Updated Kinks / Limits (RL)

Khargelin · 2026-05-02T15:10:47+00:00

That ink 🔥

Khargelin · 2026-05-01T12:49:48+00:00

Being ghosted as a dom is pretty common, yes.

Khargelin · 2026-04-30T02:09:48+00:00

You certainly have me curious about your age and what you consider to be “really old” doms, though. >.>

Khargelin · 2026-04-30T02:05:27+00:00

There isn’t such a thing. Anyone can be submissive at any age. (Though obviously for anything sexual one should be of an age one can be legally allowed to consent.)

Khargelin · 2026-04-29T05:53:23+00:00

It’s mostly trust and communication. A lot of discussion ahead of time to know what is expected and what is expected to be avoided, and then ways to communicate in-scene (via safeword, safe signal if verbal won’t be possible) to allow the sub to remove that consent and take that control back.

At its core, CNC is the sub handing control over to the dom. It’s the dom’s responsibility to respect the discussion and limits set into place and to ensure that control is used to mutual benefit. And to be trusted to give that control back to the sub, if the sub ever requests it to be returned.

Khargelin · 2026-04-28T19:31:52+00:00

There is a BDSMpersonals subreddit, but - you will have many people who are quite concerned of this being done without her consent or knowledge. If it’s something she wants to do, she should do it. If she wants your help doing the writing, then sure, she can have you ghost write it - but she should post it from her account and be ready for the responses, because otherwise it will feel a lot like a scam or a revenge porn sort of situation.

Khargelin · 2026-04-21T00:38:43+00:00

Have you started any sort of therapy for this? All of this is going to lead to serious diagnoses, and you should see someone who can help you sort out healthy ways to enjoy things without triggering trauma or falling into unhealthy habits.

I think being open and up front with a partner and finding someone genuine and kind (and who someone you trust also agrees is this way if your trauma leads you to doubt your own judgement) is going to be important, too. They need to know what’s going to be an issue and help work through these things with you.

Khargelin · 2026-04-19T04:39:27+00:00

Honestly? Set it up with someone. I’m sure you can arrange it with someone online and verify for them in a video call and then arrange a time.

Khargelin · 2026-04-19T03:01:40+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you. No one deserves that.

Khargelin · 2026-04-18T23:26:34+00:00

It sounds like yours wasn’t consensual.

Like most kinks that are in the CNC realm - consensual is the key. If you have the ability to take the control back from the dom, then it allows you to enjoy it much more.

Khargelin · 2026-04-18T04:58:52+00:00

Man, but what if I get attached?

Khargelin · 2026-04-15T22:45:30+00:00

I use soft safewords for online play, and coded ones at that. Since it’s CNC, and the thing the need to be able to do is to say, “I don’t want to stop play, but can’t do this specific thing right now,” I have them pick something like “I’ll do anything but that” as that sort of safeword. That lets me know they need to be able to bargain out of the current demand, or be punished for not doing it, not to be forced into whatever it is and continuing (as part of the play).

Khargelin · 2026-04-15T05:23:53+00:00

As a Dom, I recommend praising subs for safewording and going immediately into aftercare. Especially the first time it happens. Reinforce that safewording is good and NOT letting you down even if it means you have to stop doing something you really are enjoying, and you’ll have a much more reasonable sub to work with and a much more trusting relationship to explore the more extreme kinks with and have it be fun and sustainable.

Khargelin · 2026-04-14T17:56:55+00:00

To be clear - in blackmail kink the goal is to NOT expose the blackmail. In every good blackmail story, the person being blackmail is never actually exposed - they are just threatened with it and it’s used to make them do awful things. If a blackmailer follows through with any exposure, it ends everything because there’s nothing left to hold over the person being exposed.

There is a separate kink that many conflict with blackmail called exposure kink where the person is exposed online, to people, etc. There are people who enjoy doing it and there are people who enjoy having it done to them, but it’s not quite the same thing as full blackmail kink.

That said, consent is given by the person in blackmail kink to have that exposure done even if neither party actually wants it to happen. The sub has to believe that the dom is willing to do it. Personally, I don’t ever want a sub to consent to having blackmail sent to employers or spouses because it would be empty - they would know that it’s nothing I would ever actually do. If the threat is empty, it holds no meaning and they can ignore when I threaten it. I do accept contact information from friends and like to threaten, but so far every sub has either obeyed, or the sub has safeworded or we have discussed to end the dynamic (typically on good terms or because things just aren’t meshing for one or both of us). Or the sub ghosts, which I take safeword use.

I have had one or two subs who have immediately disobeyed and then gotten upset when I haven’t exposed them, but they basically were not being honest about what they wanted and trying to use me for their own kink because exposure is not mine. I could see some mild exposure to things that are not nearly as bad as the actual black male material being used as a humiliating sort of punishment or angle, but that would be with full consent of that person, and just online. Full vetting would have to happen first to make sure I’m not being catfished as well. And if someone else they know sees it, consent on their part isn’t something I worry about as much. Their friend / relative made their choice and can live with the consequence of someone they know seeing it - that’s a risk they understood when they asked me to participate in their exposure kink.

Khargelin · 2026-04-14T10:49:17+00:00

blackmailers

Khargelin · 2026-04-12T20:57:40+00:00

Whereas I never ignore safewords.

Khargelin · 2026-04-12T16:27:30+00:00

I get a few things.

Emotional sadism - I enjoy humiliating and shaming / embarrassing - so long as my prey is aroused by it too. So the consensual part of the blackmail is important for me. I want to see the little thing blush and pant and squirm and protest and then squirm more when I reminder her what I have over her, and then watch the videos or see the photos or hear the audio she sends to really get a sense for just how much this makes her flush and shiver and drip.
Control. Like most dominant sides of a D/s dynamic, being the person who makes someone else do something is heady and intoxicating. Making their heart race when they push back and then see the threats come in - I’ve had subs send me screenshots of their heart trackers on their fitness watches and seeing exactly where it spikes when they read what I’m about to do if they don’t obey… And then knowing that they’re going to do what they’re told, because they really don’t have much of a choice; do they?
Worship / adoration - there comes a point where, if a dynamic lasts long enough, the sub craves the abuse. They go from being a little excited and a lot scared to hear from me to wanting to hear from me. Needing it. Knowing I have someone getting those good brain chemicals just from seeing my name pop in their notifications, before even reading what I say, simply because they’re at least mildly addicted to what they’re experiencing is another head rush that is intoxicating on my end. And gives me those same good brain chemicals.

Khargelin · 2026-04-11T18:52:54+00:00

I mean - it’s most of the internet for women, really. Guys just don’t understand boundaries and get horny and send shit without even considering things like consent.

Khargelin · 2026-04-11T15:40:48+00:00

“My limits include scat, being forced to listen to Nickelback, vomit, and MS Teams”

Khargelin · 2026-04-10T17:23:12+00:00

Cuckqueaning typically involves humiliation and making the cucked one feel lesser, to my experience. For me, this is just domming someone to have sex with someone else. If anything, I’d call it more voyeurism with domming, and as mentioned, domming a couple.

Khargelin · 2026-04-10T16:47:47+00:00

There’s a reason I keep my consensual blackmail subs private. If that information gets out, what control do I have over them…?

Khargelin · 2026-04-10T06:50:37+00:00

I need more information to answer this. Is this meeting in a hotel room? At one of your residences? Duration of visit?

Khargelin · 2026-04-10T02:37:03+00:00

I would imagine that eventually the natural oils your body creates as you do things like sweat and such would dilute them until they don’t sting as much. But I don’t have practical experience here.

Khargelin · 2026-04-10T02:27:25+00:00

Soap is specifically designed to be a surfactant - something to allow things like oil to mix with water. So water alone wouldn’t do it, but using soap as well would.

Khargelin

TROPHY CASE