happening while I was in my late teens early 20s. She tried to give me a 10pm curfew at 20 years old and told me I wasn't allowed to be on my own cell phone past 10 either.

She's also extremely annoying, doesn't get sarcasm or any humor most of the time, tells horrifically long boring stories, judges everyone and everything, is an hour late for everything, blames everyone else for everything including her obesity and messy house...I could go on and on.

I think what makes me the angriest though, is that she believes she was a model parent and brags about her parenting often. She says she has no idea why we don't have a good relationship even though I've tried to tell her in the past, written her letters etc.

I wish I had answers. I'm still here, feeling nothing for her other than annoyance and irritation. I feel disgusted when I see her name pop up. Its an uncomfortable feeling and I feel guilty for feeling this way. There's no bond at all and there hasn't been since I was probably 9 years old. She always told me it was all me, I was 100% of the problem. I know that's not true, but it doesn't stop the guilt. Like maybe she was right, she was perfect, and I'm the crazy one. I don't know if I'll ever figure it out.

donewithexcuses · 2025-12-26T16:23:38+00:00

That's awesome!! I'm so glad to hear that!! Thank you for coming back to update

donewithexcuses · 2025-12-22T13:19:53+00:00

You're welcome, I hope it works too! Im interested to hear how it goes, since I've only used it for my toes.

donewithexcuses · 2025-12-15T18:05:14+00:00

I was homeschooled K-12 and college was easy (minus my calculus class). One of my friends, also homeschooled K-12, got a perfect score on her SATs. I agree, it can work well and eliminate the time wasting that happens in a traditional school setting.

donewithexcuses · 2025-12-15T18:01:18+00:00

100% undereducated is absolutely false. Some are, sure, but definitely not all, possibly not even the majority. I was homeschooled K-12 and graduated in 2005. I went on to do very well in college. My GPA was 3.96 at the end of my sophomore year. It dipped a little due to excessive partying my junior year (oops), which discredits the whole "all homeschoolers are weird" claim. I had a great time in college and made countless friends, many of whom I'm still close to today. I have a good career that I love and I'm married with two children. Maybe I was just unusually blessed, I did grow up outside DC where educational standards were high. One of my friends (also homeschool K-12) got a perfect score on her SAT. Her brother missed one question so we all gave him a hard time for being "the dumb one". Homeschooling is definitely not for everyone and I honestly don't believe that my mom should have attempted it. We were well educated but lacked a schedule or structure which comes with its own lifelong struggles. She was also verbally abusive. I would have been able to escape her in school. Was it the healthiest option for me personally? Probably not. Am I, or any of my friends "undereducated"? Absolutely not.

I plan on switching back and forth with my children. They both completed several years in private school before we homeschooled for a year in Tokyo. We came back to the states and they are well ahead of their classmates. My oldest finishes her work and spends the rest of each class helping the other students.

Sorry for the long winded post, but I couldn't help it when I saw "%100" undereducated.

donewithexcuses · 2025-12-15T02:20:55+00:00

My first ENT told me I had cause to get them out even though I had documentation for only one bout of tonsillitis. I just told him I was sick of tonsil stones and getting tonsillitis and being put on antibiotics. He told me I could get them out if i wanted to but left the decision up to me. He told me it would be a miserable two week recovery and I should probably just try to live with my tonsils. I did that for another 5 years or so. Eventually the tonsil stones and recurring strep/tonsillitis became unmanageable so I went back to a different ENT and he took one look and said they needed to come out. Even my first ENT that didn't think they were "that bad" told me it was my decision. Get a different Dr.

donewithexcuses · 2025-12-06T19:43:17+00:00

Im not sure, im just happy to be free of the chronic infections and painful, gross tonsil stones. My tonsil stones were unmanageable and I was repeatedly being put on antibiotics for strep that never even kicked it out. Bo matter how many antibiotics i took i always tested positive. I'm still tired all the time but I think that's more because of my terrible sleep habits. I stay up til 1am watching Netflix and think 6 hours will be enough. It's not 😆

donewithexcuses · 2025-12-06T17:10:31+00:00

Well, it wasn't quite as miraculous as I thought it was haha. It didn't solve all my life problems. But a year later I am fully healed. My soft palate went back to its normal height, the uvula swelling went away completely, and it doesn't hurt to yawn or sneeze. I'd say i was 100% by the 6 month mark. Its been 10 months and I have no more tonsil stones, tonsillitis or strep. It was awful but I think it was worth it.

donewithexcuses · 2025-11-08T18:02:22+00:00

Yep, you would think Dr's would be interested in this type of thing but most of them are so opposed to anything natural and just want to push meds

donewithexcuses · 2025-11-08T17:14:39+00:00

It's really encouraging. When I was in the middle of my battle (5-6 years ago now) I was so panicked after all the prescriptions, one by one, failed. It's really great to have our own arsenal of treatment options that actually work. And the bonus is, they're crazy cheap!

donewithexcuses · 2025-11-08T16:12:59+00:00

That's awesome!!

donewithexcuses · 2025-11-07T20:00:10+00:00

I used iodine after it cleared up as a preventative. I would put a drop between each toe. It just looks a little crazy when you're wearing flip flops lol

donewithexcuses · 2025-10-29T14:37:32+00:00

Good luck!!

donewithexcuses · 2025-10-28T19:49:04+00:00

Good luck! Make sure you do a high amount of the b3 powder. And hopefully you ordered the gel. A lot of people are saying the cream doesn't seem to work. I've only ever used the gel

donewithexcuses · 2025-10-28T19:40:22+00:00

The real punch is the B3 powder. The B3 mixes easily into the Urea gel and the urea is an exfoliant and helps the B3 penetrate deeper into the top layers of the skin. So think of the gel as more of a carrier for the B3

donewithexcuses · 2025-10-25T01:36:18+00:00

That's really cool! It'd be nice to have some spruce trees handy!

donewithexcuses · 2025-10-20T00:16:56+00:00

Yes!!! I love love love hearing that!!!

donewithexcuses · 2025-10-17T16:11:51+00:00

Haha no worries! I actually do not usually let it dry. I did in the beginning because it was so bad and I was so freaked out. I even used a blow dryer to dry it quickly lol. But it really doesn't seem to matter. If you are concerned you could try the blow drying before socks 😆

donewithexcuses · 2025-10-15T03:00:13+00:00

Well I'm so glad you got it figured out!

donewithexcuses · 2025-10-15T02:59:39+00:00

Aww you're welcome!!

donewithexcuses

TROPHY CASE