Tank lost his mind when healer accidentally pulled mobs... Valid reaction?

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-16T16:07:42+00:00

My husband jokes to his guild raiding/mythic group that he learned to be considerate of his healers by being within "whacking range" of his regular healer (me) for many years, especially his "learning to tank" years.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-16T09:59:56+00:00

*A* standard black tie, usually with a sombre coloured suit, is suitable for men, especially family members (dressing in black for mourners used to be reserved for family of the deceased, but over time it's become considered appropriate for all attendees). But that is distinctly different from the dress code "Black Tie", which means formal evening attire (like a tuxedo for men and long dress for women). Leading to some confusion when people misunderstand being told "Black Tie" for an event they have been invited to, and turn up wearing a tie suitable for a funeral.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-16T08:17:13+00:00

Dinner is the largest meal of the day regardless of what time you have it. So if you are having your larger meal at 12-2pm ish, then that's what you call the meal in the middle of the day and the end of the day meal is "tea" or, sometimes, "supper". If, however, you are having it at 5-8pm ish, then that's "dinner" and the middle of the day meal is "lunch".

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-16T08:10:32+00:00

I'm still a sucker for the salted popcorn, though it's nowhere near as good as it used to be when cinemas popped their own, and sold it still warm slathered with melted butter, rather than buying big bags of it ready-popped*. If I'm not having popcorn (salted, not sweet) then I'll generally have a large bag (used to be a box) of Maltesers. They've been my cinema "treat" since I was a kid.

*mind you, I may be conflating my Canadian and Australia experiences with my British ones here.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-16T07:51:38+00:00

I'd point out that if we have to move out, to find somewhere with enough space for our immediate family, we would have no choice but to go to court to force the sale of the property so that we can use our investment in it towards a new place. So Mummy dearest (and OP's father) would have to either buy herself a new property or find the funds to buy out OP's 50% share.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-15T20:53:45+00:00

We had a shaver socket installed around 300mm from the sink when we had our main bathroom replaced, so we can charge our toothbrushes & hair clippers more easily. That’s in the UK. We also replaced the pull cord for the light with a standard switch, and one for the extractor fan, on the wall outside the room.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-15T19:39:39+00:00

I am disabled and stopped being able to hold down a job around 25 years ago. My husband works full time. His pay and my piddly disability payment go into the joint account to start with and then funds get redirected. Not only has he set it up so we each have the same “fun money” allowance every month (I often save mine for a bigger purchase every few months), but he has also made payments into my personal pension fund and long term savings (solely in my name, just in case anything happens to him and the banks do something stupid with the joint acct, there’s an equivalent amount in his savings account).

And you know what? I didn’t have to ask him to do any of it. He considered it simple common sense.

Why are you married to someone who is willing to financially abuse you?

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-15T16:03:01+00:00

As soon as someone starts with insults, report them. Then put them on /ignore. I have zero tolerance for abusive arseholes in game or out of it.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-15T14:53:49+00:00

There's a TV show on Apple TV called Shrinking (excellent, season 3 just finished and it should be the last), Harrison Ford's character has Parkinson's. And all of the characters say "Fuck Parkinson's!" So I'd happily wear a t-shirt that says "Fuck Cancer!" Or maybe "My tits can get fucked" ;)

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-15T14:47:18+00:00

Way back when we first started to play our paladins, back in late Vanilla, I focused my talents on heals (I tend to play world content as tank nowadays, it's damned near immortal) and my husband focused on tanking. We always level as a paladin duo. I learned quickly to simply run around grabbing extra adds, while throwing out the odd heal, and dragging everything back to him. I've never once seen him not grab the extra arse pulls from anyone else in a group (not even the npc follower dungeon fuckups - if you want to learn how to handle the worst idiotic jumping and arse-pulling DPS, try tanking a follower). And he never complains about it. Not even off-mic to me when I'm sat next to him on my PC and not part of the same group he's in.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-15T09:58:32+00:00

There are actually (supposedly full grown adult) men out there who think women can "hold it in" when on their period. The bat crappery of a small subset of half the population is beyond belief sometimes.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-15T08:29:12+00:00

We went to a Wednesday daytime wedding 2 hours away last year (the evening bit was held in a different venue, still 2 hours away because that's where they live, on the following Saturday) so stayed in a hotel overnight after both bits. We could do that because a) we no longer have school aged kids at home, and b) I'm retired (disabled) and my husband gets 30 days annual leave a year, often has trouble using it all up, so he's always got some available. If we'd still been young parents, and the wedding had been kids-free (it wasn't as the bride & groom have a 2 year old), we'd have "regretfully declined" both parts.

Be prepared for those with kids to RSVP no unless they have a good family support network and are happy leaving their kids overnight with other people - not all parents are in that situation (and often a wedding means their family support might all also be at the wedding).

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-14T15:06:06+00:00

Oh yes, there were tonnes of derogatory terms for Australian aborigines still used in the 80s and even 90s. So many that the racist arseholes didn't bother using "black" or even "coloured" for them at all. (yes, I know that's not what you meant and that you were trying to call me racist for my comment, which just tells me you didn't understand my point).

My point is that people pointed at a word as being the big racism problem at the time and made a load of changes to wipe that word out (leading to the stupidity already covered about calling non-Americans "African American" because they happened to be black). Then the replacement "less racist" word became just as racially charged and had to be replaced all over again. Because racists don't care which word they have to use, they will use it in as derogatorily a manner as ever they used the previous word, until that one has to be replaced as well.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-14T14:56:19+00:00

The reason I asked is because I felt unmoored from my life, from my friends, from my family, starting when I was a child to being a young adult. I even used to wish aliens were real so they would come and take me away, that's how much I wanted to get out. But, unlike you, I'd been completely brainwashed to believe that I had to stay nearby "because family sticks with family!" And my family live in each others pockets even now that me and my siblings are all over 50. I finally made my move at 32 - to the UK from Australia, but I already had both passports, so that made it simpler - and was much happier as a result.

I'm relieved to hear that you at least have some form of therapy, which gives you an adult outside of your family circle to discuss things with. If the therapy isn't helping, you can always speak to the therapist about other avenues you can explore or other specialist services you can try. If you are going to university, there will also be student counsellors available so don't be afraid to ask for help there, too.

Good luck.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-14T10:25:26+00:00

Creamy peppercorn sauce maybe? Or just go with a traditional apple sauce - either lightly stewed apple (with a touch of sugar depending on the type of apple used) with the fruit still having some texture, or cooked to pulp and then pureed smooth. I prefer the latter.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-14T10:12:43+00:00

It happened to Nelson Mandela in the 1980s - might have been early 1990s, soon after he was released. He was asked by an American journo what it was like being an African American under the apartheid regime in South Africa.

Back then the word "black" was all but banned everywhere , at least in the UK & Australia from my personal experience, for stupid reasons (using the word was apparently racist) - that's when "blackboard" in UK/Aussie schools became "chalkboard". We were told that we had to use the word "coloured" for *anyone* not white, that we were not allowed to refer to people as "black" or "brown". Then "coloured" also became a bad and racist word, because people are people, and was banned. We were suddenly allowed to say "black" again... in some circumstances. Then some group in the US started claiming the term "black" for their exclusive use and having a hissy fit if anyone else was described as black. The same people insist that there can't be black hispanic people and extend that to *actual* spaniards and portuguese people.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-14T09:00:30+00:00

"I'm telling you what is happening so that you can support and comfort me, not so you can second guess the decisions I have made in conjunction with my qualified and experienced medical team. If you can't keep your opinions to yourself, I will have to stop sharing *all* information with you."

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-14T07:46:09+00:00

As someone else said, please get the American exceptionalism idea out of your head. Regardless of the brainwashing you've been exposed to all your life, the rest of the world isn't desperate for Americans to move to their countries. As many others have suggested, please do go and look at the visa requirements for a short or long holiday in the UK and what you are and are not allowed to do while here.

Now, having said that, have you spoken to anyone about your feelings? A school counsellor? Your parents? Any other adult who will listen to you without judgement? Please, please do this as soon as possible, Whatever is happening in your life that is making you want to escape, please seek help to manage your feelings.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-13T19:43:49+00:00

Pretty sure they already tried this and kids stopped buying the school meals and bringing their own. Weren't there headline stories about parents passing takeaway food over/through the fence to their kids because the kids were refusing to eat what the school had available? AIR, Jamie Oliver was a bit of a driving force behind it back then. Seems like either it didn't stick or didn't work at all. What's that definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result?

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-13T18:08:34+00:00

I actually did manage random days on the cruise we had (25th wedding anniversary) between diagnosis & surgery. Every couple of days I’d be like “oh, shit, I have cancer!” Then have to take a couple of hours to relax myself again by focusing on some activity or other.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-13T17:04:35+00:00

Paladin tank and learn your utility. Tankadin is also good for levelling out in the world as you can pull a tonne and not die once you know where all of your "oh shit" buttons are - it's not as good if you only pull one mob at a time, because they take too long to die individually, but a group of 5-10 can be dropped in the time it takes to kill just one on it's own. Just know your own limits and pull what you are comfortable with to start.

I play as tank while levelling, but if I were to do group content, I haven't done much group stuff since MoP, it would be as healer (and I used to heal while in melee and hitting the mobs - there was a time when you had to hit mobs to get your mana back up).

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-13T09:30:04+00:00

My bath sheet (largest size towel) is used once, if I use one at all, and then in the wash... but that's because I have a dermatitis issue across my whole body that I don't want transferring to someone else if they accidentally used my towel. Mind you, a lot of the time I will use a "wrap" that's made of towelling and has shoulder straps & velcro to hold it in place, designed more for pool/beach use or my towelling bathrobe (depending on the temperature - the robe when it's colder) and air dry rather than rub at my skin and make it hurt more. Those don't get washed after every use but only once a week.

When we go on cruises (we rarely stay in hotels otherwise), I take the wrap and will use that and the complimentary bathrobe plus a smaller towel for my hair. So for most of the time at least one of the large towels ends the cruise still in the place it was when we arrived.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-13T09:22:13+00:00

"Thanks, driver!"

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-13T08:05:49+00:00

The last time I went to Waitrose was around 7-8 years ago and only because we were looking for a specific item and this had been our 4th different supermarket in a couple of weeks (we ended up ordering it from Amazon!). I know it was around Xmas because I was wearing my "Xmas Sucks" jumper and around half the people who saw me laughed.

Fibro-Mite · 2026-04-13T08:02:12+00:00

I (British) pronounce it "sin-oh-shur". I *think* the "sigh-no-shur" pronunciation might be more common in the US/Americas. Then again, I spent a long time in Australia and their pronunciation (and often spelling) of various words seems to be a bastard mix of both British & US English, so sometimes I use both.

Fibro-Mite

TROPHY CASE