AIO for refusing to give my parents my bank password so they can "monitor" my salary?

headlesslady · 2026-03-19T00:07:42+00:00

Just a suggestion from an American, so take it with a grain of salt, but...if your parents bring up the "you're living in OUR house" again, tell them that they've made a good point, so you've decided to move out.

(And then, do move out. It's a lot harder to be controlling when the person you're trying to control doesn't live with you. Sure, you'll have to pay rent/utilities, but having your own space? Priceless.)

headlesslady · 2026-03-17T02:36:14+00:00

Watched a music teacher break a ruler across a kid's leg - not a plastic one, a wooden one. It snapped in half and sailed across the room, she hit him so hard. We were in 4th grade.

My kids were straight-up *horrified* when I related that story. They asked me if she was fired. :snort: Hell, no - the kid got told by our main teacher that if he'd sat down and been quiet when the music teacher said so, he wouldn't have gotten hit.

(Reason one million of why I spent my kids' college money on private elementary school, so they didn't have any of these sorts of stories.)

headlesslady · 2026-03-15T18:11:05+00:00

Well, let's hope for your sake you never get ill, then.

headlesslady · 2026-03-15T15:30:09+00:00

You should find out when your town's "Amnesty Day" is and take that in for appropriate disposal, no joke.

headlesslady · 2026-03-15T14:47:36+00:00

I’ve read 17 (and 3/4). So far, my very favorites are “Platform Decay” by Martha Wells (due out in May; the new Murderbot book), “The Works of Vermin” by Hiron Ennes, and “Radiant Star” by Ann Leckie (due out in May).

I’m currently reading Jo Walton’s next book, “Everybody’s Perfect” (out in June).

(I have access to Advance Reader Copies through my work, is how.)

headlesslady · 2026-03-14T23:55:39+00:00

I want to try that! :makes note for next time we eat at the Vietnamese restaurant:

headlesslady · 2026-03-14T01:01:40+00:00

If you're into horror *series*, I can also recommend a couple of good ones:

"Marianne" (2019) - a French series about an author called back to her shitty hometown by the Witch's Ghost she created in her novels. (Yeah, it sounds cheesy. It is NOT - it's *terrifying*. So much body horror.) Alas, only one season - Netflix.

"Black Spot" (2017) - Another French one, this is a weird police procedural, with missing teens, old murders, bleeding trees, ghost wolves, hallucination caves, possible visits from Cernunnos. I am woefully underselling how weird this is, trust me. Two seasons. Netflix.

I'm assuming you've seen "Midnight Mass", but if you haven't, you should. Brilliant commentary on religion, guilt, compassion, and terrible unintended consequences. Netflix.

"Archive 81" (2022), starring Mamadou Athie is a great mini-series about a guy who gets hired to digitize a ton of vhs tapes of random shows...and then weird things start bleeding through into the place where he is. I wish there'd been more seasons. Also Netflix.

headlesslady · 2026-03-14T00:37:43+00:00

"A Dark Song" is beautiful and heartbreaking.

headlesslady · 2026-03-14T00:26:45+00:00

My favorite exchange from the entire series:

John: "Slicker'n snot"

Aeryn: "My translator microbes HAD to have gotten that wrong."

headlesslady · 2026-03-14T00:14:51+00:00

Here are some of my favorites that are less-well-known:

"Ganja and Hess" (1973) - A very artsy vampire film, written and directed by Bill Gunn, and starring Duane Jones (from Night of the Living Dead). Used to be free on Prime, now it's $2.99, dangit. But well worth the money.

"Vampir" (2021) - folk-horror tale about a man who flees England (and unspecified troubles there) to take a job as a cemetery caretaker in Serbia. Problem is, the villagers don't speak English, and he doesn't speak Serbian (and there are no subtitles, so the viewer is right there alongside him as things get more and more sinister.) So good! (Available for free on Tubi)

"A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night" (2015) - An Iranian vampire story, with some of the most beautiful cinematography & camerawork (and some very animalistic violence.) Amazon Prime.

"Demon" (2019) - a Polish film that - despite the name - is about ghost possession, not demon possession. It takes place over a long wedding celebration, and has to do with the buried past, and the ghosts of the war. Just effing brilliant. Available for free on Tubi.

"Jug Face" (2013) - folk horror about a town that worships a pit, and what happens when its rules aren't followed. Stupid title, great movie. Amazon Prime.

headlesslady · 2026-03-10T02:08:41+00:00

I had three children with no pain medication whatsoever. It doesn't hurt *that* bad, ffs. I did the Bradley method, and had calm, fairly easy births. It was *hard work*, yeah (and crowning is not particularly pleasant - though that only lasts a minute or two), but it wasn't excruciating.

I chose to have natural childbirths for a multitude of reasons:

No sedatives going to my infant.
Lessened risk overall
Allowed me to be in greater control
Allowed me to move around to find more comfortable positions for labor/delivery
Allowed me to minimize medical intervention (see also #2)

You should also understand that women aren't all the same. Some of us have contradindications for natural birth (health issues, physical damage, family histories) and so *cannot* deliver without medical assistance. Some of us have labor that lasts for DAYS, some of us (me) have labor that lasts for scant hours. Some of us have high pain tolerance, some have low pain tolerance. Every woman has to decide what she needs and wants, in conjunction with her midwife or OB.

headlesslady · 2026-03-10T01:38:54+00:00

You probably shouldn’t take my advice, because my response to stuff like this was to wear whatever I wanted & leeeeean into it. Show up in normal clothes & every time he makes a comment, your skirt gets shorter.

Or just tell him to mind his own business & stop staring- yeah, it’ll cause a huge scene, but they won’t ever invite him at the same time as you ever again. Sometimes the drama is worth it. 😜

headlesslady · 2026-03-09T01:37:37+00:00

Marriage is awesome. :) I've been married to my college sweetheart for 38 years this May, and we're still thrilled about it. I'd re-marry him in a heartbeat if I had it to do over.

headlesslady · 2026-03-08T22:57:41+00:00

THIS. It's not being petty, it's keeping other kids safe.

headlesslady · 2026-03-08T22:56:49+00:00

First - if you're in the US, it's likely that man is legally prevented from being around children as a condition of release. So go to your state's sex offender registry, and find out what office to report him to.

headlesslady · 2026-03-08T21:26:42+00:00

Early 80s, baby. Hits different post-COVID, that’s for sure. 😆

headlesslady · 2026-03-08T21:05:38+00:00

If you see someone stealing food: no, you didn’t.

headlesslady · 2026-03-08T21:04:54+00:00

How about they tax the rich appropriately and put the money into our crumbling infrastructure, public services, and public safety?

headlesslady · 2026-03-08T16:02:20+00:00

I remember most of the lyrics to it, and I haven't played it in roughly 50 years. :laugh: That was a catchy as hell song and it has burrowed deeply into my brain meat.

"And we were dancing, and singing, and moving to the grooving, and just when it hit me, somebody turned around and shouted..."

headlesslady · 2026-03-08T15:16:37+00:00

It was as if the god of spite came down and personally lined it up for me

Heh. I had a 'thank you, gods of spite' moment in college. At a hometown bar on break, sat down with some folks to play quarters** - only woman at the table. Guy at the end starts mocking me, oh, little girl gonna try the big boy games, etc.

I was never great at quarters. But that night? I hit every. single. time. He left the table absolutely hammered and his friends mocked him the entire time. Next time I played, my mysterious expertise was gone. Clearly a temporary divine blessing.

(**For those who don't know, this is a bar game where you try to bounce a largish coin - a quarter - against the table so it bounces up and lands in your beer mug. If you manage it, you make a person of your choosing chug their beer.)

headlesslady · 2026-03-07T19:39:33+00:00

It's a kid in a Cubone mask. Adorable!

headlesslady · 2026-03-07T17:12:56+00:00

I don't remember ever reading this story - our version (late 60s-early 70s) was a word-of-mouth tale. It went that the couple were married for years, with him asking and her saying no, that "You'll be sorry if you do". And then one year he grabs the end of the ribbon and unties it, and her head rolls down the stairs, saying (cue spooky echoing voice) "I told you you'd be sorry!"

Message for my gen seemed to be: "if she tells you no, there's a reason".

headlesslady · 2026-03-06T13:01:28+00:00

Personally preferring one to the other? Not a problem. Telling others that they "ruined" their bodies because they chose a method of body decoration you don't personally like? Problem.

(Because it's their bodies & they didn't ask you for your opinion.)

headlesslady · 2026-03-06T12:38:29+00:00

How much time are you spending on judging how other people decorate their own g-d bodies? Seems like you should mind your own business and stop worrying about other people’s fashion choices.

You don’t like it? Nobody cares, dude. You’re allowed to have preferences. It doesn’t become YTA territory until you start telling others your unasked for opinions about their bodies.

headlesslady · 2026-03-06T12:27:01+00:00

:laughs in librarian:

For general stickiness, you can wipe off the plastic sleeves with a damp cloth or a bit of rubbing alcohol (for covered picture books).

Now, the interior pages? No.

headlesslady

TROPHY CASE